Sarcasm Aside

Moving Day

2007-12-10T22:00:00.000+08:00

I broke my piggy bank and bought virtual estate.

I am now at:

alternatii.com

golB eht dniheB ecaF

2007-08-25T21:41:00.000+08:00

The fabulous cheH tagged me with a... (drum roll please...)

Face Behind the blog meme.

Putting a face to the name of someone you haven’t met helps recognition and adds a more personal feel to your conversations.
What photograph shows you in a light we don’t often see through your blog?

I thought of a whole autobiographical account (in pictures) about me... but decided otherwise. (That would be a freakishly long post) So I settled with this one particular yellowish photo.

Look at me trying out for Baywatch. (I can't swim) I miss the good ole days when I can get away with a sando (tank top)... and when baby oil was used instead of sun block (ouch!) and by this I mean, that youthful notion of invincibility. I miss that...

We don't have beaches where I live. We have beeches (oooh, how original... a play on words). We actually have pine trees here in Baguio. Beeches just sounded (while I was typing it) wittier. I would have done the other homonym but I can't claim that my city is in any way special with regard the female dog populace. Anyhoo...

The salty scent of a nearby beach can send tingles up the spine of anyone who has spent most of hisher life on a plateau and whose regular notion of "a lot of water" is the Santo Tomas reservoir. The sight of the sky blue on teal horizon line never fails to take my breath away (Just ignore the canoodling couple in the background of this particular photograph) The rhythmic sound of crashing waves is as foreign a sound to a Baguio citizen as the sneeze of an Emperor Penguin is to an outback aborigine.

The largest amount of sand one sees in Baguio would be a 3 foot hill of gray sand outside a house being constructed. Enough to bury someone totally... but not enough to play beach volleyball on.
I love the beach. The sight, the smell, the sound and the feel of it all. (I'll add taste in this statement if and when I find myself crazy enough to taste sand)

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I am tagging anyone who
a. reads this, and
b. hasn't done this yet.

(And by that, I mean you... I have a counter that records IP addresses so you better do it... or else, you'll find me sometime next week knocking on your door with a shovel and a bucket of sand)

Check David Airey's blog for details.

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Read! Read! Read!

2007-08-13T18:35:00.000+08:00

(lashing a whip simultaneously)

After being tormented by a friend of mine, who saw the movie several days before I did, with chants of "spider pig, spider pig...", I did what any self respecting Simpson fan would do... I saw the movie the moment free time peeked its elusive head.

Nome and a dooohme, a scissor lift and cocoa, the actual geographic location of Springfield, Homer finally overcoming that canyon...
I was thoroughly satiated by the movie. *sigh*

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It's only proper to do a Simpsons 13th list. Here are...

13 Simpsonized Celebrities
(and then some...)

The first celebrity to ever be credited "himself" in the show was Tony "I Left my Heart in San Francisco" Bennett. I couldn't find a yellowed image of him online... so I picked these guys instead.

George Bush Senior

- Ex- president / Dubya's Dad
- Mr. Wilson to Bart the Menace
- Special appearances too by Barbara Bush, Gerald Ford and Mikhail Gorbachev (and his red forehead mark too)

"Don't understand lemonade myself... not my forte"

EDIT: Bush Sr. didn't actually "guest" in the show...

Ok, The Real List....

Simon Cowell
(Smart and Smarter)

Lisa: So, Maggie's not a genius?
Cowell: She could be, at sweeping up hair.
Homer gets angry.
Homer: That's my baby jerk.
Homer punches Simon.
Cowell: Ow! You call that a punch? I felt it. But it was like so what!
Homer punches him again.
Cowell: Ooh! Again with the nose. I have a chin you know.

Scully and Mulder

(The Springfield Files)

(Mulder and Scully watch Homer jogging on a treadmill)
Mulder: Wait a minute Scully, what's the point of this test?
Scully: No point. I just thought he could stand to lose a little weight.
Mulder: His jiggling is almost hypnotic!
Scully: Yes. It's like a lava lamp.

Mick Jagger and Keith Richards
(How I Spent my Strummer Vacation)

Mick Jagger: Welcome to Rock n' Roll Fantasy Camp, where you'll experience the complete rock n' roll lifestyle, without the lawsuits and STDs.
Homer: Wooo! STDs!

British Royalty and that Guy from Joe Millionaire

L to R: Queen Elizabeth II (not herself, duh), J.K. Rowling, Tony Blair,
Evan Marriott (Joe Millionaire), Sir Ian Mckellen, Edwina (Jane Leeves)
(The Regina Monologues)

Lisa: Look! It's J.K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter books! You've turned a generation of kids onto reading.
Rowling: Thank you, young muggle.
Lisa: Can you tell me what happens at the end of the series?
Rowling: He grows up and marries you. Is that what you want to hear?
Lisa: Yes…

The Smashing Pumpkins
(Homerpalooza)

Corgan: Hey cannonball, I like your statement: when life takes a cheap shot at you, you stand your ground. Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins.
Homer: Homer Simpson, smiling politely

Stephen Hawking
(They Saved Lisa's Brain)

Hawking: Your theory of a donut shaped universe is intriguing Homer, I may have to steal it.
Homer: Wow, I can't believe someone I never heard of is hanging out with a guy like me.

Barry White
(Whacking Day)

White: I love the sexy slither of a lady snake.

Paul and Linda McCartney
(Lisa the Vegetarian)

Paul: Linda and I both feel strongly about animal rights. In fact, if you play "Maybe I'm Amazed" backwards, you'll hear a recipe for a really ripping lentil soup.
Lisa: When will all those fools learn that you can be perfectly healthy simply eating vegetables, fruits, grains and cheese.
Apu: Oh, cheese!
Lisa: You don't eat cheese, Apu?
Apu: No I don't eat any food that comes from an animal.
Lisa: Ohh, then you must think I'm a monster!
Apu: Yes indeed I do think that. But, I learned long ago Lisa to tolerate others rather than forcing my beliefs on them. You know you can influence people without badgering them always. It's like Paul's song, "Live and Let Live".
Paul: Actually, it was "Live and Let Die".
Apu: Well, whatever, whatever. it had a good rhythm.

Tony Hawk

(Barting Over)

Hawk: Homer, you're heading for parental face plant! Do a 180 emotional ollie.
Homer: Finally, someone explains it to me in words I can understand!

Bob Hope
(Lisa the Beauty Queen)

Hope: (Entertaining troops) Hi I'm Bob "what the hell am I doing in Springfield" Hope. Hey, this mayor Quimby, he's some golfer. His ball spends more time underwater than Greg Louganis.

(P.S. I don't get the joke either...)

Metallica
(The Mook, the Chef, the Wife and her Homer)

(On the way to school, Otto stops the bus and offers Metallica a ride; their tour bus has broken down.)
Otto: So what are you waiting for? Hop in.
James Hetfield: (Chuckles) Hop in what?
(The school bus peels away with Bart at the wheel.)
Bart: Look at me, I'm Otto! I'm a hundred years old and I drive a school bus!
Otto: Oh, man. Maybe me and Metallica can go splitsies on a cab.
(Hans Moleman slowly drives by in a pickup truck, with Metallica and their gear in the bed of the truck.)
Kirk Hammett: Hey, loser, we got a ride from a real fan!
Hans Moleman: I used to sleep with Lars' grandmother.
Robert Trujillo: Never listen to our music again!
(Hans Moleman pulls away as Metallica plays an instrumental from the song, "Master of Puppets.")

Leonard Nimoy
(Marge vs. The Monorail)

Leonard Nimoy: (appraising the monorail) I'd say this vessel could do at least warp 5.
Mayor Quimby: Yes, and may I say, "May the Force be with you."
Leonard Nimoy: annoyed) Do you even know who I am?
Mayor Quimby: I think I do. Aren't you one of the Little Rascals?

Green Day
(The Simpsons Movie)

Billie Joe Armstrong: We've been playing for three and a half hours, and now we'd like to take a minute of you time to say something about the environment.
(The Springfieldians start booing & throwing garbage)

(And then the stage is upended... sinks... and Green Day does that Titanic violin thing.... hilarious!!!)

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Honorable Mentions
Let's see how many you can recognize...

Left to right, top to bottom:

Conan O'Brien, The White Stripes, Alex Trebek, Bette Midler,
Luke Perry, Michell Kwan, Magic Johnson, U2,
Aerosmith, Kid Rock, N'sync, Elton John,
Yao Ming, Alec Baldwin, Barney, Richard Gere,
Venus and Serena Williams, Andre Agassi and Pete Sampras, Britney Spears, Big Bird,
The Ramones, Tom Jones, Tito Puente, Peter Frampton,
Kim Basinger, Andy Dick, James Brown, Spinal Tap,
Cypress Hill, Mel Gibson, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Gerald Ford,
Jason Bateman, Lucy Lawless (Xena), Ron Howard, REM,
Ricky Gervais, The Who, The Grouch, Matt Groening.

That was fun, no? Here's another one... Trying naming the album covers The Simpsons parodied.

Left: Nevermind (Nirvana)
Middle: Born in the USA (Bruce Springsteen)
Right: Abbey Road (The Beatles)

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I dunno which confirmed guest appearance I'm more anxious to see... Amy Winehouse or Jon Stewart. Predicament... predicament...

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Escapism

2007-08-08T20:49:00.000+08:00

Michael Scofield had to spend months studying and researching every single thing between a screw he can use as an Allen wrench to D.B. Cooper, had to tattoo about 50 percent of his body with things as vital as structural plans of Fox River Penitentiary to a thanks-for-tattooing-the-obvious "Christ in a Rose" (alluding to Christina Rose, his mom's and boat's names... Does one really need a tattoo to remember a huge boat christened with your mom's name?) Anyhoo... He also mastered folding paper cranes. He did this all to escape from one prison... and eventually end up in another one.

(Post-Spoiler Alert)

My mode of escape is far less taxing, not to mention friendlier (and non-permanent) to the skin. These are all I need...

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After catching an inch thick layer of dust on my movie backlog shelf, I finally got to see Pan's Labyrinth. It is, visually, a very beautiful film. It shows the whimsical world of Princess Moanna filled with faeries and magical chalk... but also, doesn't shy away from showing the terrifying world of fascist Spain filled with death, torture and a sliced mouth.

I always enjoy a well made film with not so well known actors. The absence of top-billed celebrities almost always lets the story and the craft stand out. A delight... as opposed to a mental montage of previous astounding roles flashing through one's head while watching a well known actor crash and burn, one suffers through in most well publicized films.

There is much to be said about fantasy literature... and conversely fantasy films. The transient escape they offer, no matter how bizarre to students of cynicism, is priceless.

Legendary authors like J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis wrote escapist literature to the nth degree. Although probably not intentional, it seems they designed alternate realities to the Second World War. The fantasy worlds may have elves, dwarves, centaurs and a magical lamp post... but the terrors of war and death are real and wholly prevalent, but with a inkling that in the end, goodness will prevail.

Both put the fate of the world in the hands of seemingly atypical characters. Atypical in the sense that they are not a ripped Hercules or an Excalibur wielding King Arthur. Hobbits and children are the primary heroes in these tales... an empowering idea that anyone with a courageous heart can be epic worthy. They (as said poignantly by Blanche in A Streetcar Named Desire) rely on the kindness of strangers. A faun with a red scarf, an emaciated hobbit with multiple personalites, talking beavers, talking trees... And they are under the guidance of someone "enlightened" in the Dalai Lama sense of the word... a white wizard and a lion with a soothing voice.

They wage war against the most Goliath-esque of enemies with legions of ferocious pawns. Sauron with his Nazgul, orcs and Uruk-hai... Jadis with her wolves, dwarves and minotaurs.

Contemporary works follow a similar trend. J.K. Rowling, especially so in her final books, had less than subtle metaphors about terrorism guised as deatheaters and dementors.

Even the Wachowski brother's Matrix Trilogy, has the elements of unlikely heroes and impossible enemies (not to mention insanely chic eyewear)

Escapism is underrated. Many brush it off as works of whimsy made by wishful authors or brothers on pot. Attempts at belittling reality. To the contrary, I believe these books and films capture the essence of the times they were made more than history books and CNN specials. The characters are ironically made more relateable (yes, even with hobbit feet and wands), the emotions on war more authentic. (yes, even with the dramatic speeches before engaging in battle) It captures the pre-war anxiety, the terrors of war, and the post-war oxymoron of, for lack of a better term, a bitter sweet ending.

(Ok, even I puked a little in my mouth with all this sentimentality)

Tolkien said it best...
"Escapism (has) an element of emancipation in its attempt to figure a different reality"

It's kinda like bad news broken gently during bedtime.

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Paper

2007-07-26T17:44:00.000+08:00

What do writer George Bernard Shaw, rock legend Mick "Lips" Jagger, and actors Kevin Spacey, Drew Barrymore, Helen Mirren, Jeremy Piven and Kate Beckinsale have in common?

They share my little ole blog's birthday.

Ok, I totally borrowed the first anniversary paper gift from wedding anniversaries... but humor me for a bit. Instead of giving me a "Happy Blogging Anniversary" comment on my comment box, How about giving me any of the following paper goodies as an anniversary gift... eh?

The World's Largest Paper Airplane
Ok, scratch this one... First of all, where will I put it... and second, it's made of steel and fiberglass, not really true to the whole "paper" theme.

Dillon Works, Inc.

A Lifetime Subscription of The New Yorker!
... plus all back issues since 1925! Yey! You will get me this? really? Shucks!

The New Yorker

Shoji Doors
I've always wanted a Japanese styled bedroom with dramatic lighting from translucent rice paper. It's like waking up to an Akira Kurosawa film every single day.

But for my room's night illumination, I'll need...

A Frank Gehry Cloud Lamp
He's the infamous deconstructivist architect of The Guggenheim Museum in Bilbao and the Walt Disney Concert Hall in LA. He makes amazing lamps too!

www.bonluxat.com

or

An Ogetti Onesti Lamp
This geodesic paper cup lamp (yes... paper cups and held with paper clips methinks) puts tasteful recycled art to a whole new level.

www.tim-power.com

A Peter Callesen Piece
This piece is Impenetrable Castle from the A4 papercut collection. It's amazing what he can do with something as mundane as A4 coupon bond paper. The paper remains whole in a sense that the objects he creates remains attached to the paper and he doesn't use additional pieces of paper.

www.petercallesen.com

An Ingrid Siliakus Piece
The female artist creates mobiles, framed pieces and installations from paper. This one is called "Innerrings". Great conversation piece, don't cha think?

ingrid-siliakus.exto.nl

A Souper Dress!
Hanging a Paper Campbell Soup dress in your room is as good as hanging the original one made by pop art icon Andy Warhol.

Or you can always just give me...

A Paper Crane!
Not just any paper crane mind you, I want the actual ones Michael Scofield used in Prison Break. And watching CSI has taught me a thing or two about fingerprints and epithelials so don't bother with a replica...

by: Smart J

The Dead Sea Scrolls!
My reasons are monetary... mwahahaha...

Shakespeare's First Folio!
Reading Shakespeare is one thing... Reading Shakespeare and knowing the original copy of Comedies, Histories and Tragedies you're holding is worth $5.1 million is another.

A Marauder's Map!
Although I would want my version to show the entire planet. It's like GPS, without a satellite and all the fancy electronics. (The Seventh HP book was great, no?)

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If you manage to give me any of the previous items, I will not only thank you profusely but I will most probably do an Anchorman Jump!

My blog is growing up so fast... *sob*

P.S. It is also the birthday of CheH, our moderately confused Pinay from Deutschland, this week. Happy Birthday CheH!

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Dental Black?

2007-07-21T23:28:00.001+08:00

I spent about an hour in front of my computer thinking of something... anything... to blog about. A blogging dry spell. Everything I started only lasted a couple of sentences before the backspace button got a "woodpeckering" from my index finger. So, instead of forcing an entry out of my head, I spent two hours making the images that follow.

Why induce a migraine squeezing out a blog idea when one can play...

Wheel...

of...

Blogging Ideas!!!

Pat Sajak: Good Evening everyone! Our defending ~~champion~~ blogger struggling with something to blog about is here tonight hoping to eke an entry. Alternati, please spin the wheel.

Alternati: Thanks Pat. (Bends down and spins the wheel anxiously)... Big money! (clap clap clap)

PS: Watch out for the "Hiatus"...

PS: Quite an icebreaker... Alternati, Weather?

A: The weather here in Baguio has been extraordinarily erratic. An indecisive La Nina is upon us. Mornings are usually bright and sunny... the sun can practically drag any nocturnal out of bed. Noons are excruciatingly hot. By 3 pm, like clockwork, the sky turns gray in a matter of minutes. Fog = Zero visibility, Rain = Zero dry spots on your pants. Mother Nature has gone psychotic.

PS: Indeed she has. Spin it again... (motioning to the wheel)

A: Duh... (gives the wheel a small nudge while muttering "Do I look retarded")

PS: Movies!

A: Thanks Pat, I can read... I did a Woody Allen marathon yesternight.

Appetizer: Play It Again, Sam
A movie inspired by Casablanca. I loved it when Allan Felix (Allen's character) talks to an imaginary Bogart.

Main Course: Manhattan
Every single frame of this movie is art. I have a thing for black and white movies.

Dessert: Mighty Aphrodite
(A rewatch) This one is inspired by the story of Oedipus. One of my favorite elements in this movie is the Greek chorus that does lines between chapters.

Woody Allen's movies never fail to inspire me. The typical themes of insecurity, marriage, divorce and failure are divulged in witty screenplays dripping with subtle humor and in many cases a tablespoon of Diane Keaton.

PS: I guess Mighty Aphrodite was autobiographical, no?

A: Really? ~Oh Pray, do tell~...

PS: You mentioned Oedipus. Wasn't he the Greek character who killed his dad and married his mom?

A: Yeah... (rolling eyes)

PS: Woody Allen and Mia Farrow were an item who adopted Soon-yi. And except for the killing part, Soon-yi did marry Allen... a 35 year age difference...

A: Can I just spin the wheel now?

A: I just started reading a Woody Allen biography I bought from a thrift book store months ago. This one was written by Eric Lax and published in 1992.

PS: Do you have a thing for ancient directors with receding hairlines and thick glasses?

A: Maybe... (gnarling at the emcee)

PS: On that note! A word from our sponsors...

PS: Hahaha! The bunny and the... were... Hahaha...

A: Oh grow up Pat.

PS: Touchy. touchy. *ahem* Please, spin the wheel.

PS: I bet you wouldn't have a hard time with this one huh Alternati?

A: (throws tacky name tag at the emcee)
The wheel disparages me.

PS: Care to elaborate?

A: (creates an "L" with thumb and index finger and places it on forehead)
Care to elaborate? (mocking the emcee's voice)

PS: Nice... very mature. Just spin the wheel.

PS: ... and spin it again...

A: Since we've become such ~Greeaaattt~ friends Pat, can I give a shout out first?

PS: If it can thaw your iciness... go right ahead.

A: (Looks directly at camera 2) Thanks Chase! I just got the snus. I really appreciate it. (Smiles and waves at the camera hoping this show is aired in Bergen)

PS: Awwwww... You are capable of sentiment.

A: I am equally capable of homicide (giving the emcee an icy stare)

PS: Brrrrrrr... Spin the wheel Jadis.

A: A Narnia reference... you are capable of literacy (reaching down to spin the wheel)

PS: Brace yourself audience, (mock whispering) This one can make your ears bleed with talk of TV.

**Recorded audience laughter**

A: (mock whispering) That one can make your ears bleed just by speaking.

**Crickets**

A: Anyhoo... I just started watching Brothers & Sisters and Weeds. And I am obsessing over them already. I'll save them for another post so I won't "bore" (making quotation marks with fingers) you guys.

PS: Awwwww... So considerate. A commercial break!

**Recorded audience applause**

PS: The ad was speaking to you Alternati.

A: Shut up and do what "emcees" (making quotation marks with fingers) are supposed to do.

PS: Welcome back to the Bonus Round! Our category for today... THING. We bring up our usual letters: R, S, T, L, N and E. And Alternati, give us three consonants.

A: C, B and P

PS: ... and one vowel..

A: I

PS: You have 15 seconds to solve the puzzle... go!

A: Pent...
Rent... Rental?
Genital... Genital Black?
Dent... Dental Black... Dental Block?

**Buzzer**

PS: Seriously?!

A: Bite Me...

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Elementary, My Dear Watson

2007-07-15T00:58:00.000+08:00

There is one mystery that is more interesting than UFOs and crop circles. One mystery that has puzzled mankind more than Stonehenge or the Pyramids of Giza. A single mystery that makes Bigfoot a pathetic fur ball, the Abominable Snowman a freezing fur ball, and the Bermuda Triangle a mere polygon. One unexplained phenomena that makes the question "What is the purpose of our existence?" seem trite...

Where do missing socks go?
(Sung ala the cocaine diva)

This enigma is the David Blaine of mysteries. Not that it supposedly lived in an igloo for a week, not that it was supposedly buried alive and not that it supposedly stood on some ginormous pillar for a couple of days. It's an in your face enigma unlike the David Copperfield (the magician) infamy of say the Loch Ness monster.

Art by: SamGaw

Abstract: No matter how cautious you are, a sock (or several socks) will, without an iota of doubt, get lost in laundry translation.

With 20-something years of experience and a handy Google toolbar, several theories have shed some light on the question.

ONE: The Sock Burglar
Not as infamous as the hamburglar. The actual reason for his going all Ocean's 11 12 13 on our socks remains as big a mystery as how and when he performs his "looting". Some say it's a compulsion, others say it's a creepy collection. However, several distinguished missing sock theorists have narrowed the sock thievery down to the possibility of a future human society with socks as currency.

Art by: Method from worth1000

TWO: The Sock Fairy
Not as infamous as the Tooth Fairy. Like the Tooth Fairy, the Sock Fairy enters human residences at night and collects socks... However, unlike the Tooth Fairy, the bastard is insanely cheap.

Art by: amazing cartoonist Chris Appelhans

THREE: Abduction
This is a theory I have been working on. With the recent astronomers' mutiny against Pluto, irate Plutonians have resorted to abducting socks by bulk, transporting them and affixing the knitted footwear to their planets with super glue in the vain hope that an increase in the mass of their "dwarf" planet can make astronomers reconsider their reinstitution into planethood.

Art by: Leanne Wildermuth

FOUR: The Borrowers
Mythical tiny people that borrow things from people. The extremely discreet race was first documented by Mary Norton. They probably use socks as sleeping bags or something.

FIVE: Puppethood
Lamb Chop inspired socks to go to Hollywood or run for office.

Art from: outsidecat

SIX: Washing Machine Vortex
With all that spinning inside the machine, some socks are bound to find a rip in the space-time continuum. Quantum Mechanics (*yawn*) has been used to explain the possibility of this phenomena. Read here (*yawn*) for more... including equations like:
N_t=N₀*exp(-pt) ^(1)
(wtf?)

SEVEN: Evolution
Where is Darwin when I need him...

Photo from: tamara

EIGHT: Animation
"On the eight day, man created socks out of his own image and likeness..."

Art from: Laughing Squid

NINE: Backpacking
"... and once the socks had been given legs and a passport, they traveled to Paris, New York and the Bahamas"

Art by: jaymeekae from worth1000

TEN: Cannibalism
In 9 out of 10 documented cases, only one sock goes missing. Sociologists have often theorized that socks are cannibalistic by nature. In every sock pairing, one is considered "dominant". Ergo, while in a hamper or while spinning inside a dryer, the dominant sock devours it's partner similar to a praying mantis after mating.

ELEVEN: Evaporation
It is a little known fact that socks evaporate. And once every 3.1415 years, they come back in the form of precipitation.

Art by: Randy Glasbergen

TWELVE: Like Homework...
"My dog ate it"

Art from: HeatherPreuss

THIRTEEN: Private Investigation
Missing socks need to be found, and the sock community has long been fed up by the futility of the human race. They have decided to put matters into their own hands. The emergence of Sock P.I.'s like Terrence M. Cotton has brought renewed hope in finding the missing socks.

Art by: The Lady from Sockholm
(One of the funniest sock related sites I've seen)

"Never put a sock in a toaster."
- Eddie Izzard -

~FIN~

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Baby Steps

2007-07-10T22:51:00.000+08:00

In an effort to gradually reintroduce blogging into my routine... I am taking it easy.

Step One: Answering a Meme.

15 of my Idiosyncrasies

I was tagged by Carey, a blogger with ideas in pink. "I" is easily the easiest topic to blog about. Baby steps... and it's fun to indulge every now and then (as wonderfully depicted by Michaelangelo) in a little...

1. I can't help myself from attaching images in my blog entries. (Case and point, Narcissus above) The visual aids aren't always entirely vital, but they do make things purtier...

2. I need to answer my daily Yahoo! crossword. (Notice my verb use) I am pretty good at it but I cheat in the impossible Sunday editions.

3. I have a frighteningly organized MP3s folder. I have an even more frighteningly organized folder of digital photographs.

4. I can read books upside down (and do so just for the helluvit) That is as long as it is written in a non-italized simple font like Arial or Times New Roman.

5. I am irked by words that have been "tagalogized". I do not mind written or verbal Taglish (Tagaolg+English), heck I am fully pledged endorser of the language hybrid. However, being visually raped by words like "teks" (text), "kyut" (cute) and "dyip" (jeep) can make me climb the nearest high-rise and plummet to my nan-eksistens (non-existence).

6. I am almost always late. There is Filipino time... and there is Alternati time.

7. (aka 6.a) I never wear a watch. I feel like being cuffed to time. I do own a chained timepiece that permanently reads 3 o'clock.

8. I keep "memory shoe-boxes". Mementos range from a Turin shroud old "Most Creative" bookmark my kindergarten teacher gave me to wine corks and shot glasses.

9. I know it's extremely inane, but words like "pianist" (properly pronounced) and "angina" make me mentally giggle.

10. I, like Ernie, like rubber duckies... and I, unlike Bert, dislike pigeons.

11. I personally believe ketchup is a major food group.

12. I collect Playboy bags. Okay, so two doesn't necessarily comprise a "collection" but I plan to increase my supposed collection. The obsession isn't because of anything Hugh Hefner or Anna Nicole Smith (God bless her soul) related. While some people go gaga over the interlaced "L" and "V" logo of affluence, I am drawn to the bunny.

13. I have triskaidekamania.

14. My greatest pet peeve is being asked "Anong balita?". I can't clearly translate it to english... literally it is "News?" or something to that effect. It's somewhere between "How are you doing?" and "Give me a 5 minute long summary of every single thing that has happened in your life since the last time we met". On a good day, I would humor the inquirer. On an extremely horrid day, I sass with a snappish "Last time I checked I am not a news anchor" or a withdrawn and predictable "Nothing much, You?" to turn the tables. I don't particularly enjoy giving a summarized autobiography via SMS or instant message.

15. I have a thing for riddles and mind games. Here's a really cool one I just finished last weekend.

Click here.

Whew! another blog post...
One small step for man, One giant baby step for Alternati.

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Sweeping Virtual Cobwebs

2007-07-08T22:58:00.000+08:00

I ran my index finger across my blog. It left a horizontal line with inch thick settled dust on both sides... gray dust clung to the tip of my finger. It made my prints barely visible. I glanced across the blog, the blinking red light of my answering machine caught my eye. I pressed the button just above the light and a robotic voice announced "You have 43 unanswered comments". I was startled from my thoughts by a rat that crept nonchalantly on my right sidebar. It started gnawing my "June 2007" archives. I clutched my mouse and with Babe Ruth precision, flung it at the disgusting creature. The mouse flew in a perfect arced trajectory. A sharp twang resonated as my mouse's cord reached it's full length. I acted on impulse and it never occurred to me to unplug it from my USB. The mouse recoiled and hit me on the shin as the rat scurried into a hole just beside the Google toolbar. The impact of the mouse on my shin made me stumble backwards, flailing my arms as I crashed helplessly on mildewed boxes of failed blog entry ideas. Although both my shin and my back were throbbing from my fall, the pain never registered on my brain... all my neurons were used up by my eyes as they stared upward to my banner... or what's left of my banner. Cobwebs have covered most of it up. I reach of my virtual broom and start sweeping.

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Sorry for that paragraph long metaphor. I guess blogging isn't like riding a bike. I must've tried a million different ways to start this entry. I tried several versions of a staple highschool homework inspired "What I did on my Summer Blogging Vacation"...

One went:
777 (July 7, 2007) is a monumental date. It won't happen again for another 70 years. I spent half the day in the Induction of Officers of my professional organization and the other half at the office training in a new 3d software the company was integrating... (backspace, backspace, backspace...)

Another went:
So, work has been... (backspace, backspace, backspace...)

I guess any blog entry involving work-related stuff made me cringe, spontaneously combust and hit the backspace key like a manic psychopath with a woodpecker for an index finger.

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I missed blogging. I missed sitting in front of my laptop with a cup of brewed coffee and an ashtray on my left, my ~~baseball~~... ~~rat deterrent~~... mouse on my right. Happily typing away my thoughts during the day and reading other bloggers' thoughts during the day. Reading comments and commenting. My forced hiatus made me make a mental list of the reasons why I like blogging:

1. It is therapeutic.
2. It helps you to purge thoughts. It is a productive way of releasing anxiety, glee, anger, wrath, etc. aka a saner version of "looking at the sky, beating your chest and screaming at the top of your lungs".
3. It is extremely enlightening and enriching because it gives you backstage passes into the brains of relatively anonymous people. Where else can you read the thoughts of a journalists, TV writers, people living abroad, filipinos living abroad, medical students, teenagers, moms, dads, single women, single men, tennis fanatics, TV buffs, and every other unique individual in between you would otherwise never get to know on a daily/ bi-weekly basis?
4. It is a global database of bloggers' thoughts, memories and rants.
5. It keeps you informed about current events... anything from the trivial to the momentous.
6. It sort of chronicles your life or at least thoughts about your life.
7. It is never boring.

Absence does make the heart grow fonder.

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I have yet to get my blogging mojo back... But one thing's for sure, I am (please, please forgive me for this Take That reference) Back for Good.

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We interrupt this show for a special update...

2007-07-01T21:23:00.001+08:00

(Technically, there is nothing here to interrupt...)

Yes, I am still alive and relatively well. Work and personal stuff have been keeping me from blogging, I miss my weekly (sometimes twice ((even thrice!)) a week) dose of blog reads.

We will return to our regular telecast the coming weekend.

For the mean time, let us all sing...

"Makulay! Ang buhay... sa sinabawang gulay"
(Life is colorful... with vegetable broth)

Things aren't as funny when translated...

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13 Fathers' Day Gift Ideas

2007-06-16T01:00:00.000+08:00

(This post, like a woman reaching for a pregnancy test, is 3 days late)

I am always seriously flummoxed when it comes to giving my dad a gift. Hypercritical gift picking can be a pain. There is a nagging voice in my head that constantly says things like... "You gave him that three birthdays ago", "Sure... he can use ANOTHER (insert typical fathers' day gift here)", "A shirt in that color? Seriously?".

I believe it is generally harder to think of a gift for a male recipient. This may be because a greater percentage of all advertising and marketing is focused on a female demographic. One can simply drop by a Bodyshop (against animal testing) or a bookstore or any department store, and the matter of picking a gift becomes a problem of picking which one?

Giving a "masculine" gift is a painstaking task, giving a gift to one's dad may be easy at first, but once the "possible gifts for Dad" list runs out (and it will), the endeavor becomes near impossible.

I've been contemplating what to give my dad, and as always, I turn to TV for ideas.

If my dad was:
Homer Simpson
The Simpsons

...there'd probably be no problem at all. Think "anything edible" and it'll please this lovable white collar "d'oh!"-ing dad.

#1 Gift: Doughnuts!

Runners-up:
Duff beer, that hair grower on the cable shopping network, an electric shaver, collared shirts in technicolor, gift certificate for anger management classes, a gift certificate from West Coast Customs for a "pimped" car, a Bart tether so he can strangle Bart without getting calluses... all he gotta do is say "Why you little..."

If my dad was:
Keith Mars
Veronica Mars

...there'd probably be no problem at all. Think "007" and it'll please this witty, street smart, a little bit overprotective dad.

#1 Gift: An Aston Martin!

Runners-up:
A Batman utility belt, that hair grower on the cable shopping network, one year GPS subscription to track offspring, a certified private eye trench coat, the file cabinet I won 7 or so posts ago, an original copy of The Maltese Falcon, a lifetime supply of fountain pens with bugs.

If my dad was:
Jack Bristow
Alias

...there'd probably be no problem at all. Think "anything non-Rimbaldi" and it'll please this emotionally retarded but extremely endearing dad

#1 Gift: An Office Building half the size of the Pentagon!

Runners-up:
More black suits, more ties to go with the black suits, a grand piano, a lifetime supply of multi-aliased passports, yoga classes, a torture chamber, a cabbage patch kid, a psychologist (preferably Tracy from Ally Mcbeal)

If my dad was:
Frank Barone
Everybody Loves Raymond

...there'd probably be no problem at all. Think "republican" and it'll please this crass yet at time surprisingly sweet dad.

#1 Gift: A Carribean Vacation (without Marie)

Runners-up:
Vinyl jazz records, a turntable to play them, plaid shirts, an EZ chair, a TV (showing only sports) for his bedroom, a mini-fridge with mini-alcohol similar to those you see in a hotel,

If my dad was:
Darth Vader
Star Wars

...there'd probably be no problem at all. Think "cosmic destruction" and it'll please this patent leather clad, James Earl Jones-voiced dad

#1 Gift: A Synthetic right hand!

Runners-up:
Another death star, a yellow light saber (yellow looks good against black), a voice modulator with a range from a sexy low Barry White singing voice to a high Karen Walker shriek, ewok stew, roasted ewok, adobong ewok, etc.

If my dad was:
Michael Bluth
Arrested Development

(I'd probably shake him to reality first... why oh why would you name your son George Michael?! anywho...)
...there'd probably be no problem at all. Think "anything away from the other Bluths" and it'll please this responsible yet often insanely oblivious dad.

#1 Gift: A Banana-Stand business

Runners-up:
Two one-way plane tickets to Timbuktu, massive amounts of therapy, a vehicle with stairs used for airplanes.

If my dad was:
Hal Wilkerson
Malcolm in the Middle

...there'd probably be no problem at all. Think "what would a five year old love" and it'll please this uniquely kooky dad.

#1 Gift: An Asphalt Roller!

Runners-up:
A better job, pancakes, an Xbox, Marvel comic books, all the materials and machinery he needs to make his dream "killer robot", a plasma TV with all the channels in the entire known universe, a bedroom jacuzzi.

If my dad was:
Atticus Finch
To Kill a Mockingbird

...there'd probably be no problem at all. Think "just and honorable" and it'll please my favorite father from literature.

#1 Gift: The Chance to witness the Emancipation

Runners-up:
A state of the art hunting rifle, a lifetime babysitting service (no offense to Calpurnia), A kick-ass attache case (or whatever it was lawyers put their papers in in the 1930's) A sanctuary for mockingbirds (Blue jays optional)

If my dad was:
Marlin
Finding Nemo

...there'd probably be no problem at all. Think "marine" and it'll please this overprotective clownfish dad.

#1 Gift: Sea Anemone!

Runners-up:
Opposable thumbs, a deluxe condo unit on prime soft coral real estate, a death sentence on all electric eels, a death sentence on all jellyfish, a death sentence on all sea gulls that say "mine, mine, mine", a no-fish policy on all dentist nieces.

If my dad was:
Mr. (Noah) Bennet
Heroes

...there'd probably be no problem at all (well I wouldn't be too fond of him). Think "Save the Cheerleader" and it'll please this cleft chinned adoptive dad.

#1 Gift: More Horn-Rimmed Glasses!

Runners-up:
A sense of humor, his own Primatech Paper Company franchise, his own supernatural power like say the ability to get away with wearing horn-rimmed glasses!

If my dad was:
Martin Crane
Frasier

...there'd probably be no problem at all. Think "no psychiatry" and it'll please this wise and down-to-earth dad.

#1 Gift: A titanium cane!

Runners-up:
Ballantine beer, A personal veterinarian for his dog Eddie, action movie DVDs of the Van Damme (ullk) and Steven Seagal (double ullk) variety. And never, ever, ever even entertain the slightest thought of replacing his favorite old recliner.

If my dad was:
Tony Soprano
The Sopranos

...there'd probably be no problem at all (Ok I'd be scared shitless). Think "Vito Corleone" and it'll please this really complex dad.

#1 Gift: Resurrecting Pie-O-My

Runners-up:
Confidentiality of his therapy sessions (offense means death by body of water and huge rock tied to ankles), A Pink Floyd version of Alabama 3's "Woke up this Morning", a DVD box set of all war documentaries ever made, A dream catcher.

If my dad was:
Jim's Dad
American Pie

...there'd probably be no problem at all. Think "home made apple pie" and it'll please this geeky but nonetheless lovable dad.

#1 Gift: A "Birds and the Bees" Guidebook

Runners-up:
A head to toe makeover by Steven Cojocaru, an eyebrow tweezing, A date with Stifler's mom.

I am still no closer to a gift for my dad. *sigh*, All this gift thinking for fictional dads only left me frazzled. Oh well...

Happy Fathers' Day to all Dads!

Mine is the best!
...hence, my obsession over the perfect gift.

All You Gotta Do Is Ask...

2007-06-11T16:42:00.000+08:00

Last Saturday, I had a fantabulous night with three of my closest college friends. It was a post-birthday celebration of sorts. It was our version of a typical Sex and the City coffee shop scene... we weren't as thin and hair-perfect as Carrie, Charlotte, Samantha and Miranda, we were nonetheless as chatty and animated as they were. Between the blues and "blue moons", douchebag exes and current trysts, the joys of motherhood and the joys of singlehood, the reminiscence of past outings and the planning of future ones... it was as if none of us were twenty-friggin-something.

H.G. Wells had his time machine... I have my Teejay, my Fio and my Ems.

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I saw this interesting meme on Ann's blog Fighting Gravity. A meme you ask for.

What's the most daring/interesting thing you've done (and are willing to divulge)?

I stole my first Van Gogh when I was 4. I published my first book "Lite years" when I was 5. Many found astrophysics coming from a five year old pretty ludicrous, but my book found readers. I won my first Olympic bronze medal for canoeing when I was 9 and a gold for the same event when I was 13. I stole my second (and final) Van Gogh when I was 15. I joined the Peace Corps soon after and resided in Sierra Leone for 6 years. Through some twist of fate, I found myself involved in the restoration and preservation of the marbled walls of Duomo di Milano. This is where I found my calling. I am now Donatella's personal dog walker.

My actual life is pretty bland. Between work and jet-setting, I am a normal run-o-the-mill homo sapien. I have dared to do some insane things for an acrophobic like rappelling and riding that Enchanted Kingdom seatbelt-less ferris wheel which seemed like it was gonna topple over and roll toward the plains because of the winds from the lake. But by far, this was the most daring thing I've done of the extreme-sports-ish-slash-carnival-ride variety...

Seven friends and I wrote that darn ride named "Maximum Sensation" until our insides were inverted.

As for daring in the Samantha Jones sense, I have yet to join a buck naked anti-fur protest. As for interesting... I have yet to stage a coup.

What's the story behind your header?

During my bum days post-college, I went through a kitschy, pop-art-ish phase. Given the free time then and a need to waste it on something, I covered a wall in my room with folded squares of magazine pages.

That was my attempt at creating "order in chaos". The phrase was a second choice for my blog's name because it pretty much describes my brain and my life. Making the banner on Photoshop was a whooole lot easier though than the first time I voodooed my wall with tacks. The banner contains partial images of things I love; my niece, my nephew, Chris Martin, Mr. Law, the Mavs, rubber ducks, Daria, places I've been to, album covers of artists... etc.

What do you think is your contribution to the rest of humanity?

Biologically, I believe how my body, and everyone else's, converts oxygen to carbon dioxide is my most relevant contibution. Being a part of the carbon cycle makes me feel relevant in maintaining balance in the global carbon budget.

Truthfully, I think I am a pretty selfish person who takes more from humanity (whining in the process) than I contribute (also whining in the process). I wanna, but I'm a whina.

The mere notion of comparing myself with significant people who have actually done something for humanity is just downright pretentious, but I'll do it anyway. Apple-munching Newton discovered gravity, bearded Darwin studied evolution, the perv Freud developed psychoanalysis. Lennon influenced the world with his music, Picasso with his paintings, Shakespeare with his writing, Scorsese with his movies, etc. etc.

In all fairness to us living in the twenty first century, everything worth discovering and not requiring a degree in rocket science has already been discovered. And, nearly everything has been invented, sung, painted, written and put to the silver screen already. Plus, the amount of work the great people of our past has done would be enough to entertain us and keep us busy for two earthly lifetimes.

My preemptive response to "it's the small things we contribute that matter" is yeah, there is consolation in that. I contribute to the population of pigs and cows by not devouring them. I contribute to the database of the net by blogging. I contribute to the fight against multi-million dollar company monopolies by supporting Jack Sparrows. I contribute to the betterment of Philippine cinema by not watching any of the crap they currently dish out. I contribute to the global warming movement by being scared to drive a car. The small things.

I can't help but beat myself up every now and then though, for not contributing something that really matters. Perhaps I can create a perpetual motion machine or discover the missing link or something. Some things aren't entirely ridiculous.

What do you like best about yourself?

The hollow below my neck. (Ok, I totally ripped that off The English Patient) I'll stay away from anything physical and say, my resolve to never fully "grow up". Peter Pan syndrometer goes off the charts. I am anything BUT naive and I'm 95% jaded (ask my physician) There is a repressed but influential 5% of me though where unicorns and purty butterflies roam freely.

But then again, I am one of the most likeable people in the world, no? I know you guys love me.

What do you plan to achieve in the next five years?

*Passes out*... I'd be 30+ by then... *passes out again*... a whiff of NH3.

I am not much of a planner. Dead Poets' Society had that effect on me. Carpe diem!
If I am however forced to think of it at gunpoint, I'd probably say:

Total independence via geographic means
A mind-blowing job
Mastery of german, french and japanese
The metabolism of a five year old
Understanding the theory of relativity
to name a few...

If you're interested to let me put you on the hot seat...

The Interview rules:

Leave me a comment saying “Interview me.”
I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

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It's Independence Day tomorrow (technically) I know it should be a time to be proud of our quasi-independence... but I can't help feeling paranoid to discover a humongous disc like UFO in the sky over some landmarks.

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Tantalizing...

2007-06-05T23:05:00.000+08:00

I know how Tantalus felt.

He, Tantalus, was a king in Greek mythology. In an Abraham like twist of fate, he offered his son to the gods. But unlike the biblical patriarch, no angel appeared to stop him... plus, his human sacrifice was premeditated, and that small detail that he served his son in a feast. The gods were apparently appalled by parricide and cannibalism. The boy was resurrected by Fate, the goddess, piecing his chopped body parts together like lego. Tantalus was punished.

He was made to stand for all eternity in a pool of water that reached up to his neck. Whenever he bent down to drink the water, it would recede from his mouth's reach like a sadistic automated low tide. There are also fruit trees above him. Everytime he reached up to grab the fruit, the branches would raise them away from his grasp... like sadistic ents. That was his hell, temptation without satisfaction.

Although I find this method of weight reduction tantalizing (pun 100% intended), satisfaction is something I thrive on.

I am not a fan of Hannibal Lecter-ism and I am anti- of any form of -cide (homicide, genocide, insecticide) Plus I don't ever recall stealing ambrosia from the gods.

Yet, I find myself, more and more so lately, in Tantalus' water soaked shoes. I am swimming in a pool of letter sized papers filled ad nauseam with plans, specifications, details, comments, etc. etc. et cetera. The temptations that are within reach yet unreachable are free time and 8 hours of sleep.

While working on CAD drawings, the other half on my brain is busily doing three things simultaneously; planning ways to acquire the elusive free time, planning ways to spend it, and consoling itself that it will come sooner or later.

The Devil Wears Prada lies bookmarked, 3 quarters of the way, on my bedside table. Andy, when I left her, was flirting with the delectable Christian Colinsworth (who I've visualized as a more put together version of Ben Covington from Felicity) The book lacks the New York like pace of the movie, and the book version of Miranda Priestly comes out a tad too whiny compared to the regal bitch Meryl Streep played to utter perfection. Getting sidetracked here... My point... I left, and can't wait to return to, all the drama of Runway on my bedside table. I want free time!!! Arrrrrgggghhhhhhhh!!!!!

I want free time in a box.
I want free time with a fox.
I want free time in a house.
I want free time with a mouse.
I want free time here or there.
I want free time anywhere.
I want free green eggs and ham.
I want free time, Altenati-I-am.

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Something I'm ecstatic to share...
I've blogged about the Tim Tang Test and last Friday I found some free time and spent it riddling. Check this out. Alas, It shows my initials and my last name, but heck it's soooo worth it. hehe

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Thanks to all who sent me greetings last week. It was much appreciated. :)

Image from gapingvoid.com

That was meant to be funny. :P

I really mean it.

Thanks.

Twenty-friggin-something

2007-05-31T00:00:00.000+08:00

I've been playing Parachutes and Twentysomething all night. Coldplay has always been my melancholy soundtrack, and Jamie Cullum... my crooner.

My 364 days of unbirthdays are over... they all seem short and useless when THAT day arrives. I always get this mixed feeling on the eve of my birthday (Gawd! just ~~saying~~ typing that out loud makes me cringe) I simultaneously feel like a child on Christmas morning and a schizophrenic awaiting electroshock therapy. I could never pinpoint the cause of this antsy anticipation because I really dread each +1 candle cake. An anticipation for time travel? for oblivious bliss? for my own Aston Martin?

I love those short tapered wax candles. Each supposedly represents a year of your life... irrelevant and burned into nothingness in a few minutes. They represent a year lost... a year where I should've read more books, a year where I would've seen the eerie monoliths of Easter Island, a year where I could've done this, could've done that... Shoulda Woulda Coulda Barracuda...

I love the cake. That beautifully crafted confection that goes straight to your thighs... that chocolate filled temptation with the scrumptilicious frosting and your name in icing you cut up into slices... that sweet, sweet reminder that you don't have the same metabolism "x" years ago.

I love that song. That happy happy four worded song that really drills the message "you ain't getting any younger" right into your right ventricle... that song which everybody knows, everybody claims to own, and everybody apparently commits a copyright infringement crime with whenever they sing it... that step above "for he's a jolly good fellow" that always necessitates your widest, most pseudo-genuine smile after it is sung to you and before you almost die of respiratory arrest from blowing out the candles.

I love the expectation to be "happy" and to feel "special". This is after all a "happy birthday"... just as "theory" always has "conspiracy" tagging along with it, "birthday" is lonesome without "happy". I love the wholehearted attempt to really be happy that often ends with either a migraine or an aneurysm. I love teeth... I love dimples... I love crow's feet... I love smile lines... I love straining the muscles n my face.

I love Brooke Shields and how she bashed Tom Cruise's skewed views on prescription drugs. I love Clint Eastwood and how he committed euthanasia on a Million Dollar Baby. I love Chris Elliot's obsession induced rashes on There's Something About Mary. I love Colin Farrell, just for being Irish. I may not know them personally, but we share a bond in birth.

I love (and I say this without an iota of sarcasm) my family and friends. They make this day bearable, sometimes even... dare I say it... may I not be struck by lightning... happy.

For the love of all things sacred... Don't Sing me that Song... or if you do, sing me a "Sometimes Happy (But Never Required To Be) Birthday To You"...

I'll be normal in June... well... like happy, normal is a relative term.

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What Have I Got In My Pocket?

2007-05-28T22:12:00.000+08:00

Cue flashback music.

For as long as I can remember, I've always had an ardent interest in riddles. The first riddles, or semblance of riddles, ever presented to me came in the form of an IQ test. My parents were in the process of enrolling me in kindergarten. A couple of grey habited nuns led me and a dozen other kids into a library whose shelves have been moved to the walls to accomodate a grid of desks and chairs. Each desk had a long white folder and a #2 Mongol pencil. We were instructed to sit, open the folders and answer sheets of mimeograph paper with symbols on them. The questions were in the "What figure comes next" format and, although I didn't know then, they are supposed to measure mental capabilities like logic, spatial analysis, etc. I finished the test in record time. I dunno what my scores were then, but I got in to kindergarten.

I've always felt my brain is tweaked, like my mom dropped me when I was an infant or something. I can commit a grade school friend's phone number to memory and still write it down now even if that friend has moved abroad and the line has been disconnected. I can absorb useless trivia and totally irrelevant information. I can generally grasp concepts easily. But for some obscure reason, I can't remember if a friend who I visit frequently lives in "old site" or "new site". I can't memorize which of the pin or the amount comes first when you pass cellphone load.

In highschool, I met and became close with relatives from planet Nerdnia. It was a real comfort... not to know that I wasn't mentally imbalanced, but to know that many are mentally imbalanced as well. ( :P )

Anyways... stop the flashback music.

I stumbled upon Notpron when I was random bloghopping. I haven't encountered anything resembling it online. It is an online riddle created by a smart (and I must add, cute) german named David Muennich. It basically presents you with a picture and some overt and hidden clues testing your skills in ciphering, logic, math, chemistry, music, programming, image manipulation, etc (and by etc, I mean your knowledge of german chocolate brands can also be tested... hehe) The aim is to get a password that you place in the URL which allows you to go to the next level. It can get extremely difficult especially in the later levels but it is also extremely addictive. I finished all the positive 86 levels and got as far as 34 in the minus levels (with the aid of help forums!), I haven't finished it cause the author decided to make players pay to play (rhyme?) the final levels... which I think sucks.

The current online riddle I'm working on is the Tim Tang Test. The creator of the riddle is Tim Nicolas Tang. He is intelligent, uber friendly, and can be the most annoying person in the world when he responds to your queries about a level with more cryptic answers. It takes on the format of Notpron, a pioneer of this type of game, but riddles of the TTT are usually more logical and more interesting.

I am now on level 89 and eternally stuck! It is a level on music... I love listening to music, but I haven't the slightest idea about it's technical side... well until now that is. This puzzle makes you read up on things you wouldn't even consider picking up in a book store. I have learned a thing or two about astronomy and computer programming because of some of its levels.

If interested you can start here. I must warn you however that there is a high risk of losing sleep and losing a chunk of your sanity. If you do wish to undertake the riddle, do not look for spoilers because as their name implies, it spoils the whole riddling experience. Tim however has set up a TTT account on Facebook with a forum for the discussion of these riddles when you're stuck. You can access it here, but I think you need to create an account before you can join the discussions. I am currently the PM Officer for levels 43-49. So if you ever get that far I'd be able to dish out hints.

The picture is of a tesseract I made in one of the Notpron levels. I know the craftsmanship is horrid but I did solve that level with that. hehehe

The title is the riddle of Bilbo Baggins which allowed him to "win" the One Ring from Gollum.

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It Ain't Over 'Til...

2007-05-26T13:21:00.000+08:00

It has been an extremely busy work week. Between designing and drafting plans, going through a ream thick set of mark-ups and task designation, I am finding less and less free time. The work has slowly crept into my nights and my weekends practically displacing a chunk of my nocturnal outings and my time online. I won't mind working for hours on end on a project that both challenges me and is close to my design philosophies... The current major project I am handling IS challenging but I find myself totally against the designs of some of the senior architects. This makes the work twice as tedious and half as enjoyable. Whine... I am so in need of a glass (without the "h") right about now.

She has been Singing a lot Lately...

Art from: Paper, Pencil, Pixels

I Believe HE can Fly

I liked the Heroes finale. I give it a 6 out of 10. It wasn't over the top, which is good. Many producers seem to think that the only way to do a memorable final is through explosions and car chases. The understated end to the show's first season (or should I say volume) showed enough for it to keep you glued to your screens but not too much for it to become totally ludicrous. That has always been the reason for my attraction to the show. It keep things real, in a they-don't-wear-leotards, have back stories and fairly relatable lives, kind of way. I would have given it a higher rating if they could explain why Peter Petrelli didn't just fly by himself? (I tried to say that as cryptic as I can to prevent spoilers) Explain that to me Heroes writers? The first season as a whole I give a 7 out of 10. Although the story line isn't really original, it has enough oomf to last a couple more seasons, plus I love the fact that they recognize the fact that they have taken a lot of their inspiration from Marvel, evident in many Hiro and Ando allusions and in the Stan Lee, bus driver cameo. And what really irks me about the show is the pacing. The first 10 episodes were the best written part of the season, after that, you get only a few great episodes scattered between slow and generally inconsequential ones. Tim Kring can learn a thing or two from JJ Abrams.

Heartbreak Hospital

The Grey's Anatomy Season 3 finale was classic. Like both previous GA finales, heartbreak and failure are the palpable themes. The first season ended with: "I'm so sorry, Meredith"/ welcome to the dirty mistress club. The second season's finale, which I personally find to be the most depressing finale ever orchestrated by any TV show ever, was an Izzie rollercoaster (the writers made sure we rode that rollercoaster too) and Meredith love Bermuda triangle. The finale of the third season focused more on Christina, George and Dr. Webber. (Details stop there, I can't ruin it for other fans of the show) However, I just HAVE to say that Christina Yang saying "I'm free" when she did, was priceless. I love it.

One of the great things about the show is their choice of soundtrack music. They have made popular then-upcoming bands like Snow Patrol (Chasing Cars) and The Fray (How to Save a Life) I've also discovered other amazing artists in their OSTs like Ivy (Edge of the Ocean) and Psapp (Cosy in the Rocket - the GA theme) The only other show I could think of that put this value on soundtracks was Ally Mcbeal (anyone up for a Barry White montage?)

Trivia: Did you know every episode of Grey's Anatomy is a song title? Below are the episode title of the three finales.

Season 1: Who's Zoomin' Who? - Aretha Franklin
Season 2: Losing My Religion - REM
Season 3: Didn't We Almost Had It All? - Whitney Houston

Six More...

LOST Season 3's Greatest Hits is the finale that I have really been anticipating. It is, in my opinion, the best written show on TV today.

Veronica Mars will end soon, and like most members if its cult following (like moi and Talamasca), we are bummed that the show, as a whole, got 86-ed... nixed.

Project Runway 3 finale airs next week on local cable. THAT's how delayed some shows here are. I know who the winner is, but I can't wait to see them on the runway.

The Amazing Race 10 final was meh... anti-climactic for an all-star season. I am ecstatic however, that them beauty queens didn't win.

Yau Man should have won Survivor: Fiji, that Dreamz character was so naive. He has created his own niche of naivete that is defined by hilarity.

I have yet to catch a replay of the American Idol 6 Finale. THAT's how busy I was this week.

~ Fin ~

Me- Ma- Mi-Mo-Muu

2007-05-17T21:06:00.000+08:00

Me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me-me

I am so bummed Melinda didn't make it to the American Idol finale. (Insert "but she was the obvious favorite from the onset" and "this is still a singing competition... right?" cliches here) I guess the shock value of Jordin's being 17 (really? she's 17? ahhh shut up, they've been emphasizing that ad nauseam) and the "oh, he's so original" beatboxing antics of Blake outweighed actual gritty talent. Both finalists are good (even great), but I just find not having Melinda there utterly idiotic.

Oh well... I find comfort in the Chris Daughtrys (ies?), Jennifer Hudsons and Clay Gaykens of the "I sold more albums than my winning counterpart" club. I wonder if Melinda's Death Cheater shirt was a message of some sort.

Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma

That new Maroon 5 song they performed on tonight's elimination has been on my MP3 player for over a month now. And I've gone gaga over its fabulous and ultra-chic video... They should build a shrine for Adam Levine's eyebrows... and have to admit I'm a developing a thing for the substitute drummer... Matt Flynn...

I have a thing for drummers in general... they just have a certain je ne sais quois whenever they strike them tomtoms and cymbals. (Actual drummer Ryan Desick is recovering from some shoulder problems)

Maroon 5 - Makes Me Wonder

I am listening to the music like crazy cause when it gets as big as Maroon 5's other singles and everyone starts singing it in public, it becomes lame.

"I still don't have the reason... and you don't have the time..." (yeah baby)

Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi

First of all, I TOO wanted to be like Grace Kelly. I've always believed I was some obscure monarch from Monaco. I just had to get that off my chest.

I love Mika.

He has such a great voice reminiscent of Freddie Mercury and he is the ultimate falsettist, he can make Prince and that Robin Thicke newcomer ponder going all Farinelli Il Castrato just to contend with Mika. His musical style is very much like Beck... eclectic, idiosynchratic, experimental. Most of his songs are sarcastically perky (even campy) and very fitting to his debut album Life in Cartoon Motion... these include his first single Grace Kelly which basically delves into the notion of changing oneself to fit the mold of the popular idea of popular.

Gotta love the psychedelic album art, done by Dawack, Mika's sis.

With lyrics like "I tried to be like Grace Kelly, but all her looks were too sad. So I tried a little Freddie, I've gone identity mad". This single is pretty much what triggered his international career and widespread rumors about his sexuality. My gaydar does go crazy when I see him, but he refuses to confirm or deny the rumors (ala Clay Gayken), which I respect, everyone entitled to hisher privacy. It is suicide to do so early in his career. The animated/ shake-your-groove-thing side of his music is also evident in other tracks like Lollipop, Love Today, Billy Brown (which sounds like an 80's sitcom jingle) and Big Girl (You are Beautiful) - a personal fave. He is equally great in his other tracks which are more mellow... I could describe it as music DeVotchka might have done in collaboration with Queen... but that would only be partially accurate.

Mo-mo-mo-mo-mo-mo-mo-mo-mo

This is an Italian manufacturer of steering wheels. I have as much knowledge about car parts as I do the mating habits of european tree frogs... I just saw such a steering wheel in a friend's car.

Mu-mu-mu-mu-mu-mu-mu-muu-muu

Remember that episode when Homer decidedly gained weight in order to qualify for disability and in so doing be able to work at home?

Homer in a floral muumuu.

I am so feeling like Homer like now. Burn-out! I wonder if there are any muumuu franchises in the country...

(I have to admit that the mo- and mu- parts are lame... I just felt the compulsion to complete the M+vowel list)

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13 On-Screen Matriarchs

2007-05-13T02:14:00.000+08:00

The Abominable Snowman, Bigfoot, The Lochness Monster... these creatures are bland and unimaginative compared to that mysterious creature we've all come to know the moment we aren't in utero, held by our ankles and spanked like a fraternity initiate... our mothers. These lactating bipeds, who are also called "mama"s or "mom"s, have built-in inflatable incubators that allow us to grow from seed to weird black and white shapes on an ultrasound. Their mystery lies, based on initial studies, on their volatile and unpredicatable nature. Offspring, the author included, both adore the ground their mothers walk on AND simultaneously blame her for most of the things happening in one's life.

Studies have always been inconclusive... the species evolves quite rapidly and has undergone incalculable metamorphoses that candidates in random samplings are often too different from each other.

However, several common traits have proven useful in our studies:

Test Subject 01: Lois Wilkerson
Known Aliases: Jane Kaczmarek
Last Seen: Malcolm in the Middle

Every mom seems to have tendencies to control offspring via manipulation and will almost always win every single argument with either of the following:
1. cunning and inconspicuous reverse psychology
2. bargaining or blackmail
3. a cold shoulder
4. temporary sweetness and concern
5. sheer brute force
6. a threat to destroy the TV with a baseball bat

Test Subject 02: Lorelai Gilmore
Known Aliases: Lauren Graham
Last Seen: Gilmore Girls

Every mom's survival is dependent on coffee. It has also been found out that mom's are capable of amazing repartee but is totally relient on the speaking companion and/or the skills of a certain Amy-Sherman Palladino. It is interesting to note that mothers share the same volatile relationship with their own mothers, known to offspring as "grandmother". They tend to regress to their rebellious and snappy nature when confronted by grandmothers. Ironically, most grandmother-grandchildren relationships are normal, in most cases even loving. Ergo, normal blood relations skip a generation.

Test Subject 03: Marge Simpson (nee Bouvier)
Known Aliases: Julie Kavner
Last Seen: The Simpsons

Every mom has perfected the art of nagging. They can control the amount of nagging they emit. It can be a simple but extremely difficult to master hoarse "mmmm" or an all out list of things you should do and when you should have done it. Most moms, when they reach a certain age, grab the blue dye. Mrs. Simpson has survived an adulthood wearing the same green dress and red faux pearl necklace.

Test Subject 04: Kitty Forman
Known Aliases: Debra Jo Rupp
Last Seen: That 70's Show

Every mom has the need to nurture. Most mothers dread the day when their offspring "leave the nest". Ironically, it is sometimes that overnurturing which hastens the coming of that day... and has mentally linked mothering with smothering. Some moms are skilled at faking cheerfulness and are skilled in appeasing the oddest and most awkward of situations, often done with a perky laugh. Also, it has been found out that most moms regret a hairdo they had in an earlier time of their life.

Test Subject 05: Catherine Willows
Known Aliases: Muggs, Marg Helgenberger
Last Seen: CSI

Every mom feels like they don't know their offpsring when they reach that hair-growing-in-the-neither-regions, hormonal stage of life known as "teenhood". Reactions of mom's with the discovery of "relics of growing up" (i.e. cigarettes, condoms, pornography) vary widely from denial to confrontation. Mothers are amazingly resilient creatures. They can juggle raising a child, dating, and catching serial killers... and still having shiny, bouncy Vidal Sassoon hair. It might be extremely difficult for children who have walking lie detectors for moms.

Test Subject 06: Niki Sanders
Known Aliases: Jessica Sanders, Ali Larter
Last Seen: Heroes

Every mom has a violent split personality with freakish strength... especially when it comes to their child's well being. The instinct to protect their offspring is a trait etched in every mother's genetic make-up (Well unless you're a gerbil or a prairie dog) In a save-the-world scenario, this maternal instinct is admirable, even heroic, but on a normal day, offspring find maternal overprotection suffocating. Some moms are often seen chasing a playing toddler with a towelette in one hand and baby powder and hand sanitizer in the other. A little bacteria is actually good for kids.

Test Subject 07: Ruth Fisher
Known Aliases: Frances Conroy
Last Seen: Six Feet Under (ok, that came out a little morbid)

Every mom can bottle emotions, complete with a cork, a dainty adhesive label and a note saying "Do Not Touch" in cursive letters. During instances when these bottles are opened (read: alcohol) mothers are actually relatable and are capable of having fun and letting their hair down from the perpetual bun. Mothers are also extremely finicky when it comes to their children's (especially son's) potential mates. They have an invisible list of prerequisites which they mentally edit to include every potential mates' weaknesses.

Test Subject 08: Miranda Hobbes
Known Aliases: Cynthia Nixon
Last Seen: Sex and the City

Every mom can have the most amazing Irish red hair "given the right stylist". Most moms do not plan pregnancies and can get knocked up under the most inconvenient and improbable of circumstances (her partner had only one testes and she had a lazy ovary) Again, I point put the resilience of mothers. They can adapt to new life-changing situations and still have time to drink a couple of Cosmopolitans and sing "The Way We Were" with girlfriends in a chic bar. Single moms have an inclination to cynicism and a tendency for misandry.

Test Subject 09: Nancy Botwin
Known Aliases: Mary-Louise Parker (absolutely love her)
Last Seen: Weeds

Every mom has a secret garden of marijuana. Whether they deal or not is variable. (I have yet to watch episodes of the show aside from the pilot... My friendly neighborhood Jack Sparrows have given me, again, the quizzical looks when I ask for it... and I can't find torrents, why are most interesting shows hard to acquire? Have you seen Spiderman 3? It was hilarious when it didn't mean to be and corn ball when it did! You just wanna give MJ antidepressants and Tobey was just downright irritating, plus... Why did the butler wait til part 3 to tell his story? Ridiculous! There, I filled up the space... tee hee )

Test Subject 10: Carol Brady
Known Aliases: Florence Henderson
Last Seen: The Brady Bunch

Here's the story of a lovely lady, Who was bringing up three very lovely girls. All of them had hair of gold, like their mother, The youngest one in curls.

Here's the story, of a man named Brady, Who was busy with three boys of his own. They were four men, living all together, Yet they were all alone.

Till the one day when the lady met this fellow, And they knew that it was much more than a hunch. That this group would somehow form a family. That's the way we all became the Brady Bunch.

Every mom can, every once in a while, make me vomit in my mouth.

Test Subject 11: Laura Bennett
Known Aliases: "The Ice Queen"
Last Seen: Project Runway 3

Every mom, even after the 1950's, can bear a sixth child. I was partial to her in the last season mainly because of her degree in Architecture (you get to see very few architects on TV, well outside of the Discovery Channel) Most moms, especially when talking to their spouses and/or children, can be brutally frank to the point of insensitivity. It must be real nifty to have a mom who can tailor clothes to your specifications. Every mom can get away with describing something as "serious ugly".

Test Subject 12: Irina Derevko
Known Aliases: Laura Bristow, The Man, Lena Olin
Last Seen: Alias

Every mom has hired a hitman to kill her offspring... well maybe at least in her thoughts when all her kid does is whine and complain and blame everything, even typhoons, on her. Irina is the quintessential example of the undecipherable mother. She can plant verbal landmines to catch you off guard. She can manipulate you into doing for your own good. She can withhold information from you if she thinks you're not ready to handle it. One just can't get what she is thinking of. Every mom used to be a spy for the KGB, but only few have trusting relationships with their offspring and even fewer can pull off a black tank top.

Test Subject 13: Piper Halliwell
Known Aliases: Holly Marie Combs
Last Seen: Charmed

Every mom can freeze time. Mothers can perpetually view their offspring as milk-bottle-wielding, diaper-pooping children, and they have the embarassing albums to remind you (and your guests) They also have a remarkable mental history of time... like the time you first came home drunk, or the time you cried during your first day of school, or the time when you forgot her birthday, etc etc. Every mom can also cast a lovespell on her children, making them utterly enamored by her and extremely guilty the moment they sass. The good thing about that spell is it works vice versa.

Happy Mothers' Day
to my mom who I love and absolutely adore.
and to all moms in the entire known universe.

Oh, and elections are tomorrow... Just remember everything your mom taught you when you pick which names to write down.

.

Mosquitoes - Love : Alternati - 40

2007-05-06T20:28:00.000+08:00

I have been intentionally leaving my window open for the past days just to practice my backhand. I am currently establishing my own ATP Tour (not Adenosine Triphosphate dummy... it's Alternati Torturing Pests)

I personally believe that THE most useless, not to mention annoying, creature in the entire known universe is the mosquito (and I am saying this with finality AND an awareness of the existence of such creatures as the howling monkey and the idiotic lemmings) Pesky blood sucking creatures. And did you know only the females of the species bite humans? Apparently they need the protein to produce eggs. Damn male mosquitoes aren't getting off scot free... Sure, their mouths are incapable of sucking blood, but their peckers have been propagating the species for 170 million gazillion years.

I am re-evaluating a previous statement I made that the paint roller is the best human invention... I haven't encountered this yet during the time...

This is the Portable Bug Zapper 3000... a.k.a. My Racket. My Dad brought it home a week ago and it has drastically improved my forehand and my footwork. I just imagine every mosquito I whack has Federer's face on it. Juan Carlos Ferrero would make an excellent spokesperson for the product don't cha think? Aside from the Spanish good looks, his court nick name is hilariously appropriate.

The actual name of the product stenciled on it's plastic handle is "Electronic Mosquito Bat", I guess the chinese translators got baseball and tennis a little mixed up. It works like your typical suspended bug zapper, like so...

Basically electrocuting the damn winged Dengue carriers. The actual sound of the death of a mosquito when it touches the charged inner wire mesh of the racket is one of the most delightful sounds I will ever come to know (insert maniacal laugh here)

I truly detest mosquitoes, so much so that I've contemplated owning a bat, or several bats. Not the baseball thingamajig dummy, the actual nocturnal "flying rodent". Cleaning up guano is a small price to pay for a mosquito free household. I've read online that "a single bat can eat 3,000 mosquitoes and other insects in a single evening"... marvelous creatures. Maybe I can build my own subterrenean cave and have West Coast Customs pimp me a chartreuse bat mobile... hmmmm...

Pre-portable bug zapper, instead of lighting katols, I lit incense and/or cigarettes.

I also came across this article which explains (well... touches on, the researcher had some pending patents so all the useful info had been editted out) why some people (i.e. me) attract mosquitoes more than other people. It has something to do with the chemicals in our sweat.

Back in highschool, we had an electronics class. We had to etch circuit boards and weld in resistors... yaddah yaddah... (I made a two-tone door bell that worked... hah!) Anyways, I remember a classmate making this sonic mosquito deterrent. He said the device emitted a below humanly audible sound which female mosquitoes couldn't stand... I tried looking for a write-up of the device online but only came up with this (It is a similar device but works in reverse... a deterrent for humans using a high pitched mosquito sound) My electronics classmate could have made the whole thing up... I think he got an A in the subject.

The average life span of a mosquito is 3 weeks to several months... in my room, it's a little over a nanosecond plus the amount of time I need to reach for my zapper.

.

The 4 o'clock habit

2007-05-01T21:12:00.000+08:00

Guess who came back unscathed from the torturing heat of sauna-esque Manila...

I had a blast at the 33rd Annual United Architects of the Philippines Convention (Link warning: shield your eyes from the tacky twinkling headline) Everything was fabulous... well maybe except for the fact that we were treated like meat. Meat, in a sense that we were moved (No I Know What You Did Last Summer meat hooks involved) from one huge freezer to another transported using mobile refrigerators known as "air-conditioned vehicles". I am all for the movement against global warming but I don't think I could have survived 10 minutes in Manila without air conditioning... I have hyperactive sweat glands, we Baguio folk just ain't cut out for hot-humid lowland weather y'all.

I am not a spell-freak, heck I don't even proof read my blog entries. But upon registering, I couldn't help my inner editor from cringing when I saw the convention ID.

Did you notice the unfortunate typo? And it's in all IDs... tsk tsk.

Our three day weekend of debauchery was beyond my comprehension. I found an inner source of stamina I never knew I had. Just when I thought I couldn't possibly get dressed and go out anymore, a sponsored night out had me picking clothes from my trunk... I never refuse free booze... from friends and paint manufacturers alike.

Me, Dona and Tine in one of Malate's bars... Bars are Malate's mushrooms, they spring up everywhere regardless of the availability of sunlight or parking space. Smoking beside a gas dispenser was a first. I'd post more pics but they're pretty much predictable not to mention redundant. (Us eating a Cabalen's... Us eating at Rai Rai Ken... Us getting liquored up in Dencio's... Us getting plastered in Tropezz... Us getting smashed in a friend's condo... etc. etc... The dionysian life baby) We always found ourselves checking into our hotel rooms by 4 in the morning... like clockwork.

Our days, or what's left of them, were spent at World Trade Center attending (okay, sitting idly) seminars. Most of them appeared interesting on paper but between the inaudible sound system and the newspaper textured catered food, they didn't hold our interest very long. So the CONEX 2007 (Convention Exhibits) were a perfect diversion/ way to spend the remainder of the day. It is here we are introduced to new or improved construction materials and technology (and freebies to boot!) One particular exhibit that caused a stir was a stall that showed a 3d printer. I have seen the technology on TV but never in person... I was starstruck. Here's a "print-out" of a prototype rubber shoe sole.

It uses powdered plaster and a solvent of some sort to bind the powder. It costs helluvalot but I want one!

Our early evenings were spent at the Manila Hotel. I couldn't help but strut like Sydney Bristow on a black ops heist whenever I walked the hotel's plush carpets, especially after I go through the metal detector. Being in a lobby of people clad in suits and sayas has that effect on me.

The last night in the Manila Hotel was particularly memorable. First, we saw a handful of distinguished architects wearing superhero costumes (a contest) They went all out with unflattering white leotards and red spandex. There was a flash and a "mini-me" flash, a mutated wolverine that looked like Winnie the pooh, and several incarnations of Lastikman. Second, Boysen (a major sponsor) showed this TV ad for a new antibacterial paint they were marketing. It's an interesting product, but the ad was frickin hilarious! It was a beyond miserable adaption of House, MD. The main character is a pompous dufus named Dr. Home. That alone had me going stark laughing mad, add the ridiculous one-liners and the background music and I was sure I had lost my sanity.

Lastly came the raffle. I have the worst luck with these things as I've previously blogged about. The grand prize was some something inch LCD TV, which someone from another chapter got. The first set of prizes they handed out were file cabinets. YES, File Cabinets!!! We were laughing our asses off when we heard about the prize. The instant communal image in our heads were those huge clunky metal file cabinets we all grew to detest. That was the first raffle I've ever participated in where everyone, in our table at least, prayed not to win. A couple of my friends kept saying "Mananalo ka! Promise!!!" (You will win) I just crossed my fingers went to my happy place. The raffle drawer announced that third one to win the prize came from our chapter, we were pointing at each other like deranged witch hunters... dramatic pause waiting for a drum roll... and irony of ironies... my name resounded from the speakers. My instant thought was "Fuck!"... and my second thought became "Fuck it!". I am not one to bow down to the humiliating powers of a file cabinet. So I rose with as much grace as I could muster and walked gingerly toward the stage to claim my prize. It wasn't the clunky metal file cabinet we thought it would be... It's a whole lot smaller and is made of plastic. It has found a home in my room now... a tangible manifestation of my abhorrence for raffles.

And that was how I spent my weekend.

FYI, my camel made it back to Baguio safe and sound as well.

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One Day Blog Silence

2007-04-30T00:28:00.000+08:00

My Camel is Ready...

2007-04-26T00:19:00.000+08:00

I'm off. With T-square and an over-stuffed trunk of clothes, I am off to see the wizard... err... go to the national convention of architects.

Magic eight ball, will I be able to survive the Saharian summer heat of Manila?
Reply hazy... Try again later

I'll get back to your comments and return visits when I get back. Wish me luck!

(Blogging architects... If we happen to run into each other, give me a holler!)

Highschool Sweet Art

2007-04-22T14:19:00.000+08:00

Last night, I met up with MJ, one of my closest highschool buddies, who I haven't seen for ten years, literally.

Back in the days of uniforms, assignments and extremely thick textbooks, we had hours of fun just doodling on the edges of our notebooks. Give us a pencil, a black ballpen, a red ballpen and some relatively blank paper and we'd have a marvelous time engulfed in our twisted little daydream world filled with cliffs, steam rollers and cartoon versions of our classmates and professors. We had a twisted sense of humor even before pubescence.

We liked defying the laws of physics...

And the laws of anatomy...

Among other things, Disney characters were a staple in our doodles. That is the Little Mermaid amidst a chemistry computation.

This is an ad for a sequel we had in mind...

For some time we were obsessed with Pocahontas. We would re-write the script and make her Kenny-like, dying in every scene but magically resurrecting after a few cels. There was this serene moment when Captain John Smith and Pocahontas meet. A waterfall-induced misty atmosphere, orchestral music, a dramatic head turn with wind blowing in Pocahontas' hair, John Smith awed by her exotic beauty...

We've always had a thing for cliffs...

And for utter stupidity...

The best doodle MJ ever made in my opinion was this...

Don't tell me you don't remember Mara Clara and the show's title card with the main character's pictures in frames with the squiggly letterings on top... this was his interpretation of the final breakdown of the martyr known as Mara.

MJ now works as a segment writer for a hit noon-time show on local TV. It's funny how things work.

-------------------

I absolutely need to clean my room now. I turned it upside down just to find these ten plus year old artwork...

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I saw this on Carey's blog and I'm all for it.

Silence can say more than a thousand words.

This day shall unite us all about this unbelievable painful & shocking event and show some respect and love to those who lost their loved ones.

On April 30th 2007, the Blogosphere will hold a One-Day Blog Silence in honor of the victims at Virginia Tech. More than 30 died at the US college massacre.

But it´s not only about them. Many bloggers have responded and asked about all the other victims of our world. All the people who die every day. What about them?

This day can be a symbol of support to all the victims of our world!

All you have to do is spread the word about it and post the graphic on your blog on 30th April 2007. No words and no comments. Just respect, reflect and empathy.

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American I-doppelgangers

2007-04-19T18:56:00.000+08:00

Is anyone else ecstatic the world said "Sayonara Sanjaya"? Finally, the seemingly tone-deaf American audience voted off... err... that sounds wrong... anyways... voted off the multi-coifed AI finalist. I guess faux-hawks, minority representation and charisma (which I never got from him) can only take you so far. The folks at votefortheworst aren't too pleased I presume, and they're looking for a replacement for their papaya Sanjaya.

Kai's post on the show inspired this entry... (Oh and Kai... the Santino "Andrei" thing in your blog's new header is faaaabulous!) The following pic sums it up:

Melinda Doolittle and Carding

The oh so talented Melinda Doolittle and her Filipino look-a-like. hehehehe... This is sort of an inside pinoy joke few people overseas (or born before the days of vinyl) can relate to. That is half of the Filipino singing sensation that was The Reycards. When I saw the show last Wednesday, all I could think of was "Heshe looks like..."

And so I'm doing the whole "separated at birth" thing...

Chris Sligh and Jack Osbourne

Everyone already saw the resemblence even before Chris made the David Hasselhoff remark. Jack is the son of Black Sabbath's bat-head-devouring Ozzy Osbourne. This blog thought Chris S looked like a topiary. lol

Jordin Sparks and America Ferrera

I thought I was the first to see it but I was sadly mistaken when I came across this blog.

Stephanie Edwards and Fantasia

Pretty obvious, don't cha think? Everyone says so. Stephanie got booted for her lack of originality in her singing (Beyonce, anyone?) and apparently, the image as well.

Haley Scarnato and Irina Derevko

I've been rewatching earlier seasons of Alias and I've always got a sense of deja vu whenever Haley performed... until it dawned on me... Irina (Lena Olin)

Chris Richardson and Will Tippin

Told you I've been watching too much Alias. Everyone says Chris R. looks like Justin Timberlake... I say he looks like Tippin (Bradley Cooper)

Blake Lewis and Steve Zahn

Steve is one of those actors you see everywhere in supporting roles... most notably in Reality Bites.

Gina Glocksen and Callie Torres a.k.a. Callie O'Malley
(note to self: don't marry someone whose surname rhymes with your first name)

The smile, the eyebrow, the big bones, the strong voice...

Lakisha Jones and Kenan Thompson

This season's Mandisa and the SNL cast member could be fraternal twins. (I said this in Kai's comment box... I wonder if a Filipino ever came up to Lakisha and told her what her name translated to in Filipino... tee hee)

Brandon Rogers and Venus Williams

Again, a set of fraternal twins...

Phil Stacey and Gollum/ Smeagol

I even placed the bonnet on Gollum just to help you out.

Sanjaya Malakar and Animal

Awwww... a muppet. My first look-a-like was Moses from The Prince of Egypt mainly because of the hair and the svelte body but I couldn't find an image online so I nixed the idea. Then my next choice was one of Oprah's cocker spaniels... but that would be too harsh... Animal is perfect cause he too has lots of charisma and mediocre singing skills.

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"I don't care what people think about it,
to the left or to the right.
There are too many guns in our society.
Too many children have lost their lives in this great country."
-- Chicago Mayor Richard Daley.

The tragedy in Columbine happened on this day eight years ago. George Santayana said:

"Those who cannot learn from history are bound to repeat it."

My heart goes out to all the victims and the friends and families of the victims of the Virginia Tech tragedy.

13 Comic Reliefs

2007-04-14T02:56:00.000+08:00

Historically, April is one of the most catastrophic months. Insurrections, wars, natural disasters... notably, the war of the yankees and rednecks, the war of blue coats and red coats... the assassinations of Lincoln in a theater and Luther King at a motel... the Columbine highschool massacre... the sinking of RMS Titanic... the Bataan death march... the San Francisco earthquake... Chernobyl.

Ironically though, the month starts off with hoaxes and practical jokes, and the tradition of april-fooling has extended well before these tragic events happened.

It must be fate's preemptive permeation of comic relief into human tradition... or maybe the catastrophes were merely practical jokes gone awry. The Titanic engineer holding a couple of bolts in his hands saying... "Got yah!" as the ship sank all the passengers laughing as they met their watery death.

Anyways, my 13th post for April is dedicated to our quirky, plucky comic reliefs. How can we appreciate all our dramas, our comedies and our dramedies without the characters who make us laugh at the moment when we are at the verge of crying or throwing a fit.

Hugo "Hurley" Reyes
Lost

I personally find Hurley as the sweetest, most adorable plus sized actor on television to date. His surfer dude expression "Dude..." is so cool. The Actor: Jorge Garcia

Quirks:
- Thinks he is cursed after he won a multi-million dollar lottery using the "bad numbers", manifestations of the bad luck included his grandpa's stroke, his new house catching fire and a meteor falling on his newly purchased Mr. Cluck's franchise.
- Plays ping-pong like Forrest Gump
- Had an imaginary friend named "Dave"
- Had for some time a working CD player on the island which eventually ran out of batteries midway through Damien Rice's "Delicate"

Comic Relief:
(Artz, the island scientist/ gradeschool teacher, explodes as he tries to handle dynamite from a pirate ship)
Hurley: (looking at Locke) "Dude... You've got some Artz on you."

Hiro Nakamura
Heroes

Everyone's favorite Japanese actor... even more than the always oh so serious Ken Watanabe. He is anime personified. The Actor: Masi Oka. (I was thrilled to see him in The Sarah Silverman Program Batteries episode... thanks to Ann for the comedienne referral. hehe)

Quirks:
- "Herro New York!!!" (need I say more?)

Comic Relief:
(After getting stranded in a diner in the middle of the desert, Hiro meets "Flying man" and asks him...)
Hiro: "Give me ride-o? (imitates car horn) Boo-boo!"

Jack McFarland
Will and Grace

One of the most flambuoyant gay guys to grace the television. "Just Jack" (with jazz fingers please) is an inspiration for all fairies and people with theatrical aspirations. The Brilliant Actor: Sean Hayes.

Quirks:
- Has a Cher barbie doll (as seen)
- Collects celebrity hair
- Laughs everytime "ball" is uttered
- Was married to Rosario
- Has a son with a recurring lesbian role done by Rosie O'Donnell

Comic Relief:
(Jack consoling Will...)
Jack: "You're caring and loving..."
Will: "You're just saying that to make me feel better."
Jack: "No I'm not. I mean, what would I get out of that?"

Karen Walker
Will and Grace

My favorite fabulous politically incorrect socialite. She is so morally and socially retarded, you can't help but worship the ground she walks on. The Actress: Megan Mullally. A comic relief in a comedy is pretty much redundant but Jack and Karen push the humor to a whole new level making Will and Grace depressing people by comparison.

Quirks:
- Has an alter ego named Anastasia Beaverhausen
- Has a Pharmacist and a Back-up pharmacist in her personal staff
- Drinks more alcohol than H20

Comic Relief:
Grace: "What you're feeling are pangs of guilt."
Karen: "What?"
Grace: "Guilt. Oh, boy. Ok. How am I gonna explain this one? Uh... guilt is an emotion that - Ok. Jumping ahead. An emotion is something that..."
Karen: "Hey, hey, hey. Come on. I know what guilt is. It's one of those touchy-feely words that people throw around that don't really mean anything... You know, like "maternal" or "addiction."

Marshall Flinkman
Alias

He is the inhouse CIA "Q". Marshall is a mumbling, rambling, babbling tech guy who never fails to impress me with how he speaks the way he does. The Actor: Kevin Weisman

Quirks:
- Has photographic memory
- Almost always adds inconsequential factoids in his presentations

Comic Relief:
(Marshall talks hysterically to guard to get past security and succeeded)
Sydney: "What did you say to him?"
Marshall: (nervous) "I don't know. I think it was "Go away I can smell you from here" in Ewok. "

Greg Sanders
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

If he isn't fictional proof that not all scientists are boring and dreary then I don't know... He has, what I think is, dorky sex appeal. He has, however, become less comical in the current season... Hodges is taking his place as comic relief. The Actor: Eric Szmanda.

Quirks:
- Likes listening to heavy metal while working in the lab
- Has an evolving hairstyle

Comic Relief:
Sara Sidle: "So relax and lie down on your back"
Greg Sanders: "You know, this is exactly like a dream I had once, except it wasn't in a garage and Grissom wasn't watching."

Debbie Novotny
Queer as Folk

Outspoken, stubborn, nagging, red-haired... the physical TV representation of my mom. The Actress: Sharon Gless

Quirks:
- Is almost always chewing gum
- Has hilarious shirts. The one in the pic says "Got Lube?"

Comic Relief:
Debbie: "If I have to watch Martha Stewart make one more goddamn thing out of goat cheese, I'm going to kill myself."
Vic: "AMC has a Joan Crawford festival all week."
Debbie: "Nobody's THAT gay."

Stanford Blatch
Sex and the City

SATC's "Fifth Lady". The shirt, tie and matching cap says it all. The Actor: Willie Garson

Quirks:
- Did I mention the outfit?

Comic Relief:
(Convincing Carrie she can pull off a short-lived modelling career)
Stanford: “Okay, so you're not Heidi Klum, but you're the 'modeliest' of the real people.”

Phil Stubbs
Ed

The head honcho of the Stuckeybowl staff. Stuckeybowl, to the un-ED-ucated is a bowling alley/ law office. Phil holds fort in the shoe counter. He has this obsession with fame and devises numerous ridiculous schemes to achieve it that always go awry. The Ingenious Actor: Michael Ian Black (a great poker player too)

Quirks:
- Poses as a MENSA member smoking a pipe
- His catch phrase is "Shave my Poodle"

Comic Relief:
Phil: "I never liked kids. They're like small drunk adults."

Phoebe Buffay-Hannigan
F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

A flaky, eccentric, New-agey bohemian/vegetarian. She can be totally innocent one second and completely psycho the next. I love "Smelly Cat". The Actress: Lisa Kudrow

Quirks:
- Still believes Santa Claus is real
- Has an alter ego named Regina Phalange
- Has a twin sister, Ursula, a pornstar whose most notable film was "Buffay, the Vampire Layer"

Comic Relief:
Ross: (leaning over and talking to Rachel's womb) "I can't wait to play with you all day, and to hear your first words."
Phoebe: (wide eyed) "Why are you letting him talk to your crotch that way?"
Rachel: "He's talking to the baby."
Phoebe: "Oh, that's good. Because when I heard, "I can't wait to hear your first words" I thought, "Boy that's some trick!"

Bettina
Six Feet Under

Bettina is a recurring role in SFU. She is the most subtle comic relief in this list, but compared to all the gloomy main characters, she might as well be Karen-freakin-Walker. The Actress: the marvelous Kathy Bates

Quirks:
- Manages Vicodin withdrawals
- Her daughter is alluded to as a "nut job"

Comic Relief:
Bettina: "Lucky, unlucky, I don't know. I'm unlucky I ran through three husbands. I'm lucky I got to retire early off the insurance. I'm unlucky my son set fire to the house. I'm lucky I've never had a urinary tract infection. I don't even care if it works out fair in the end. I'm sure it doesn't. I still have to haul my own ass out of bed in the morning."

Elaine Vassal
Ally Mcbeal

Ally's secretary/ assistant/ friend/ spontaneous Broadway singer/ limelight stealer/ homeshopping fanatic. The Actress: Jane Krakowski (Now 30 Rock's Jenna)

Quirks:
- <<< That is a face bra... and yes people ACTUALLY produce them in real life
- She also had a bra that has a remote and jiggles to Jingle Bells

Comic Relief:
Ally: "I mean, with all due respect, you sort of walk around with uppity breasts, and the hair flips aren't the most subtle. And your perfume - you could be flammable. Now what if somebody shut you down as a safety hazard, how would you feel then?"
Elaine: "That was with all due respect?"

Janitor
Scrubs

He is the Janitor. He makes it a point to sadistically terrorize JD and habitually teleports whenever he's the last person JD wants to see grinning his sarcastic grin. The Actor: Neil Flynn

Quirks:
- He often pretends to be Dr. Jan Itor (Jan as in the German name)
- He's unfoundedly clever

Comic Relief:
(JD is at the reception desk, sad)
Janitor: "Girl problems?"
J.D.: "How did you know?"
Janitor: "Well, you look like you've got problems, you're a girl. Hence, girl problems. Watch your nails."
(Slams down hinged door)
(FYI, J.D. is a straight guy)

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Sorry for torturing you with two extremely long posts back to back... It's April after all, a month of tragic, tragic events... Au Revoir!

.

Catch 22, Dish Out 10

2007-04-12T23:46:00.000+08:00

Ok, so last Monday night, I got smashed... A fitting end to the long vacation. I had one margarita too many... and let me just say drinking a margarita after a Bora (a vodka-rum based drink) isn't a fabulous idea. Of course it was all good while I was still vertical and laughing like a hyena but once you go horizontal... all hell breaks loose (and swirls around like a kaleidoscope too). Let me just say that sometime around 2 am in the morning I was face to face with my regurgitated dinner... yum...

Anyways... too much information...

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A Movie Meme
from the newly laptopped snglguy...
(I wish all memes were about movies *sigh*)

1. Name a movie that you have seen more than 10 times.
I don't really keep count but I've seen the following movies multiple times:
Before Sunrise (1995) - Celine and Jesse. This is one of my all time faves. I asked a friend of mine to watch it and her initial reaction after was... "They sure talked alot". I can't even begin to tell you how much I love it.
Meet Joe Black (1998) - This is one lone movie, but... Anthony Hopkins, Brad Pitt, Claire Forlani, Marcia Gaye Harden, the actor that plays the Bluth patriarch in Arrested Development... what's not to like eh? Oh, there's also all the long conversationless scenes, the topic of death and peanut butter!
The Truth About Cats and Dogs (1996) - A romantic comedy with the statuesque Uma Thurman, the fabulous Janeane Garofalo and the hot Ben Chaplin. The Premise: "If you were stranded in the Biosphere, who would you take? Time Magazine's Woman of the Year or Playboy's Playmate of the Year?".
The Lord of the Rings (2001 - 2003) - Yes, all three. And the last marathon of it I did was a director's cut which extended far longer than the cinematic releases. It showed many deleted scenes. What I'd give to sound like Cate Blanchett as Galadriel.
There are more, but this is only the first question... hahaha

2. Name a movie that you’ve seen multiple times in the theater.
I don't really go, as snglguy mentioned, Titanic (noun, watching a movie a million times in the cinema) for any movie (especially the blasphemy that is Titanic). Makes me wish there was a theater here in Baguio that shows matinees of movie classics...

3. Name an actor that would make you more inclined to see a movie.
Actors:
a. Anthony Hopkins
b. Al Pacino
c. Giovanni Ribisi
d. Jude Law (ok, eye cand but he's a terrific actor as well with terrific eyes and mouth and...)
e. Kevin Spacey

Actresses:
a. Cate Blanchett
b. Christina Ricci
c. Annette Bening
d. Meryl Streep
e. Emma Thompson
f. Parker Posey

Directors:
a. Richard Linklater
b. Woody Allen
c. Quentin Tarantino
d. Martin Scorsese

4. Name an actor that would make you less likely to see a movie.
Manny Pacquiao? ahhh... actor as in film, I get it. hmmm... I'm stumped.

5. Name a movie that you can and do quote from.
I don't really quote from movies in everyday conversation, it's just cheesy... Imagine:

Them: Good Morning!
Me: I love the smell of napalm in the morning. (Apocalypse Now)
Them: Huh? Na-what?
Me: You talking to me? (Taxi Driver)
Them: Yeah I am, why do you sound like a weird shrieky Robert de Niro?
Me: You had me at hello, my preciousss. (Jerry Maguire, LOTR)
Them: What is wrong with you? Who are you?
Me: Bond. James Bond. (duh...)
Them: What the fuck are you on?
Me: Watch your words Persian (300)
Them: Why you little shit. I'm outta here..
Me: Here's lookin' at you kid... ~~(Gone With the Wind)~~ (Errata: Should be Casablanca... Tnx snglguy... hehehe)
Them: Yeah, yeah... get a life.

6. Name a movie musical that you know all of the lyrics to all of the songs.
Let's see. I know all of the chirpy, alpy, "high on the hill is a lonely goatherd" songs of The Sound of Music; all the rock-flavored "no day but today" songs of Rent; some of the eerie, orchestral "that's all I ask of you" music of The Phantom of the Opera, and all the music from Disney films between The Little Mermaid to Pocahontas from my childhood. I wouldn't be caught dead singing any of these songs... or any song for that matter. My singing voice can bring bloody tears to your eyes, literally.

7. Name a movie that you have been known to sing along with.
You know that "Say a Little Prayer" thing they did for My Bestfriend's Wedding? Not that... You know that "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" montage they did in Zoolander? Not that either. I don't sing in public. Thank you.

8. Name a movie that you would recommend everyone see.
I highly rcommend everyone to see Snakes on a Plane, Crossroads, Battlefield Earth, The Producers and Kazaam. Oh the humanity! They are the worst excuses for films I have ever had the misfortune to see. I don't wanna be the only one scarred for life!!!

9. Name a movie that you own.
Although I do own a lot of marked down original VCDs and DVDs, a greater percentage of the movies I "own" are debatable. Thanks to our industrious DVD Jack Sparrows.

10. Name an actor that launched his/her entertainment career in another medium but who has surprised you with his/her acting chops.
Lately, there's Jennifer Hudson for all the obvious reasons (which neither Madonna, Kelly Clarkson or Britney Spears succeeded in)

11. Have you ever seen a movie in a drive-in? If so, what?
Honey, If I see a drive-in theater in the Philippines, I'll call you okey?

12. Ever made out inside a theater?
I don't kiss and tell. (making a key locking motion over my mouth and throwing the key)

13. Name a movie that you keep meaning to see but just haven’t yet gotten around to it.
On my movie back log:
The Last King of Scotland,
Pan's Labrinth,
The Good German,
Notes on a Scandal

14. Ever walked out of a movie?
Hmmm... how dramatic. Not really... I never walk IN one I don't like to see.

15. Name a movie that made you cry in the theater.
Aside from singing, crying is another thing I don't do in public. Ok, ok... so I cried when Bambi's mother got shot by the hunter. I need to call my psychologist now.

16. What’s the last movie you saw in the theater?
Now that I think about it, it's been ageees ago! 'Twas The Prestige.

17. What’s your favorite/preferred genre of movie?
Indies.

18. What’s the first movie you remember seeing in the theater?
Maria and the Golden Bibe. Hahahahaha! Hahahahahah! In my defense, I was like 6 years old or something with my nanny (A die hard Maricel Soriano fan). I remember eating red Chippy and drinking Zesto and really enjoying that movie, Pinoy slapstick in all its glory.

19. What movie do you wish you had never seen?
See: question #8

20. What is the weirdest movie you enjoyed?
I have a high tolerance to weirdness. But some films I've enjoyed that probably enters the popular notion of "weird" include:
Dogma - Jay and Silent Bob save the day... and Alanis is God.
Evolution - the longest ad in history! hehehe... Head and Shoulders anyone?
A Scanner Darkly - Keanu Reeves looks hot as a toon.
Perfume: The Story of a Murderer - I was totally rooting for Jean-Baptiste to complete his perfume.
Punch Drunk Love - Where can I buy a harmonium?

21. What is the scariest movie you’ve seen?
See: question #8

22. What is the funniest movie you’ve seen?
Fahrenheit 9-11. Not funny "ha-ha"... but more of a "the world is playing a practical joke on you" funny.

So I am tagging a couple of people to do the meme:
Hmmmm... I am pretty curious how Ann and Tin-tin will say about this meme. hehe

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I have been meaning to post this meme for some time now... and what better time to do it than right now eh? I first heard of these 10 questions from James Lipton's "Inside the Actor's Studio", It's a talk show where Mr. Lipton interviews an actor infront of an acting class. Will Ferrell does a hilarious kick-ass impersonation of Lipton.

I used to see the show regularly on a Japanese channel in the forgotten 50's section of local cable, but that channel is gone now. I think. These 10 questions originally came from a French series, "Bouillon de Culture" which was hosted by Bernard Pivot.

Basically, just answer the questions. hehehe

"Inside the Actor's Studio" Meme

1. What is your favorite word?
plush

2. What is your least favorite word?
diarrhea

3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
truth

4. What turns you off?
fakeness

5. What is your favorite curse word?
fuck

6. What sound or noise do you love?
electric guitars

7. What sound or noise do you hate?
blackboard scratch

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
marine biologist

9. What profession would you not like to do?
long distance bus driver

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Aloha

Simple eh? Harder than it seems. Ok, so I did this meme as a sort of retribution, hahaha. I'm tagging snglguy. hahaha

.

Malls and Miles

2007-04-07T14:49:00.000+08:00

The Egyptians had their pyramids, the Aztecs their stepped pyramids... the Greeks had their acropolis, the Romans had their basilicas... and us, Filipinos have our humongous shopping malls.

The monumental forms of architecture of any civilization pretty much sums up the general priorities of the population. Pharaohs who had an obsession for immortality had slaves (with or without the aid of supposed aliens) build the pyramids with cosmological consultation. The Aztecs temples were used for human sacrifices. The Greek acropolis was a haven for religion, arts and democracy. The Roman basilicas for law and government.

The Filipino shopping mall is a refuge from hot humid weather, a warehouse for all thing bright and shiny, a hub for commerce and entertainment. It is our version of the Greek agora and the Roman forum only with video arcades and air-conditioning.

---

A couple of weeks ago, after the family reunion we attended, the family decided to do a sidetrip to Manila. SM Mall of Asia was in our itinerary. The main draw for me was the IMax theater.

We Filipinos have outdone ourselves. The mall was huge, the only thing I was aching (literally) to buy was a Segway (ala GOB on Arrested Development). Given the landscape and location of the mall (which is along Manila Bay), I could see why they decided to sprawl the mall instead of stacking it up... it can take full advantage of the view without blocking it for the buildings behind it and a horizontal building silhouette works like magic against a body of water... But com'on... haven't they heard of conveyors and moving walks?

SM Mall of Asia (I am productive when bored to death):

1. Alice: "Toto, I don't think we're in Universal Studios anymore..."

2. A cup of yoghurt: "Ooooooh! A huuuuuge refrigerator! with a skating rink?! Joy!"
3. Al Gore: "Lessening the amount of air conditioning is A "moral imperative"!"

4. A cup of yoghurt: "Shut up Gore! have you read this?"
5. Al Gore: "No comment"

6. Minimalist: "Good enough"
7. Utilitarian: "Such a waste of space"
8. Environmentalist: "And energy too! The amount of air conditioning is directly proportional to the amount of enclosed space!"
9. Al Gore: "Yeah! ditto!"
10. A cup of yoghurt: "Here's another one Gore"

11. Dato' Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi: "I am having the weirdest, strongest sense of deja vu... I thought we just left the Kuala Lumpur International Airport?"

12. Peter Petrelli: "I don't remember posing for this ad... Must have been before my bangs were telekinetically chopped off my forehead"

13. Filipino-English lexicographer: "Maldita is the closest Filipino word for bitch, in the derogatory sense"

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We also passed by the World Light Expo 2007... and by passed by I meant breezed through without going in cause everyone was too beat up to even consider walking amidst a multitude of light bulbs.

I've read from a brochure I got earlier from my Dad that it had an acrobat exhibition and one of 1st Qin Emperor's Terracotta Army (those unearthed sculptures of Chinese soldiers in flank formation). After reading a blog review, I was satiated with looking at the expo from afar. Review, schedules, fees and other pertinent info from Our Awesome Planet.

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On the way to Bulacan, I nearly broke my neck trying to get this photo of the car's odometer. My brother, who was driving, has a thing for "7". That's his number as a basketball/ volleyball athlete, his car's plates end with 777, and so I found myself nudging him trying to get a decent picture of the mileage. No one got hurt.

,

Visita Iglesia

2007-04-06T14:21:00.000+08:00

The seventh church... I found myself staring blindly into a gold leafed tabernacle. The candles flickering like dancing fireflies, the scent of incense wafting in the air, orchestral music played just a few decibels over audibility. My cousin, to my right, on his knees praying solemnly. My thoughts, aside from my apparent somnambulism, are concentrated on the cascading waterfalls on which the tabernacle was set... a reminder of a project from the office I was supposed to be working on with a similar water feature in the plaza.

I was born into a long line of Roman Catholics... grew up with rosaries, scapulars, 3 o'clock prayers and Santo Ninos. Visita Iglesia is a paternal family tradition. It's basically visiting seven churches, offering prayers and 2.50 PhP candles, on Maundy Thursday. I am not a particularly religious person, (spiritual, maybe) however, I do love my family and its traditions. This is, personally, one of the touchiest subjects. At the risk of sounding crass, me and Roman Catholicism do not "mesh well together" for a number of reasons I'd rather not publish. Hate mail on Pacquiao is one thing, but comments from a devout Catholic and advice on "returning to the faith" would be an argument where neither party would win, concede or get anything out of.

I've always believed religion is a personal thing... If it works for you and gives you a sense of higher purpose, then you're probably doing something right. I have a great admiration for people with a passion for their religion... Catholic penitence during Lent, the Muslim's Salat in the direction of the qiblih, the Buddhist attainment of the Four Noble Truths, the Hindu awareness for Karma in the attainment of Nirvana... and so on. There are so many religions in the world, each with it's own set of enlightening truths... It's a smorgasbord for knowledge, one I've decided, at a young age, to take part of.

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Ok, that was a tad too serious... even for a disclaimer. It's Lent talking. While we were doing our Visita Iglesia rounds, Tine and I can't keep our architect "mind voices" stifled:
"That doesn't look like a convent",
"I love the woodwork",
"The ornateness of the gates are impeccable",
"That mezzanine slab with those puny beams can't POssibly support that many pews!",
("Cute guy, 12 o'clock")

--------------------

Last year, we spent Lent in my dad's home province of Bulacan. There is more to Baliuag than the green buses, the oh so yummy butong pakwan and the lechon manok. There is also the lavish fete known as "Prusisyon" (Procession) It's a parade of numerous floats with statues depicting the biblical stories of Jesus from his return to Bethlehem to his Resurrection. It's like going to Musei Vaticani but instead of walking through wide marbled corridors, you sit idly on benches as the art is showcased infront of you.

The statues are a little larger than human scale. The scent of scented candles, fresh flowers and incense waft after each float passes by. These photos were taken by my bro-in-law.

It's one of those spectacles that never ceases to awe me.

.

Aloha Koi

2007-03-27T21:30:00.000+08:00

I believe it's humanly impossible to keep track of the names, work histories, food preferences, ex-lovers, current lovers, eccentricities and what-nots of 100+ people. The human brain can only store so much.

Aloha!

I got leid last Saturday...

...As in a hawaiian lei dummy. Clad in batik with prints of tropical flowers, dolphins and all things bright and sunny, I spent my Saturday in a luau themed paternal family reunion. It was fun catching up with aunts, uncles and cousins thrice removed. I sure was glad Icky, one of my close cousins, thought of nametags. I usually ignite a gazillion brain cells grappling for names of familiar familial faces. I once spent 30 minutes chatting with someone I had no recollection of meeting before... It was hard concocting generalized questions and answers... weather an current events usually work. But spending a half hour conversation with a stranger is nowhere near as difficult as spending a whole day with a bunch of blood relatives you know nothing about.

I knew about 25% of the people in the reunion, and by "knew" I mean I can tell you their names, the names of their spouses, their kids, where they work, where they live, how much homemade ice cream they can eat in an hour, etc. etc. Ok, ok... most of the guys and gals in this 25% are near and dear to my heart (awww... shucks... cue slow tear drop from my left eye)

I can remember the names of the other 50% without the aid of "Hi, my name is ___" tags.

However, the remaining 25% are complete and utter strangers. I usually look like a buffoon smiling and waiting for the relative stranger to initiate small talk... which usually ends in awkward silences... and then an excuse for a need to be somewhere else... and then later a visit to one of my cousins, a nudge and a "Who's that girl in the white dress that speaks Japanese?", "Oh"... and then twenty seconds later your Harajuku cousin's name eludes you again.

It was excruciatingly hot in Bulacan. A sauna, al fresco. The ~~coldest~~ least warm area in the resort was at the entrance porte cochere. This was my refuge... 20 minute interval smoking breaks amidst palmeras and swimming koi. Smoking seems to be in my paternal genes. Nearly everyone with lungs and fingers and a job to sustain the habit were smokers. We must contribute about 10% of the CO2 in the atmosphere and 25% of the gross annual income of Marlboro. It's sad really... I'd cry but my all my brain cells are focused on inhaling tobacco fumes and holding the cigarette, my tear ducts have been disconnected from my nervous system. I can only multi-task to a certain degree.

Dehydration aside... I had fun at the reunion. I would forget most of my relatives names again in next year's reunion, but I think the nametags would be a permanent fixture by then. I could make a genealogy... nah, it wouldn't be fun...

Aloha!
(I wonder how hawaiians can differentiate if someone is coming or going when they say aloha)

... Oh! And I'm temporarily changing my "summer song" to Sunburn by Sandwich... I'm so lovin the song right now. I'll return to my original "summer song" when this one has lost its potency. The original one was Rupert Holmes' Escape... "If you like pina coladas, and getting caught in the rain..."

... Oh! And I was blogrolling and came upon a meme from Snglguy. It's The Thinking Blogger's Award... It's basically listing 5 blogs that force you to run the gears in your supposed brain. hehehe... I guess the five bloggers on my blogroll that make me go all Rodin and do this:

are:

1. Snglguy - Inside the Mind of a Single Guy - I know I shouldn't return the tag but heck, when it comes to politics and current events, snglguy is my CNN. (He breaks the news more entertainingly than say Larry King)
2. BW - The Warped Zone - You get a Buddha-esque sensation after blogrolling to BW's blog. I consider him the semi-enlightened one. :)
3. Ann - Fighting Gravity - She's younger than me in earth years but older than me in blog years. She's really smart. I love Miss Monalisa's laid back blogging style.
4. Ferdz - En Route - Ferdz makes me think the country isn't as fucked up as we assume... Nothing resembling the Dante's seventh circle of hell could possibly have the landscapes Ferdz features in his blog. He also makes me think I'm a foreigner in my own country. I so wanna see Bataan.
5. Wil - Miskina Ano na Isip - Wil can make the most astute observation about things we often neglect/ overlook. His blogging style is very mellow. I can't come up with an accurate english translation of his blog's name... "Whatever will do, Brain"(?)

These bloggers (and many more from my blogroll) are responsible for frying a bulk of my brain cells. I dunno whether I should thank you or go all Hannibal and make your brains entrees. hmmm... Predicament, predicament...

.

30, 3, 5, 5-7-5

2007-03-24T00:26:00.000+08:00

30 Rock
premiered on Starworld yesterday.

Jack Donaghy (Baldwin): Alfredo 2pm.
Liz Lemon (Fey): I'm not dressed for that.
Jack: You're dressed for Burger King. Should we make it Burger King?

(Liz borrows a pink suit from the wardrobe stylist)

Jack: That’s how you should dress for work, by the way.
Liz: Yeah, if I was president of the Philippines.

A cast of stand-up comedians, SNL alumni, and that girl that played Ally Mcbeal's secretary, quick and witty repartee, hemorrhoid cream... I love the show already.

3 words
that made my day yesterday

Basti Artadi is baaaack.

5 blogs (and my futile attempt at haikus)

A meme tag from Tin-tin (one of my fave posts of hers is Birthday Gift... clever. hehe)

The rules:

1. Choose five blogs randomly (I cheated, I chose) from your blogroll.
2. For each blog, choose at least one entry (you could add more) which is your favorite post by this blogger.
3. Include a link to this post and explain why you like it.
4. The chosen five bloggers are considered tagged and they will also have to do the same in their blogs. (I waive this rule. hehehe)

Don’t be too hung up on grammar or some writing technicalities, just choose for the simple reason that you enjoyed reading the entry - it made you laugh, shed tears, fuming mad, motivated, inspired - whatever your reasons are, you think it’s the blogger’s best post so far and could even make it to the list of the blogosphere’s all time favorites.

I. Pandemian

Tin can telephone
too much in awe to comment
What is pandemian?

Omphaloskepsis
alternative ways to die
Yes, apoplexy

Two, Ergophobia
eight things he wanted to be
Reasons why he won't

II. Random Thoughts
The Nashman, hobbit
four feet and fourteen inches?
Wicked hilarious

HHHN, ullk
Eight things I hate 'bout Paris
couples making out

Pee trajectory
Nashman Studies of Motion:
Viewer discretion

(try putting: The Nashman Studies of Motion 11: The Longest Yard - Using the Tools of Science to Answer What Every Boy Wanted to Know But Was Afraid To Ask in a haiku?!)

III. For Crying Out Loud

Yes... Talamasca
puts the "fun" in funeral
read: sardonic wit

TV-phile, What's up
with all the TV deaths? huh?
Ditto on Nello

Two, Anacondas:
the hunt for the bloody orc~~hid~~
Haha... haha... ha

IV. Kat's Scribbles

Musings, motherhood
Music and mayhem... mmm-key?
Alliteration

New word: hellacious
Twenty four hours, Projectile
Vomiting and poop

Just a Slice of Life
Rockstar mom, Rockstar baby
Hi Mr. Froggy

V. Being Five

He's Georgie, He's five
A kid who can blog using
voice recognition

Thanksgiving dinner
Turkey, pumpkins, grandmothers
Paper, paper bag

Becky came over
Why'd he try to sneak a kiss?
Brangelina... Whap!

-----------------

I'm off to Bulacan for the weekend. Happy weekend everyone! (Look at me all bright and chirpy... this soon shall pass)

Delayed Reactions

2007-03-22T00:55:00.001+08:00

A.K.A. Stale blog entries that never were because I was underneath a shitload of work.

1. One "L", two "P"s and absolutely no "A"s (12 Mar 07)
So Rob and Amber, one of the best Amazing Racers ever (and a personal fave), got booted because they didn't know how to spell my dear country. And it didn't help at all that Mirna and Shmirna beat them for second to the last place. The irony is palpable. I'd laugh if it wasn't too painful.

2. I Need a Hiro (14 Mar 07)
The telecast of Heroes on Starworld is "Not Available in the Philippines" because RPN bought the rights as I've gathered from Talamasca. I've been just a day, a couple max, behind overseas telecast of the show up until the 18th episode. The 19th episode is as elusive as Claude and as inaccessible as Wireless. It wasn't after a couple of corrupt downloads and a lot (ok some) internet digging that I found out the reason there was no 19th episode on the internet black market because it hasn't even been aired yet. I have no idea why that is so, but the 19th friggin episode will air on April 23, the Independence Day of Israel (Hana Gittelman correlation anyone?)... also Shirley Temple's birth and Miguel Cervantes' death.

Spoiler Alert

3. A Rush of Blood to the Head (14 Mar 07)
I can't even begin to tell you how psyched I am after I heard Coldplay's fourth album is on the way. Guy Berryman told in an interview, the new album is gonna be edgier. I'm tingling with anticipation.

4. Photoless (17 Mar 07)
So I've nearly exceeded my Photobucket bandwidth according to an e-mail titled "Whoops". I didn't know I use up close to 10 GB of bandwidth a month. I don't even know what bandwidth is. It's such an odd word. Bandarea = bandwidth x bandlength. That is assuming band is a rectangle. Duh.

5. Who knew Al Gore was Funny (18 Mar 07)
I watched "An Inconvenient Truth". Aside from this part's title, I also realized I had faulty intel on Global Warming. It's one of those terms you pass around all too often but don't really understand (well me, at least) similar to other terms like bandwidth, the geometric oblong and of course, pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, a word we can't live without in everyday conversation. (i.e. Manong! Ipacheck nyo po tambutso nyo! Parang na-pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis ako!) I am so far from what I was blogging about. Anyways... Yes , like Howling, the documentary scared the crap out of me... Imagine living in an actual Waterworld (Costner optional) without Polar Bears and Happy Feet... Scary! I don't think any of us are too dense to realize that Mother Nature has gone psycho, and we are the pesky critters that cause hey psychosis.
The cheesy soliloquys, the quasi-political agenda and inconvenience aside, this documentary was enlightening. You should watch it if you haven't yet.

6. I wonder what the Statistics say... (19 Mar 07)
About the Jeopardy three way tie. The probability is 1 in 25 million. Sheesh!

-----------------------

I was tagged with a meme by Tin-Tin ...one I am still working on. hehehe...

13 Former Child Stars

2007-03-14T13:48:00.000+08:00

So I missed my thirteenth post, again.

Anyways... I finally got to see Little Miss Sunshine last week. I haven't heard of the film pre-oscar nomination, and in my opinion, that's one of the good things about the Academy Awards, exposure for relatively unknown independent films. The film wasn't really as phenomenal as The Full Monty, yet another independent film that became famous post-Best Picture oscar nomination, but it was a relatively interesting film.

Like The Full Monty, they did the whole dancing thing at the end but it didn't end in a full monty.
I love combies (which they called a bus?). Very hippie-chic. And who knew they also did the push the car to jumpstart it maneuver in the first world. An eye-opener.
I love the underrated Toni Collette. I first fell in love with her acting in Cosi (1996), where she played a mentally ill patient/ cast mate of a production of a Mozart opera that went successfully awry. I absolutely adore her singing "Stand by Me".
Who knew Steve Carrell is attractive when he underacts.
This is the first film, I've seen, that showed a Nietzche cameo.
Although Alan Arkin was great as the blunt granddad/ non-breathing trunk baggage, I truly found, even if I hate to admit it, that Eddie Murphy deserved the Best Supporting Actor trophy more. For the first time in his long movie career, I found Murphy believable as opposed to his other roles: The nutty professor who talks to animals, and the talking Donkey of Shrek.
Those other Little Miss Sunshine contestants looked like brides of Chucky.

Abigail Dreslin was infectious and her supporting actress nomination was well deserved. I just hope that unlike most actors/ actresses nominated at her age, her career wouldn't die a natural death. She has potential.

She inspired my list for the month...

13 Former Child Stars
Tagline: "The sensation is like a 10-year high school reunion."

From a wide-eyed gradeschool student, to the mole with an unflattering Cindy Crawford "moley, moley, mole". The Wonder Years was a big show when I was a kid, and I always get reminded of it when I hear the Joe Cocker version of the Lennon-McCartney written and Ringo Starr sung "With a Little Help from my Friends". What I like about Fred Savage is his willingness to make fun of himself, he ain't cute anymore, but he is still very recognizable... (one of the banes of being a former child star, I guess)

From Charlie the Firestarter to one of Charlie's Angels. Ok, so Drew Barrymore's more popular movie as a kid was E.T. (as seen on the "then" shot) but i just couldn't resist the Charlie correlation. Who doesn't like Drew? Edgy, down-to-earth, foxy and vulnerable. My fave Drew movies include: Mad Love (1995), The Wedding Singer (1998), and Donnie Darko (2001, just a supporting role)... oh and yes, her character's brutal death in the first segment of Scream was ingenious! She was only seen for a few minutes in the movie, but that phone ring/ popcorn/ slasher scene became the mental summary of all Scream movies.

From being the most famous child star to a custody battle, doobie possession, a Michael Jackson case testimony, and a wedding/ divorce. Considering what Macaulay Culkin has been through, He is as normal as humanly possible. I think he's hot, in a Billy Chenowith kind've way. I like 'em dark and twisty.

From a head-turning girl, to a 48 year old head turner. First of all, I am gonna admit I'm a wuss. I couldn't bring myself to use a "possessed" image of Linda Blair in the "then" shot. Watching The Exorcist was no small feat for a child of 14. I wonder if people who meet her ever ask her to do a 360 degree owlish head turn.

From "I see dead people" to "I see a dead career". A victim of the premature oscar nomination. Sure Haley Joel Osment was good in The Sixth Sense and cute as Forrest Gump Jr. and the thing with creating a career dominated by goody two shoed roles is that the roles after multiple DUI charges would become slim pickings. Plus, he didn't age gracefully... this once relatively cute ghost whisperer just looks odd now.

From boy to boy wonder. Just like The Harry Potter movies, Daniel Radcliffe becomes less GP as the sequel number increases. And unlike number 5, he aged quite gracefully. I am envious of Radcliffe because Gary Oldman, THE Gary Oldman taught him how to play the bass guitar.

From Whale Rider to knocked-up donkey rider. Keisha Castle Hughes was phenomenal in her Yentl-ish role as Paikea Apirana in The Whale Rider, and became the youngest actress ever nominated for the Academy Best Actress Award. Her last film, which I haven't seen, was The Nativity Story. New Zealand's got talent, Anna Paquin (Rogue of the X-men movies), also a child star from the country, won Best Supporting Actress for The Piano when she was 11 years old.

From Addams to Eve-ryone's favorite versatile actress, well mine at least. I can honestly say, I love and will love any movie Christina Ricci is in. From her early movies like Mermaids and Now & Then (Even Casper), to the more mature Prozac Nation, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Buffalo 66, Anything Else, Pumpkin, Monster, etc. etc. etc. Even her TV credits for Ally Mcbeal and her guest appearance in Grey's Anatomy were phenomenal.

From then to then. There isn't much physical change if you study closely. Still the same Mr. Burns-ish body frame and the same pre-puberty look. Neil Patrick Harris was the first blogger I've ever known. Well, the Sex and the City-ish journal he kept in Doogie Howser, MD is close enough to a blog. His comedic roles in film and TV are hilarious. He knows he's white, he knows he's puny and he makes the most out of it in his roles and choice of roles. He came out of the closet in 2006.

From Full House to a pair of drama queens. What the Olsen Twins lack in acting ability, they make up for in marketing skills. They are rich. But if you wanna see what growing up in the public eye results in, I give you exhibit 10.

From Hocus Pocus to an American Beauty. Thora Birch is an amazing actress who acted alongside #9 in Purple People Eater and #8 in Now and Then. I've just read from a fairly unreliable source (Wikipedia) that both her parents were porn stars and that she was named after the norse god of thunder... well duh, just add the "a".

From The Never Ending Story to a bitter end. Jonathan Brandis was my image of Bastian Bux. When I was young(er), I was mesmerized by Fantasia (not the American Idol), by the Childlike Empress, even by Xayida, but most especially by Falkor the luckdragon. Brandis passed away in 2003 due to injuries from a suicide attempt.

From Vicki to where is she? Tiffany Brissette played Vicki Lawson, a robot/ daughter in Small Wonder, a huge sitcom in the late 80's. Aside from the obvious instances of illegal child abuse (physical labor, sleeping upright in a closet) I loved this show. It had the look and feel of a typical American sitcom at the time: white picket fences, background laughter, irritating neighbors... Ms. Brissette was last seen singing on the 700 club. Pat Robertson scares the bejezuz out of me.

Abigail, If you happen to stumble on my blog (As if!). Learn from these former child stars. Stay away from Xanax, unflattering moles, stage parents, the 700 club, drunk driving and Paris Hilton.

Book Two, I: Many Meetings

2007-03-11T21:25:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since I had a meme on my to-do list. This one is courtesy of Snglguy.

Who is the first blogger you met?
Aside from my pre-blog friends who blog once in a blue moon (Jackie, Ely and Vic), the first blogger I met was Jessica Zafra (a book signing), I have met Carlos Celdran on an Intramuros outing before her, but I didn't really share a long enough conversation with him to consider it a "meeting". Now that I actually think about it, I might have met dozens of people who blog without my knowledge... with aliases and all.

Who is the blogger ‘You Most Want to Meet’?
Marat Safin (ok, ok, so it was only a week long blog, but quality over quantity, eh?)
...oh and James Mcavoy if he has one.

Who is the ‘I can meet, want to meet, but somehow never got to meet’ blogger?
None really, Most of the bloggers I wanna meet are either an ocean apart or as busy/ lazy as I am.

Who are the group of bloggers that you most want to meet?
Shonda Rhimes and her posse of writers, not really a lot of group blogs on my blogroll.

Do you have any bloggers/blog readers that you would like to meet right now?
Oohh, I would love to:

Accompany En on her next ultrasound, Grimm's Fairy Tales optional.
Share a yosi break with Snglguy and talk politics and/or see the Screw Master.
Gatecrash in one of Kat's gigs with the now bassist-less Plastiq Passion, I'd babysit Rockstar Baby of course... I'm immune to vampires. :P
Be knighted by His Royal Orangeness, Karl Willem, with The Nashman's and PA/PR Gromit's blessing of course.
Spend a week, yes a week!, at the movies with Talamasca.
Get an IV induced adrenalin rush courtesy of my fave nurse, Howling.
Tailgate on one of Ferdz' treks.
Learn photography from clicking extraordinaires, Abaniko, Sidney and Iskoo.
Spend A.S.S. with Verns.
Do set designs for Chase.
Get a Hula 101 course from Rho and J.
Get guitar lessons from Will.
Know a thing or two about RSS Feeds, pageranking and website whatnots from Shari.
Just hang out with Tani.
Share a giant bowl of buffalo wings with BW.
Freshen up on my less than mediocre German with che. The only phrase I know now, aside from pleasantries, is Rauchen Verboten.
Mourn with Tin-tin over her phone that went kaput.

... to name a few.

There! Another meme done. No tags... If you wanna do it, you have my blessing.

I Rock!... not in Iraq

2007-03-08T23:01:00.000+08:00

I'm in a rut... an emotional downward spiral, a depressive vortex, a putrid pothole of my own devise... whatever you wanna call it... I'm in one. It's just one of those phases I go through sporadically that not even Jon Stewart or Conan O'Brien or a Chris Farley movie can get me out of.

Anyways, talking about it only makes it worse. Enough bout me. How have you been? I hope the weather is fairer on your side of the moodsphere.

I got my passport renewed last week and I was flabbergasted by this stamp on page 2 of my green pasaporte...

So Iraq doesn't really enter the list of "places I wanna visit before I die", so this is just odd. It's like getting denied a job you didn't want in the first place. However slightly appealing visiting the cradle of civilization was, now, it just became pointless A.D. (after discovery of this stamp) Now, I look at Mesopotamia as just a piece of land shaped like a deformed crescent moon surrounded by two rivers. This blogger won't be drowning in the Tigris and Euphrates... I'm gonna pick a more dramatic body of water. Red Sea? It may be the only lake I'll float in. The Niagara Falls? too predictable. Pasig River? ick. A drum acting as an impluvium in our backyard? Perfect! Nothing like collected rain water in your lungs when they do my autopsy. Dried leaves optional.

Anyways, the stamp prompted me to make this mental list:

Don't come knocking on my door offering me an all expense trip to Iraq because some beloved shah is in need of a (insert donatable(?) organ here) transplant, and I, considering the billions of people in the world, am the only viable candidate. Please honey... keep on walking.
What? They discovered a prehistoric animal hide with my name printed legibly on it? And they say its the key to fully understanding the Mesopotamians? Let them wallow in their questions and their unquenchable curiousity... I ain't talking unless you bring the hide to the third world.
Say, the son of some personality there collects Marvel trading cards... He is only missing a single card, say a Cable card from the '94 Fleer Ultra Set (which I happen to have)... he can offer me 5 barrels of oil and what will I say... all together now... buhbye...
I have the only remaining Marlboro gold stick in the whole wide world and the shah wants a puff... let's just say I'd rather see it soak in a cup of coffee than let him have it.
[Rrrriinnng]... Hello?... Who's this?... Will you stop calling me about the animal hide with my name on it?... It's for me to know and you to stop harassing me with your silly questions... [click]

Ok, I am not totally deluded. I think I am aware why I'm not, what's the word... yes, valid, to go to Iraq. I feel like a maxed out credit card. I didn't know "valid" applied to people in this day and age.

Oh well, I still have 192 countries I'm "valid" to go to.
Stick that up yours Iraq.

(It's the rut talkin' I tell ya)

Panagbenga

2007-02-26T23:31:00.000+08:00

Tis the season of flowers. Tis the season when my fair city is teeming with bonnet wearing lowlanders. Tis the season of water shortage. Tis the season of taxi shortage. Tis the season of traffic. Tis Panagbenga.

Panagbenga is an indigenous word for "a season for blossoming". To anyone who speaks Filipino, pagbunga is a close mnemonic. This is the Eleventh (not so sure) celebration of the Baguio Flower Festival.

I slept mostly through the parades of the festival this year (Ain't I a model citizen?) held yesterday and the day before. The whole hassle of elbowing through a crowd, standing for hours on end, just to get a bare glimpse of the dancing headdresses of participants just wasn't enticing this year. Been there, done that.

The first time we organized an entry for the Street Dancing Competition was in 2000. We were in college, and as if school work wasn't hectic enough, an idea out of somewhere blazed into a communal passion to make something worthwhile. Being true to our natures as T-square wielding egotists, we went with a Caryatid theme. I was rummaging through my files for a whole hour before I started this entry and I couldn't find a single digital picture/scan of our entry that year (Batchmates, I need your negatives, posthaste!) Here's the best I can do...

That was taken (too lazy to scan) from our Batchbook. Caryatids are load bearing statues that carry pendentives, roofs, etc. and were evident in Greek Architecture. Form and Function... A basic premise of Architecture. We used up gallons of latex paint... yes! Latex Paint ON our skin. AND we had to walk under the sun for the length of about 15 (sloping) city blocks. Latex paint turned out to be an excellent exfoliant... It can scrape off three layers of skin! Who needs salon chemical peels, right? A gallon of paint costs way cheaper.

We didn't win (Boo-freakin-hoo), But we did get a lot of media buzz and spectators went gaga over us... (Our short lived careers as white British Royal Guards). I still kept this article written by Leonora Paraan-San Agustin:

Panagbenga: It's Getting Better All The Time
... The SLU-College of Architecture's Caryatids was the "spectacle of the parade". Imagine presenting in flesh instead of marble columns the priestesses of the Temple Diana - goddess of the moon and the hunt - carrying the pendentives of the temple in Karyai, Macedonia of the ancient times. This "palabas" of the parade - starkly white, slow disciplined steps, no facial movements - with mythology as the fountainhead of the marble simulation. It is a triumph of thoughtful planning, faithful reproduction of details and cooperative execution. How often do we get these things together in a project like they did? My compliments to the students and faculty of the St. Louis University College of Architecture, who may not have won the first prize but presented a beautiful spectacle...

She goes on to say that one of the judges said that we lacked choreography and flowers. The judge hasn't heard that "less is more"... your run of the mill douchebag.

A year later, in 2001, we reentered with a vengeance. Not to toot our own horns, but we were pioneers. Almost everyone that year started using body paint. To appease the tasteless judges the year before, we used flowers and choreography ad nauseum.

We won. Whoop-dee-freakin-doo!

2003. We entered for the third and final time just for the heck of it. The theme was inspired by Venetian masks and the Brazilian Carnival.

This is Mina, a close friend of mine. She was our face paint "guinea pig". Painting 30 girls' faces was no easy feat. It may not be noticeable from a distance, but knowing how good they look up close makes up for the hours of preparation.

The girls are such troopers. They had non-wind resistant headdresses that made them act like vertical wind vanes and they weigh a ton! (the headdresses, not the girls), they had to do lifts and formations, they had irritating everlasting flowers close to their skin, and they all did this with smiles (usually genuine) on their faces.

We won.

Last year, I was a judge on the Float Competition. A small scale contest similar to the Pasadena Rose Parade. The floats have improved a lot over the years. There were fewer entries that obviously show the outline of the vehicle used. There were more entries that used more creative uses of flowers and what nots. That year, we chose this float as the winner.

And so I've been there and I've done that. I was more eager this year to watch the Oscars than I was to watch the parades.

Happy Panagbenga all (current and former) Baguio residents, and lovers of my city.

Session Road is closed til Sunday. Joy!

Uppers

2007-02-24T00:49:00.000+08:00

I've been on an enamel paint induced high for the past days. True to the nature of most guppies and friends of Dorothy, I redecorated my room. Goodbye to the butter yellow walls, Au revoir to the familiar specks on my ceiling, and Auf Wiedersehen to the utter lack of closet space.

It all began with the installation of new closets in my room. The light oak wood stain didn't create enough contrast with the yellow walls, the wood stain brush strokes trespassed on my ~~used to be~~ white ceiling and there were hideous Pollockish drops of primer on the floor. I was opening a gallon of white paint and tinters as soon as the carpenters said arrivederci.

Now why would a delicate being as myself paint my own walls? It's a lesson on self empowerment. I've painted with water colors and oils in college, painting on a wall can't be that much different from painting on 11 x 17 art paper...

I was sadly mistaken.

A simple flick of a water color brush creates a distant plateau on a piece of paper, a flick of paint ain't worth shite on a wall, which coincidentally seems a whole lot larger when you use a 2 inch brush. It involves concentration and cardiovascular activity... both are no forte of mine. Imagine balancing on top of a stool AND trying desperately to control your aching arm to paint not only evenly but also making sure you don't encroach on a surface with a different color, all the while wishing you were smoking a Marlboro light because the toxic paint fumes are creeping slowly toward your brain. I ain't no Diego Rivera and I have no aspiration of being one... Painting a wall with just one flat color is hard enough, I'd be out of my head if I ever considered undertaking a Guernica.

I wonder how many ibuprofens Michaelangelo downed every hour while he painted the Sistine Chapel ceiling.
Stiffneck: check
Back pains: check
Drops of paint on face: check
Paint on hair: check
Overall longing for horizontality: check

The paint roller is by far the best human invention! I love it to bits! (If you love it so much, why don't you marry it...)

The ceiling is so pristine white, it's almost virginal. And the walls dried into an awesome vibrant teal color.

I was actually aiming for a different green...

One inspired by one of my fave books by one of my fave authors. The slight error in paint mixing was an unforseen stroke of luck. It works well with the light my room gets during the day time.

There's no high like a paint high. Nope... not the toxic fumes dummy... but the overall king-of-the-world feeling of accomplishment, and a revitalized room to boot. Whoever associated ennui with "watching paint dry" was extremely uninformed.

Ty Pennington... call me.

(Endorphin Rush... Gawd! Is anybody else psyched about The Amazing Race Allstars? I've always loved Boston Rob and Amber from the Survivor series all through their 2nd place finish on TAR. AND the premier of CSI Season 10 AND American Idol Top 24 AND Project Runway 3 AND Heroes Episode 16, although I must say the cliffhanger was a lot like Lost's Ana-Lucia shoots Shannon episode? I intentionally placed this post script in parentheses cause I myself am frightened by how TV obsessed I am)

Save the Cheerleader, Save the World

2007-02-18T18:03:00.000+08:00

Do you:

Watch too much TV?
Like every single Marvel character Stan Lee created?
Love comics and comic book art?
Like how they "humanized" Bruce Wayne in Batman Begins?
Find Milo Ventimiglia's crooked smile sexy?
Think Ali Larter is hot?

You'd probably love this show to the very core of your being:

Heroes takes the formula used in recent Spiderman movies and perfected in Batman Begins... superheroes as relatable people sans yellow tights and "Holy haberdashery, Batman!" catch phrases.

If there is one thing I hate about living in the third world... It's TV show retardation.
The Simpsons - four seasons late
Lost - one season late
Grey's Anatomy - one season late
Project Runway - one season late
Veronica Mars - one season late
Ugly Betty (aka the American Betty La Fea) - still unaired
Heroes - still unaired, although the influx of excellent reviews in the www and the raves of my friends abroad, and some blogger pals (kat) who are fans of the show made me wanna watch it months before normal delayed telecasts.

This is the reason why us hardcore couch potatoes are thankful for the following things:
DBDs (B as in bootleg)
"Applewire"
Shareaza (a recent discovery of mine)

[end of actual post, nothing (but geekiness) follows]

Please turn back now if you find geeks appalling.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

NBC sums the show up as "an epic drama that chronicles the lives of ordinary people who discover they possess extraordinary abilities." Heroes features an ethnically diverse cast similar to Lost whose characters are/will be interconnected... and also like Lost, the show thrives on cliffhangers AND eye candy for the boyses and the girlses. The early episodes of the show where the numerous characters are discovering and mastering their talents is reminiscent of Smallville. [Spoiler Alert]

The Heroes

(from left to right)

Matt Parkman, The Policeman, Los Angeles
Think of him as a pudgier Jean Grey without the red hair and the love triangle with Cyclops and Wolverine (Ability: telepathy)
Humanized: Feelings of inadequacy, a rocky marriage
The Actor: Greg Grunberg, one of the most charismatic actors (always with supporting roles) I know and adore. He was in Felicity and Alias.

Hiro Nakamura, The Comic Relief, Tokyo
Think of him as a cuter, anime-ish Mother Askani or Fitzroy (Ability: time travel, teleportation)
Humanized: wide-eyed naivete, language barriers
The Actor: Masi Oka, you've probably seen him in Austin Powers in Goldmember as the japanese tourist who delivered the Godzilla copyright line. I don't think I've ever seen a japanese actor with a main role in any American TV show yet... It's refreshing. And, he also worked as a CGI artist before acting.

Claire Bennet, The Cheerleader who must be saved, Texas
Think of her as a blonde female Wolverine without the hairy chest and adamantium claws (Ability: regeneration)
Humanized: An adopted daughter, struggling with teenhood (acne, schoolwork and cliques are bad enough... try adding invinsibility to the mix)
The Actress: Hayden Panettiere was adorable in Remember the Titans and as the long lost donated egg/ daughter of Ally Mcbeal.

Peter Petrelli, The Dreamer, NYC
Think of him as a less volatile Rogue with the sexiest crooked smile. (Ability: Power Mimicry)
Humanized: Door mat tendencies, being "the other brother"
The Actor: Milo Ventimigla (I just love how his name is uttered) was in Gilmore Girls and was Rocky Balboa, Jr. (Never saw a Rocky movie after the first one)

Nathan Petrelli, The Politician, NYC
Think of him as Superman without the cape and the physical super strength, but with a mafia money run political campaign. (Ability: Flight)
Humanized: Guilt for his wife's permanent attachment to a wheelchair, extra-marital affairs
The Actor: Adrian Pasdar was in Top Gun (never saw it) and he has such a picture perfect smile... it must be special effects.

Mohinder Suresh, The Geneticist, India
Think of him as a non-bald, non-handicapped, non-telepathic Professor X (Ability: None)
Well he does have the ability to track the "heroes" with an algorithm his deceased father invented.
The Actor: Sendhil Ramamurthy has such a pristine voice, every enunciated syllable resonating.

Niki Sanders (aka Jessica), The Modern Mom, Las Vegas
Think of her as a blonde, non-green female Incredible Hulk. (Ability: Superhuman Strength)
Humanized: Split personality disorder ala Dr. Jekyl and Mr Hide, making ends meet, a missing husband, a son
The Actress: Who could forget Ali Larter in the first two gory Final Destination movies?

Micah Sanders, The Kid Genius, Las Vegas
Think of him as a pint-sized... (insert appropriate X-men hear) say Cable (barely) with the most adorable curly hair. (Ability: Technopathy, e.g. he can withdraw cash from an ATM by merely touching it)
Humanized: having his mom, Niki, arrested for murder and framing his father, D.L. (talk about a rocky childhood)
The Actor: Noah Gray-Cabey is an actual genius, he started playing the piano when he was eighteen months old (Gawd, I was barely able to do Integral Calculus at that age)

D.L. Hawkins, The Fugitive, Las Vegas
Think of him as a bald Kitty Pride/ Shadowcat. (Ability: Phasing, he can walk through one foot thick walled jail cells)
Humanized: see his wife, Niki, and son, Micah.
The Actor: Leonard Roberts, he had a season long role as a member of the Initiative in Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Isaac Mendez, The Painter, NYC
Think of him as a hot latino version of the Oracle (The Matrix) who eyes go pupil-less ala Storm when he invokes his powers. (Ability: Animal magnetism, rawr!... errr... Precognition)
Humanized: heroin addiction, artistic passion
The Actor: Santiago Cabrera is a middle child... We're so MFEO, don't you think?

Simone Deveaux, The Lucky Girl who gets to make out with both Peter AND Isaac, NYC
(Ability: None) nuf said.

Of course, there's still HRG (Horn-Rimmed Glasses) aka Mr. Bennet and his sidekick, The Haitian. And numerous other characters (which could have made this post go on and on and on...)

If you read this post, Congratulations! You've successfully seen me transformed from this:

to this:

An excellent achievement (insert forced smile) Woo Hoo!

Perhaps Comic Book Guy is my Jessica Sanders? Gawd, I hope not... he has receding hair.

Speaking of The Simpsons Characters, here's a classic from the extremely uninformed Chief Wiggum:

"Some Chinese people claimed they were celebrating New Year's... in February!!! ... good food though"

Happy Chinese New Year Everyone! Hope the Fire Pig brings everyone good health and success.

14 13 Cardio Songs

2007-02-14T15:50:00.000+08:00

What's the second most depressing day (after Christmas) humanity has ever concocted? Your next twenty faux birthday (add decades as necessary) Mine is still months away... but the idea of adding another candle on the cake just makes me wanna spontaneously combust.
I love Valentine's (That just sounds awfully redundant) Sure, there's the obvious cheesiness, the influx of cookie-cutter red hearts and cupids on every possible vertical surface, the unabashed juvenile expressions of unfounded eternal love and the hard-to-escape, sickening scent of phoniness in the air... BUT what other holiday (or semblance of a holiday) lets you ~~over~~indulge in the greatest, most important and revolutionary human invention of all time? sweet, sweet chocolate. You gotta love the Mayans and Aztecs for cultivating it... I am willing to overlook the fear inducing notion of Apocalypto and the human sacrifices.

It's gonna go straight to my thighs.

Let's pretend I'm Hiro Nakamura (Heroes, NBC... Yey! I've finally caught up with the TV watching audience of the west) I have the uncanny ability of moving through space and time:

(Insert sound of thunder to convey the actual moment of teleportation)

13 Cardio Songs

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

My phoniness/ BS meter will be ringing like crazy tomorrow. I've seen a couple of teens holding long stemmed roses this morning and it seems an outbreak of heart-shaped red cartolinas has hit the metro... Valentine's is upon us. I'm afraid to tune in to the radio for fear I'll hear some cheesy Barry Manilowish song... It took me 6 electro-shock therapy sessions to get these types of songs out of my brain.

The second thirteen of the year... I almost wasn't able to make this post. (I've been so friggin busy!!! It's not even funny any more)

13 Songs With Heart in the Title that I Heart... (aka... If I put "Achy Breaky Heart on this list, I'll pull the trigger myself")

1. Heart Shaped Box - Nirvana, In Utero (1993)
"Throw down your umbilical noose, so I can climb back"
Kurt Cobain is a genius. He wrote Heart Shaped Box in five minutes... inside a closet. The song is said to be about female genitalia (see: Sexual Personae, Paglia), but like all great songs, it speaks on many other levels. Courtney Love (Hole), his wife, courted Cobain with a heart-shaped box. The same heart shaped box is now in Love's possession holding Cobain's suicide letter and a lock of his hair.

2. Piece of my Heart - Janis Joplin, Cheap Thrills (1968)
"Break another little bit of my heart now, darling"
Originally done by Erma Franklin, Aretha's younger sister, it was covered by Big Brother & the Holding Company... one of Janis Joplin's early bands. Joplin sang this song at Woodstuck in 1969. Like many great artists, she died at a young age, 27, OD-ing on heroin.

3. Total Eclipse of the Heart - Bonnie Tyler, Faster than the Speed of Night (1983)
"I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark, We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks"
I know this ranks high on the cheesiness level. But I love it. Tyler's surgery induced raspy voice, the Bohemian Rhapsodyish feel of the song, the "turn around bright eyes" back-up vocals... This was tailor made for drunken karaoke. The song was supposedly inspired by Bronte's Wuthering Heights. Max Weinberg of Late Night with Conan O' Brien played drums on this track.

4. Heart of Glass - Blondie, Parallel Lines (1978)
"Once I had a love and it was divine, Soon found out I was losing my mind"
All hail Debbie Harry, the badass blonde chick that defined new wave chic. This song sounds a little different from the normal punk rock Blondie songs like "Call Me" or "One Way or Another", they infused elements of disco, the polar opposite of new wave during that time, to create a fusion that infuriated many of their fans. They call it "the disco song". I love all songs with synthesizers written before 1986.

5. Listen to your Heart - Roxette, Look Sharp! (1988)
"I know there's something in the wake of your smile. I get a notion when I look in your eyes"
Gotta love this Swedish duo especially the androgynous Marie Fredriksson. This ranks as one of my fave break-up (or anti-break-up) songs. I wonder if stethoscope med reps ever thought of using this as a campaign jingle... it's perfect, no?

6. Kickin my Heart Around - The Black Crowes, By Your Side (1999)
"Just come out and say it, spit the words out of your mouth. It needs no explaining, cuz we both felt it go south"
One of my fave American bands of all time mostly because of Chris Robinson's awesome voice. For younger readers who haven't heard of him, he is Kate Hudson's ex-husband and... Gavin deGraw sounds a lot like him. They have a soul-y bluesy sound that just makes you wanna sing along to their music (to the best of your ability) Listen to "Remedy" and "She Talks to Angels". This particular track "Kickin..." has some funky "hu, hu, hu, hu" back-up vocals in the bridge reminiscent of Tina Turner's cover of the Creedence Clearwater Revival song "Proud Mary". I can't wait for the release of their supposed 2007 album.

7. Young Hearts Run Free - Candi Station (1976)
"Love only breaks up, to start over again. You'll get the babies, but you won't have your man"
If the intro of this song doesn't give you the urge to jive ala Night Fever, you ain't got a disco bone in your body. I just love songs, like this, that combine perky melodies with depressing lyrics.

8. Just Take My Heart - Mr. Big, Lean Into It (1991)
"It's late at night and neither one of us is sleeping, I can't imagine my life after you're gone"
Between the cheesy lyrics, the catchy chorus and the guitar shredding, this is another awesome break-up song... comes off a little suicidal/ end-of-the-world-ish, but we've all been there. The name worked oh so well on Chris Noth in Sex and the City, but I must say it's one of the worst band names to date... I still have no idea why they named their band as such (I wonder if the reason is phallic)

9. Alone - Heart, Bad Animals (1987)
"Til now, I always got by on my own, I never really cared until I met you"
This is my definition of a power ballad. Ann Wilson can sing the hell out of this song, and she can play the flute too! The general feel of the song is stiff and cold until Ann reaches the first part of the chorus. It's hard to believe a woman with such a powerful voice suffered from a stutter when she was a girl. (Ok, so "heart" doesn't really appear on the song's name... but what's a heart song list without Heart?)

10. Groove is in the Heart - Deee Lite, World Clique (1990)
"My supperdish, my succotash wish (Sing it Baby) I couldn't ask for another"
Whenever I hear this awesome song, I always get the feeling Austin Powers or Andy Warhol will appear out nowhere to dance. It's groovy baby. Three DJs make up the band headed by vocalist and psychedelic fashion extraordinaire, Lady Miss Kier.

11. Foolish Heart - Steve Perry, Street Talk (1984)
"But will my heart play the part of the fool again, before I begin.."
This came off Perry's first album after he left Journey.
Cornball undertones - check
Talking to inanimate objects - check
Perfect post break-up, entering into a new relationship song.

12. Victim of a Foolish Heart - Joss Stone, The Soul Sessions (2003)
"Now she's back to rekindle that old flame, she's got a different angle, baby... but she's playing the same old game" Gawd, this white girl can sing! I instantly fell in love with her music after I heard the joyous Super Duper Love. She is very Bohemian, almost always singing barefoot in performances and she's a vegan too.

13. Heal me, I'm Heartsick - No Vacancy, School of Rock OST (2003)
"Father, free me. Mama, woman, feed me"
No Vacancy is the fictional band of Adam Pascal in the movie. Adam played Roger in Rent: The Movie. He has a stellar voice. School of Rock is a great movie. Directed by one of my fave directors, Richard Linklater... starring two great comedians, Jack Black and Joan Cusack... a loose Sister Act storyline infused with The Ramones and guitar solos... The first known movie where Led Zeppelin allowed one of their songs to be included in a soundtrack (after a petition spearheaded by Black and Linklater)... What's not to like?

If you want mp3s of any of these songs, just e-mail me at:

alternati_sheol[at]yahoo[dot]com

My Valentine's to anyone.

I wonder how can I teleport back to the fourteenth... It's not written in the Hiro Nakamura manual. hmmm...

The Sun gods are Coercing Me to Diurnalism

2007-02-03T19:55:00.000+08:00

1 week ago

I awake to the sound of xylophones. I detest xylophones. The ringing sound it makes when hit by those gavels with orb heads irks me. Plus, the resonating metallic sound stays in the air way longer than you want them to, like visiting distant relatives (aka strangers you have blood relations with). A couple of gradeschool girls living in the apartment below me decided to spend their Saturday practicing the Panagbenga (Baguio Festival celebrating the blooming of flowers) theme. And they decided to do it within an earshot of my window. Fabulous! Nothing like waking up to a perky tune provoking images of chrysanthemums and butterflies! Joy! Glockenspiel! Heilige Scheisse!!!

I never really got why these handheld xylophones are called lyres (ala a Drum and Lyre band in parades) A real lyre is strummed not hit with mallets, it looks likes this:

Apollo

(Apollo is the god of archers and light. He became the Greek god of the sun when he became more popular than Helios)

4 days ago

I awake to my mom's hollering. My mom doesn't yell... she hollers. She woke me up because the carpenter who would be installing new cabinets in my room arrived (sooner than I anticipated) I had to drag my sorry underslept ass out of bed to explain the work he'd be doing in my room. I can barely read the dimensions on the drawing I made the night before let alone utter an intelligible statement, but I got the idea across (I think)

In Babylonian mythology, Nin-ildu is the carpenter god, and as fate would have it... he carries the pure axe of the sun. He is a servitor to Shamash, the Babylonian sun god.

Shamash

Yesterday

I awake to car horns. I presume its a tourist. No Baguio resident would honk their horn that loudly at 7 in the morning... for fear of excommunication. The Loakan Road is relatively distant from my window, a smoke chugging Philex Peterbelt wouldn't disturb me from my slumber. But on that particular morning, the incessant honking shook me to waking life. The rowdy passengers made it clear there was no apparent emergency.

This will be quite a long connection to a sun deity. Here it goes. Peregrinus in Latin means foreigner/ tourist. A peregrine falcon is named as such because of it's habit of migration and it is one of the fastest creatures on earth. (Speed and foreignness) The Egyptian sun god Ra is often depicted as having the head of a Falcon.

I wonder what the other sun deities have in store for me.
Sol (Norse sun goddess)
Amaterasu (Japanese sun goddess)
Surya (chief Hindu sun deity)
Huitzilopochtli (Aztec sun god)

Tonight

These attempts at rousing me early only succeeded in making me wake up even later. I just doze off right after I wake up. I am a snoozer.

However, the sun gods seem to be plotting something with the moon gods. Last night we had a scheduled city-wide power outage from 10 pm to 6 am. I didn't wanna lose my eye sight reading Faulkner over candlelight and it was too cold outside to even entertain the idea of a night out in some generator-powered bar. So, the nocturnal deities, coerced me into sleeping early... I was sawing logs before midnight. The whole of Baguio will have the same scheduled power outage again tonight. I guess if they can't wake me up early... they chose plan B, which is to make me sleep early. They can't possibly schedule a black-out every single night... right?

The electricity will be out in 3... 2... 1... *bleep*

[EDIT]

The black out didn't happen Satturday night. I guess my offering of first-borns pleased the gods (or BENECO at least) :P

[EDIT]

A Fork in the Road

2007-01-30T20:59:00.000+08:00

It is frEEEEzing here in Baguio the past two days. Anyways...

-------

Which of these have you watched?

Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song
Bart: I thought I'd be jumping for joy the day Skinner got fired. Now all I have is this weird hot feeling in the back of my head.
Lisa: That's guilt. You feel guilty because your stunt wound up costing a man his job.
Bart: I guess it is guilt.
(Useless Trivia: In the opening sequence of this episode, Bart writes: "I will not celebrate meaningless milestones")

The One with the Triplets
Chandler: So, uh, now that little Chandler turned out to be a girl, what are they gonna name her?
Phoebe: They're gonna call her Chandler.
Chandler: That's kind of a masculine name, don't you think?
Phoebe: Works on you.
(Useless Trivia: The other two babies' names are Leslie and Frank Jr, Jr (not a typo. :P )

3 Sing
Fantasia: Chain of Fools, Fool In Love, The Greatest Love of All
Diana: Ain't No Mountain High Enough, Because You Love Me, Don't Cry Out Loud
Jasmine: Saving All My Love For You, Mr. Melody, All By Myself
(Need I remind all y'all who got booted the following episode? (who should've been axed earlier?))

What the...? Part I
Survivor: Pearl Islands. Return of the outcasts. The best twist the show offered.
(Useless Trivia: Sandra Diaz-Twine won this season)

It's Not Over Until Phil Sings
The Amazing Racers break bottles over each others heads at the sound of a cuckoo clock in Munich. All this to get the next clue. BJ and Tyler eventually won this season.
(Useless Trivia: The detour was called "Break it or Slap it")

Ch-Ch-Changes
Grissom: I thought you'd want to know what happened to Wendy.
Mimosa: I appreciate you telling me. Killed by someone in our community. As is we don't have enough enemies. Her parents never understood her, but still I think they should know. What do I say?
Grissom: Show them an oyster.
Mimosa: I'm sorry?
Grissom: There are two types of male oysters, and one of them can change genders at will. And before man crawled out of the muck, maybe he had the same option. Maybe originally we were supposed to be able to switch genders, and being born with just one sex... is a mutation
(Useless Trivia: Kate Walsh, Dr. Addison of Grey's Anatomy, plays Mimosa)

Centennial Charmed
Phoebe: Cole?
Paige: I'm telling you, he's gone for good.
Phoebe: Yeah, that's what we thought last time.
Piper: And the time before that.
Paige: This time is different. He straddled two worlds just like I did, but he wasn't invincible there. Cole's not coming back ever.
Piper: It just feels far too easy. I don't know how I feel about that.
Paige: I think you should feel good about it, you know? We don't have to look over our shoulder's anymore. It's over.
Phoebe: (picking up a photo of her and Cole) I guess it just wasn't meant to be.
Piper: Let's go.
Paige: Happy Birthday, Cole.

The Gift

Buffy Ann Summers
1981-2001
Devoted Sister
Beloved Friend
She Saved The World...
A Lot

There's Only One Sydney Bristow
Will gets abducted. Sydner ends her maternal leave prematurely to join her posse to do some old school espionage. T minus five (episodes) until series finale.

One Hundred Tears
Ally Mcbeal: I feel like I've known you forever.
Havrvey Hall: Ally, I'm not dying. I mean, I might be. But not today
(Ally talking to a man she was defending who believed he can fly)

SCORES:
0 - Have you seen a TV?
1 - 4 - Not Bad... not bad at all
5 - 8 - Close, but no cigar.
9 - 10 - Welcome to the couch potato club, I am your sponsor.

(Ok, ok... I am being biased with the 90's to 2000 TV watching generations)

And what, you say, is the point of this post? The 100th episode usually entails a shift in the direction of a TV show, some for the worse... some for the better. These are the 100th episodes of some of my the shows I watch/ed like a friggin stalker. (the list is a lot longer but there's only so much TV I can blog about) Some of the other shows I really like ended just before they reached the milestone (Sex and the City, Ed) and some are yet to reach this fork in the road.

I just did.

Ok, ok... juxtaposing a free blog with a multi-million dollar TV series is a tad ambitious... But I am (most times)

If you haven't caught my drift yet... this is my 100th post.

Woo Hoo!

I will not celebrate meaningless milestones I will not celebrate meaningless milestones I will not celebrate meaningless milestones I will not celebrate meaningless mi

--------

My favorite Bard's 100th Sonnet

Where art thou, Muse, that thou forget'st so long
To speak of that which gives thee all thy might?
Spend'st thou thy fury on some worthless song,
Darkening thy power to lend base subjects light?
Return, forgetful Muse, and straight redeem
In gentle numbers time so idly spent;
Sing to the ear that doth thy lays esteem
And gives thy pen both skill and argument.
Rise, resty Muse, my love's sweet face survey,
If Time have any wrinkle graven there;
If any, be a satire to decay,
And make Time's spoils despised every where.
Give my love fame faster than Time wastes life;
So thou prevent'st his scythe and crooked knife.

Spent Spending

2007-01-28T22:48:00.000+08:00

Ruminations on a one day trip to Divisoria (aka my feet ache so badly I think they're gonna fall off)

Spending is such an odd word. Try saying it thrice and it loses meaning.
Bus conductors have excellent memory and superhuman balance in moving vehicles. I can't, for the life of me, imagine working as a long distance bus driver or conductor... Traveling the same route back and forth for n times a day. I'd be bored out of my mind! Although I must say driving a double decker is extremely enticing. I wonder if I'd be more confident driving a bus than I do a sedan or an SUV.
Chowking, from multiple taste tests, has the most scrumptious Danggit and the best Tofu.
"So this is how the world looks like at 6 in the morning... meh"
I've been to Divisoria twice before and the whole layout of the place still doesn't make sense to me, even after I looked it up on Wikimapia. Baguio's swerving streets are fairly easy to navigate, and most of Manila is planned with a gridiron pattern. Divisoria's streets however are a concrete and asphalt chop suey. The road signs (when available) aren't clearly visible, although my poor navigation skills would find no real use for them if they were. It isn't much different from Rome if you think about it. Replace the Tiber with the Pasig River, replace the Pantheon with the Tutuban mall, the Trevi fountain with leaking hydrants, gelato with dirty ice cream, "Quanto?"s with "Magkano?"s and you've got Divisoria. (oh, and add the smell of "cockroaches" ala Claire Danes... olfactory prude b*tch)
Divisoria is so chaotic... I love it to pieces. Aside from the streets (or lack thereof) the place is teeming with people. People walking, people running, people getting conked on the head by the massive sidemirrors of delivery trucks with drivers who have a compulsion to honk every three minutes. Honk and conk. Honk and conk.
Calamares tastes excellent with adobo if you're really really exhausted.
Here, 6 pieces is considered wholesale.
"Wait! this costs thrice in (insert overpricing mall here)!!!
Piracy has a class system according to apparent resemblance with the original. It takes a CSI to determine genuine Fendi bags or Hugo perfumes in these parts.
Small retractable trolleys cost 300 pesos (6 dollars)... believe me you'll need one (or two) Do you have any idea how much 140 pieces of box board weigh??? Let's just say, I was this close (making an action with my thumb and forefinger) making a collect call to Phil Pfister.
Even the most comfortable Chuck Taylors (mine) and Hushpuppies (ate Pam's) fail you if you walk all day. Masseuse!
When going to Divisoria for bulk shopping... go in droves. Ate Pam and I were contemplating how we could have possibly done the whole trip without my Dad and her brother. Elbow grease! That and my Dad is a supernatural navigator.
I have newfound respect for rickshaw ~~drivers~~ pedallers. Two carried all of us and all the boxes and bags and bales we bought to the terminal. There were no other accessible forms of transportation. Ate Pam and I must've looked terribly ridiculous when we see-sawed back and forth trying vainly to add some momentum to the struggling pedicab. We didn't notice because we were laughing our asses off.
A sore butt from a five to six hour bus ride makes everyone cranky.
I am stymied by people who watch Steven Seagal movies. There are people who actually like him? Gawd... degradation of the species. His name conjures images of birds in my mind. Especially those who say "mine, mine, mine" on the Sydney Harbor in Finding Nemo... stoic, and not the fashion forward super model stoicism nor the helpless botox induced stoicism. It's the "I don't have talent and/or thoughts in my brain and/or nerve endings on my face" type of visage. One was shown on the bus back to Baguio, it was the perfect sedative.
"It's a small world..." It's interesting... I usually ride Victory Liner buses, but on this rare occasion, me and ate Pam rode on a Genesis one because the station is closer to our destination. And it just so happens a highschool buddy of mine was on the same bus going home. He saw me smoking in one of the stop-overs. I forgot to mention that also during the Sagada trip, in the heart of the Sumaging Cave, I met a friend of mine from primary school as well. Is the world shrinking?
Divisoria should be on a tourist's itinerary. It's one of those gems only a few foreign tourists get to see. Don't ask me why it's called "the dividing line"... The answer was probably explained during one of my history classes while I was reading Scott Summers and Jean Grey's third attempt at a wedding... (Silver Surfer will be in the next Fantastic 4 movie! Can't wait! I wonder if Galactus tries to make the world a kebab)

This is Divisoria as the Silver Surfer might have seen it from his board.

Soy Un Perdedor

2007-01-22T23:10:00.000+08:00

Will tagged me with an "I never" meme. It's basically writing ten things you'd never do.

At first I thought the meme was like the "I never" drinking game (someone says a statement starting with "I never..." and whoever hasn't done it drinks a shot of the alcohol of choice... preferably tequilla) I never really got drunk when we played this. I've always believed in trying anything at least once (well everything except dog meat)

Hence, my mental list of things I'd never do border on absurd and/or amoral (killing someone with a dull samurai, coal mining, wearing spandex, getting a Winnie the Pooh tattoo, sticking chopsticks into my eyes, getting a gym membership, swandiving from Taipei 101, etc etc etc)

So instead of enumerating things noone in their right mind would ever do, I'm listing the 10 things I can't do:

I can't whistle. I know I'm pathetic. Try being a five year old watching Snow white and the Seven Dwarfs, discovering you can't do a basic human skill when they start singing Whistle While you Work... It's devastating.
I can't swim. If living in Baguio has any disadvantage, it's the absence of a beach. Many Baguio residents like me are born anchors. Buoyancy eludes us. But we do try... "Alternati Greenleaf long under tree, In joy thou hast lived. Beware of the Sea! If thou hearest the cry of the gull on the shore, Thy heart shall rest in the forest no more."
I can't play the piano. Something is haywire between my brain hemispheres. The Piano: I can read notes... I can play the piano with my right hand... and my left... combine them together and what do you get? the sound of a cat running across the keys.
I can't play the guitar. I look like I'm having seizures when I do try to do any chord requiring a bar. Those who can't, collect and admire.
I can't keep a pet alive for more than a month. Don't worry I never really owned a four legged critter, just a number of aquarium fishes and an imaginary hippo.
I can't write with my left hand. Ambidexterity has become a frustration since I saw The Wisdom of Crocodiles.
I can't keep a written journal. Stacks of journals occupy one of my storage spaces. Each has a maximum of 20 entries... the time intervals between entries occur in a geometric progression to infinity. Thank gawd for blogging!
I can't drive alone (yet) I'm a big scaredy cat behind the wheel... especially when I'm infront of a semi or a Philex Peter Belt.
(Addenda to #8) I can't go from one place to another without consulting a map or asking a gazillion "Where is..."s and "Enshuldigung, Is this the way to..."s. Like 3rdwill, road signs appear to be written in hieroglyphics and directions in cuneiform.
I can't shoot a basketball even if the fate of the world depended on it. (Go Mavs!)

Nothing like a list of your incapabilities to boost self esteem! "Soy un Perdedor... I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me..."

The tag ends here. I can't get Beck's song out of my head now...

Me Likey 003

2007-01-21T02:28:00.000+08:00

Been busy as a frantic, multi-tasking bee. It's been more than a week since my last entry... my urge to post is a lot like the need (yes, need) to smoke after watching a Coldplay concert (or at least how I'd imagine the magnitude of the urge would be) My latest tenant came and went without a welcome post (Bad lessor!) and reply to comments and return visits are way overdue.

I wonder why all our clients at the office are adamant to build something at the beginning of the year. Anyways, Here's a hint of the other thing that's keeping me real busy (the good kind of busy)

I'll ~~advertis~~e talk more about it when we've had the chance to finish the website.

Me likey the view from the place we are renting for the business we're putting up. This is Session Road at night. I love this sloping stretch of asphalt and concrete. It's been a witness to my (and many other Baguio residents') life. Nothing can clear your head better than a ~~hike~~ stroll up this 30 degree (give or take) road.

Me likey the ink flow system we purchased for the business. It does make the printer look like it's hooked to an IV but you can print to your heart's content (Replace dextrose or your choice of intravenous sedatives with black, cyan, magenta and yellow ink)

Me likey the sudoku game I downloaded for my Palm. No more No. 2 Mongol pencils with treacherous red erasers.

Me likey my second batch of bootleg DVDs for my traditional oscar marathon for the year. My friendly neighborhood pirates finally have a copy of Perfume: The Story of a Murderer. When I asked for this movie before, I was constantly given a quizzical look or referred to a stall with nauseous Chanel and Bvlgari imitations (don't even ask me how they reacted when I wanted to buy a copy of Borat!)

Also on my movie backlog are The Queen and Dreamgirls. I loved Helen Mirren in Calendar Girls but does anyone else think she looks like Sir Ian Mckellen in drag in the movie poster? In Dreamgirls, I wanna see why the HFPA gave Jennifer Hudson the golden globe over Cate Blanchett! I did like Ms. Hudson in American Idol (especially when she wore that pink dress) but I ~~adore~~ worship Galadriel. Speaking of AI, have you seen the latest batch of William Hungs?

I only wonder when I'll have the free time to watch them...

And finally, Me likey the holiday postcard the lovable che sent me. With e-mails, instant messaging and text messaging, I can't remember the last time I received something through snail mail. I was more than ecstatic when I found it mixed with the bills. It's a postcard of Schloss Lustheim. The butter yellow walls remind me a lot of the Sans Soucci castle in Potsdam (and my near "fall" into one of its fountains) Danke Che! Me lovey!!!

13 Places to See (aka Sagada 02)

2007-01-13T23:07:00.000+08:00

When my 13th post meets my second post on Sagada. Brace yourself for an even longer post...

Something in the air in Sagada made a nocturnal like me retire way before midnight and rouse before a two digit AM time. I guess the anticipation of seeing the sites of Sagada help a lot in awakening even the worst of sleepy heads. Here are 13 places you must visit when in Sagada.

1. The Sagada Municipal Hall
Okey, this isn't really an exciting start, more of a necessity primarily because of the Sagada Tourist Info Center. This is where you can find guides for all the tourist destinations (see: caves) It's best to drop by the Municipal Hall when you arrive, so you can inquire to your heart's extent. You'll also have to pay a very minimal environmental fee (less than 10 pesos per person) I wonder how such a miniscule amount can contribute to ecological purposes...

2. The Sugong Coffins
One of the cliffs with "hanging coffins", a local burial (ok the term doesn't apply) tradition. You can see the wooden coffins on the lower left side of the rock face. Our immediate question was "how?" and the locals didn't really give us clear cut answers so we formulated a procedure involving catapults and harnesses. And of course the next question is "why?", like all great human traditions, the answer to such a question is often hazy and subjective, but it's this ambiguity that makes such traditions great.

3. The Sumaging Caves
This is one of the three main caves in Sagada discovered (according to a rock along the entry path) in 1966. I have only been to one other cave in my lifetime, and it's liliputian compared to this one. A guide is required to enter the caves and I promise you... you will need them. Our guides were Raffy and Tots. If your guides are/were/will be as great as these two, you won't feel an ounce of claustrophobia, you'll always have a lit path and "Romeo and Juliet" (stalagmites) will hold a whole new meaning.

Us at the King's Curtains.

The inside of the Sumaging is ~~almost~~ otherworldly. It's how I would have imagined Moria pre-orc/balrog occupation... I developed a kinship with Gimli.

Ems scaling a knotted rope, other tourists in the background

There is a junction halfway through the cave with imaginary signs: "Hard --->" and "<--- Easy". Of course we took the hard route, we never doing anything half-assed. We had to hold on to ropes, crawl thru guano and limbo under stalactites... we were shrieking the whole way through, I think our guides developed ear infections. We had to wade in really cold (and I mean polar bear cold) water, and our guides were so great, they placed our cameras in their bags and held them with such skill, the bags not only never touched water but the guides did it with a cigarette in one hand... hahaha. You gotta give the six of us, who don't work out at all, credit for accomplishing such a feat. Although I must say, the notion of working out did, for a moment, appeal to me when a couple of 10 year olds overtook me on the hike up.
This is us on a pitstop to the cave entry. It never occurred to me until I was hiking and gasping for air that every step (or misstep) I take toward the heart of the cave is every step I have to make out of it... uphill! But aching muscles aside, it was worth the trip.
Guide rates: 1 - 3 persons = 300 pesos; 4 - 5 = 400 pesos; 6 = 600 pesos... I didn't really see the rates for more people, these rates available at the Municipal Hall
The Gates of ~~Moria~~ Sumaging Caves close at 5 pm.

4. Mount Kiltepan
I'm not really good with estimating kilometer long distances, so let's just say Mt. Kiltepan is a tad far from the town center. You could take a leisurely hike to the apex through berry bearing bushes, but if you and uphill walks don't mesh well, like us, you can hire a local jeep at negotiable prices. From the top of Kiltepan the view of the rice terraces is undescribable.

5. Rice Terraces
All together... "Magtanim ay di biro..." I wanna see them during harvest time.

6. Big Falls
Locally called "Bomod-ok". All we saw of the big falls is the top (upper right) Our driver/tourist guide, Dexter, told us it's a 1 hour 45 minute hike downhill (and 3 Jupiter years uphill)... I know, we were such pansies. Then, more than ever did I wish I could move mountains telekinetically.

7. Small Falls
Locally called "Bokkong". Since we didn't see the Big one, we settled for the small one, which is only 15 minutes downhill (why is everything downhill?) It may not be as tall as a skyscraper but we loved it nonetheless.

8. Campo Santo
The Sagada Cemetery. Ferdz blogged about a tradition of burning bonfires instead of candles during All Saints' Day. His post here.

9. Echo Valley
Just a short walk from Campo Santo. It really does echo (especially if you use words that rhyme with "you") More hanging coffins can be seen on the cliffs here.

10. Church of St. Mary the Virgin
The shot is pretty dark... the church is very near the Municipal Hall. Inside, the rose window looks like a miniature of the one in Notre Dame de Paris.

11. The local Caltex

12. The Bilig Cafe
It's located right behind the Municipal Hall. We were really planning to eat at the Shamrock cafe whose spaghetti is raved about in Baguio, but ut sort of relocated here while the cafe is being renovated. Inside Bilig, look up. I've never seen such a wide collection of vintage postcards on a ceiling before. Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix, Kurt Cobain... I love it, my neck just felt stiff afterwards.

13. Souvenir Shops
I got all sorts of souvenirs but this printed shirt above is my fave.

Sagada 01 - Living Under On A Rock

2007-01-10T01:14:00.000+08:00

We finally got the new improved WiFi service at home. I have a whole new appreciation for the ionosphere and how it allows us to use it as a a wave-bouncing mechanism (yes, that's my technical term) Gawd I missed surfing at this speed. I was living under a rock, literally, when the Taiwan earthquake occured so I never knew about the whole subterranean thingy until i got back to the office, days later. What better way to celebrate the return to the internet speed of sound mind than to upload pictures in Photobucket. Light years reduced to light reading while they upload.

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Brace yourself for a long post

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It was midnight and I was stuffing clothes in my supposed Amazing Race backpack. I always pack better under pressure, plus the caffeine from the hot peppermint coffee I had with some friends an hour earlier was still in my system. 6 hours later and no sleep, I was with my fellow spelunkers in an ordinary bus leaving the station for Sagada. (Let me blabber on some more while the pictures load on your browser... I did my best to minimize the number of pics) Sagada is in the Mountain Province and is about 5 and a half hours away from Baguio (approximately 11 hours from Manila) There are no air-conditioned buses to Sagada but with the cool weather, it would just be downright ridiculous not to mention ozone-unfriendly.

That's me on the right clad in my idea of a Sagada tourist outfit and that's Tine on the left, a close friend/ officemate. Notice our matching Sayote colored tops. I felt adamant about posting pictures on the net because of that hilarious forwarded e-mail of a kid whose face was plastered onto this and that. (Don't you get any ideas, I know where you live and if I see my face on a Teletubby, you'll find me knocking on your door with a broad sword)

The first two thirds of the road to Sagada is paved with concrete. It always amazes me how roads are built along mountainsides and how such a feat is accomplished. People with altophobia should opt for the aisle seat, let's just say the sensation of being on the window seat is like being a jumper who glides sideways around the edge of a skyscraper. The last third of the road, somewhere in a low point of the route where the road is side by side with the Chico river, is a bot more arduous. "Rough road" is an understatement. It's like headbanging in a mosh pit without hearing the Sex Pistols. There is also a constant plume of yellowish dust that follows, and at times enters, the bus. I just loved that last third of the ride, it felt like I was riding with Thelma and Louise without the swan dive off the cliff.

Breathtaking huh? A landscape that fuses form and function.

Me, Tine, Itang, Chibe, Fio and Ems

The Rock Inn. I highly recommend a stay here when you visit Sagada. It is 2 or 3 kilometers from the Poblacion (town proper) depending on which sign you look at. It is nestled in a valley accessed only by yet another rough road. It is so desolate that when you look out from any of their balconies all you see are the silhoutte of the surrounding trees and the stars. No Globe cellphone signal in these parts, just Smart (which I detest) The rooms smell great, all the surfaces (walls, floor, ceiling) and the furniture in the rooms are made of pine... the genuine smell of pine, not the fake scented tree cut-outs in cars (like the one on the rearview mirror of the Ocean's 11 SWAT van) The picture above is taken from a natural rock formation (hence the name of the inn) An orchard of Sagada oranges on the right.

View from our room, a couple of huts and the Dap-ay where there's a bonfire every night. The first night we sat around the fire as a German, a Filipina and a Swede (I think) talked about politics... we didn't linger too long. The second night we went all kumbaya singing classic early 90's rock songs with an infectious, guitar-strumming pothead. I wasn't able to score a joint. Boo hoo.

The Cafe Bodega. The Rock Inn's cafe. Modern use of indigenous materials. Notice the use of cribs and vegetable containers as lighting fixtures.

Outdoor dining area of Cafe Bodega.

One must, must, must... must, must try their fresh Sagada orange juice... Mmmmm... Sagada orange juice (Did I sound Homer enough?) I am salivating just thinking about it. The perfect balance of tang and sweetness, and the best thing is it's 100% organic fresh from the orchard.

Since we're on the topic of food, eat lunch at Masferre Restaurant. The menu isn't especially Sagada (What's a Sprite bottle doing there??) but Masferre's photos lining the walls are worth the trip. He's the first photographer to take pictures of Sagada and his photos ooze of history. Taking pictures of his pictures isn't aloud.

And desert at the Yoghurt House. Try the granola one... (60 pesos or so)

I told you I love em oranges so much I had to take some home. At 35 pesos a kilo, it was more than a steal. I'll show the pics of the caves and the other spots we visited in the next post. This one is long enough as it is.

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If you're planning to go there:

The Rock Inn and Cafe
Address : Rock Farm, Batalao, Sagada, Mt. Province, Philippines
Phone : Bang - 0920-9095899 (A really charming and helpful young man)
Fely - 0920-9028608
E-mail : rockfarm_sagada@yahoo.com

Rooms good for 6 and 8 @ 300 pesos per head per night (cheap huh? even cheaper during lean season I hear) The rooms are very spacious but don't have individual CR's. A common one at the end of the hall. No hot water from the faucet, but you can request for a bucket of really hot water for 40 pesos. Meals (heavy) average at less than 200 pesos. They provide a free service to and from the town proper. If you need anything, ask for charming Wanda or helpful Bang. And no, the dried leaves they sell at the souvenir shop ain't pot it's mounatin tea leaves.
(With all these free promotion, I better get a free room when I go back there!)

Cut and Pastiness

2007-01-08T23:09:00.000+08:00

My post on the Sagada trip has been placed on the back burner. I'm still picking which pictures to post. I went trigger happy and now picking pictures is an ordeal much like Sophie's Choice. And then of course, there's the insanely sluggish uploading speed.

Cut me barber for I haven't trimmed. It's been 3 months since my last haircut.

There is something truly orgasmic about getting a haircut. I believe a visit to the parlor/ barber shop is one of the few remaining modern activities that make you feel genuinely regal but still satisfies three crucial factors:

You remain within budgetary bounds. Last I checked I don't own a Queen Elizabeth II cruise ship and I don't own majority of Monaco.
It is PC.
You are fully aware your "reign" only lasts for a couple of hours max, but at least you come out of the place alive. Try reigning for 9 days and then getting decapitated, at 16 years old. Poor Jane Grey.

Anyways, I'm stopping myself before I start talking about Anne Boleyn or Helen Mirren's possible oscar.

dancollins

I've had the flower child look for too long. Gimme a tower and I'll do a flawless Rapunzel, it'll bring tears to your eyes. I've grown attached to the length of my hair, sort of like a security blanket attached to your skull. Having long hair is just way to taxing. It takes you forever to wash and condition it and it takes another infinity to dry it out. Hair products aren't cheap... what ever happened to the good old days of fresh gooey aloe vera? And then there's the ubiquitous strands of hair in the sink drain, on your pillow and the floor.

Yesterday afternoon, it took two cigarettes to stop myself from hyperventilating and to convince myself I WAS having my hair cut. It's hilarious how we attach ourselves to such transient things. Eversince I was old enough to afford a decent haircut, I've almost always gone to the same hairstylist. His name is Eugene. He is a legend in these parts. He's an artist. Eugene's haircuts always agree with my look and he has a "dark brown thumb" because my hair magically becomes better whenever he touches it.

We were chatting away the moment I sat on his cushioned chair. I was so into the conversation, I didn't even notice the first snip, kind of like what doctors do to vaccinate kids... "Look at the shiny coin" Eugene's memory is amazing. He remembers names and jobs and events like an almanac. I was confronted with this fact when he remembered what my Thesis was in college. Some of my close friends wouldn't know what it was even if their life depended on it (it was an Art Gallery and Cafe, just in case Armageddon depended on it my friends... tee hee) Eugene cuts hair at Gemini's Hair Salon.

I know this entry is long enough, but I just have to mention that the girl who shampooed my hair looked like Pumpkin. Not A pumpkin... but THE pumpkin from Memoirs of a Geisha, or at least how I thought she would look like when I read the book. She even had the powdered face, the pink cheeks and the perfectly positioned mole. I swore if she was wearing a kimono, I would've sworn I was lying in a genuine Okiya as she lathered my hair.

My head feels ALOT lighter. I guess climbing my tower would require the construction of a lift or at least the traditional ladder... the former more preferred.

Look at me talking about my measly haircut when there are real things happening in the world.

It's Aliiiive!

2007-01-04T13:19:00.000+08:00

Hey everyone. Thanks for the greetings through the holidays... I'll start blogrolling to return my ~~late~~ greetings.

I haven't been able to update my blog. Nope, I didn't fall into a crevice in the caves... nope, I wasn't abducted by angry Plutonians... and nope, I didn't join the Peace Corps (although I really want to). After the trip to Sagada (which was fabulous... will tell more about it in future posts) I was so busy, I couldn't find time to go online. My yahoo inbox was practically full when I checked it two days ago (aka back to work). I've been preoccupied with the celebration for New Year's, with the business my sister, Pam and I are establishing and with work that piled up during the holidays. The past two weeks, "busy" meant:

Busy (n)
Engaged in activity, as work; occupied.
Multi-tasking ad nauseum.
Dream imagery is dominated by office desks and staplers
Activities like breathing and blinking need to be scheduled.

I might be whining, tugging at my hair and biting my nails to oblivion... but it's a good kind of busy. The kind of busy where you don't notice how physically spent you are until you stop and recline.

Also, I was supposed to update my blog last night but both the internet connection here at the office and the one at home are excruciatingly slow. I dunno if Blogger has a problem or if it's Firefox, but the sluggish connection was just unbearable.

Since I wasn't able to spend the New Year's with my blogging buddies (aww shucks), would you mind holding each other's hands and singing...

"Should all acquaintances be forgot, na na na na na na (I have no idea what the lyrics are!)... Should all acquaintances be forgot, na na na auld lang syne!!!"

Happy New Year y'all!!!

Gone Spelunking...

2006-12-27T14:43:00.000+08:00

Inspite of all the obvious reasons, I will be going to Sagada from the 28th to the 30th. I starting to believe people are like anti-geese. We migrate to the colder places when winter or the semblance of winter comes. The plan is we'll be back just in time for the New Year's... that is, if everything goes out as planned. I wouldn't be surprised if we got stuck on the road. Me and bad luck go together like peanut butter and strawberry jam (ha! My first Baguio inspired metaphor! although strawberries are grown mostly outside Baguio)

If I don't turn up after the 30th, please organize a search party.

There is No "i" in Giving...

2006-12-24T03:40:00.000+08:00

Bonus roasting on an open mall sale
The smell of fruitcake yanking at your nose
The price of kid's toys that make you turn pale
And folks eat 'til they weigh like rhinoes

Everybody knows, 8 hours of sleep and a 13th month pay
Help to make the season fun
Tired peons with their eyes all aglow
Won't find it hard to sleep 'til one (PM)

They know that free time's on its way
It's loaded lots of lazy hours on it's sleigh
And everybody's pants are gonna try
to see if they'll still fit with a zipped fly

The glorious days of non-work are finally here. I am getting all teary eyed just thinking of all the shut-eye and uninhibited lazing in bed I'm compelled to do.

We had the office Christmas Dinner last Thursday night and an encore lunch Friday. The compulsory Kris Kringle turned out to be really fun. One needs to jazz these things up to prevent a purchase of a one way ticket to boresville. We did the "wish list" format this year. The basic idea is to think of a gift you want (within the budgetary stipulations) and an alias. Mine was "Dumpling" inspired by Mikey from Queer as Folk. You draw from a hat the gift you're giving and an alias to whom you're gonna give it to. The fun part is guessing who's getting what you wrapped and the convenient part is not thinking of what gift to give, which let's face it, is one of the toughest things to do.

My Friday afternoon (thru night, thru early morning) was spent attempting to cross out every name on my hitlist, err... shopping list. It was a pretty successful undertaking with my dear friend, Ems. We have this holiday-rush-tradition, both of us are vying to be "The Tardiest Person in the Planet". By the time the mall was closing, I only had one unchecked person on my list, my feet were about to fall off, my pockets were a whole lot lighter, and I had a gazillion bags that weighed a ton in my hands. I stole a taxi cab from an older gentleman on the way home. I was more than willing to do the whole taxi war cha cha cha, but my feet and arms were just not up for it.

I still however managed to muster the strength to wrap. I may whine about the general phoniness of this holiday and I may love receiving a lot more than I do giving, but I absolutely, without reservation love, love, love, wrapping presents. I account this to the transience of a wrapper's life. It takes forever to cut, fold, tape, etc... but it only takes a simple ripping motion to lacerate the wrapper and make the ~~entrails~~ gift come out.

For every gift Ems and I bought for someone, we bought a corresponding one for ourselves. We believe in fairness and equality.

Some of the ones I can publicly announce include:

One of my annual new pillow. I believe sleep is an art form.
An orange bag. Nothing like a pumpkin colored mailman bag to draw the attention of trick or treaters.
Some badass shades to go with the orange bag.
Horton Hatches the Egg. Yes this is for me. Dr Seuss is one of my fave writers.
A collection of cartoons from The Newyorker
A couple of second hand books: One by Faulkner, one by Golding.
One of those "quilted" jackets that covers up body flabs with artificial ones.
A stuffed pig to remind me to stay away from complex carbohydrates
A Lucky Shirt.

We believe in that "You can't love others if you don't love yourself" adage very deeply. If I can impart a simple tip for boosting your ego and satiating all your senses... Don't forget to buy a gift (or more) for yourself. Narcissus may have drowned in his own reflection, but unlike Atlas, he could tie his shoelaces without the heavens falling.

And so I'm offering this simple phrase
To kids from 1 to 92
Although it's been said many times many ways
Merry Christmas to you... (yes you.)

Joseph Barbera (1911-2006)

2006-12-21T10:33:00.000+08:00

December 18, 2006 was a sad day for all kids that grew up during my generation. Joseph Barbera died at the age of 95. Joe and his partner Bill Hanna (1910-2001) created Hanna-Barbera and together they created most of my generation's beloved cartoons: Tom and Jerry, The Flintstones, The Jetsons, Scooby Doo, Yogi Bear, The Smurfs... the list goes on. BBC Article here.

I am a creative partner of a business we're planning to launch in January. I'll tell you more about it when our plans are tangible already... Anyways, one of the things I did for the business is creating some characters. It was during one Instant Messenger meeting with Pam that she told me about Joe Barbera's passing.

Generally, the cartoons Hanna and Barbera made are wholesome, cutesy characters with their trademark catch phrases and/or hairstyles.

Foot-driver Fred Flintstone's - "Yabba Dabba Doo", and a similar...
Scooby Doo - "Scooby Dooby Doo", and a similar...
George Jetson - "Hooba Dooba Dooba"
Pic-a-nic basket thief Yogi Bear's - "I'm smarter than your avergae bear"
The sweet southern Huckleberry Hound's - "Oh My Darling, Clementine"
The Mystery Machine members: Velma Dinkley's - "Jinkies!", and...
Daphne Blake's - "Jeepers!", and who could forget...
Shaggy Roger's - "Zoinks!"
The pink Snagglepuss - "Heavens to Murgatroid"

There are also a few things I never quite understood in these Hanna-Barbera shows:

A number of the characters (Yogi Bear, Snagglepuss, Wally Gator) have collars and ties attached to I have no idea where. I guess it's one of those "toon things" like the four-fingered Disney gloves.
How can the blue civilization of the smurfs survive with just one Smurfette? (Thanks to Donnie Darko... I have an answer to this already)
How come nearly all female characters have extremely small feet? I think it is impossible to walk with them let alone run in them! in heels!.. Exhibit A: Penelope Pitstop
Look at Top Cat (the yellow feline at the lower left of the pic above)... Who in their right mind would wear a violet vest and a matchy-matchy violet hat, if you have yellow fur? duh...

I've always loved Velma over Daphne (like Betty over Veronica)... I loved it when the Flintstones of the elephant trunk-faucet era met the Jetsons of the conveyor sidewalk and robot nanny era. I've always wanted Elroy Jetson's hat and Bam Bam's loin cloth outfit. I think Muttley is adorable and I wouldn't mind spending an afternoon with Gargamel. These characters are manifestations of Barbera's genius. They were pop culture icons in the 70's and 80's and they are still widely recognizable today with frequent reruns on Cartoon Network.

The best Barbera cartoon, in my opinion, is Tom and Jerry. I think it is the first show to use the cat-mouse formula, nothing like the carnal instincts of predator in prey in a non-documentary to engage the interest of children. It was censored a lot during puritan 40's thru 60's, it was ahead of it's time. Now, all the guns and slicing and explosions are as normal as the roaring lion in MGM intros. And they are invincible, Tom's cut tail always grows back, his smashed teeth always reappear, and his charred body always regains it's bluish tone... what's a few lethal weapons thrown into the plot?

Beyond the violence, what I really like about the show is the fact that they do not speak (something totally destroyed in that supposed movie). They are the feline and murine Charlie Chaplins and Mr. Beans. The absence of language adds to their universality. What really adds to the T & J experience is the music. Especially during the earlier ones, the episodes always incorporated classical music. There are the orchestral background music and there are the tunes that act as sound effects. An ascending piano run depicts Jerry running frantically to his hole. A cymbal clash, Tom's crashing into a trash can lid. We don't see toons like this anymore.

Interestingly, the first Tom and Jerry episode I've seen is "The Night Before Christmas".

Joseph Barbera started working as a tailor's delivery boy and ended up being one of the world's most famous and loved cartoonists. Hanna-Barbera won 7 Oscars for Tom and Jerry. He never got an interview at Disney (tsk tsk)

Not once in six years did I make it to the office by 9 on the dot.
-Joseph Barbera

Godparenthood

2006-12-19T00:29:00.000+08:00

Remember that cliche, "Always a bridesmaid, never a bride"? I can totally relate with it only mine goes, thanks to the fabulous Fran Lebowitz (Metropolitan Life), "Always a godparent... never a god".

I have this aura that seems to perpetually put me on my friends' godparent candidate list. I know I'm adorable and kids love me, but that's beside the point. I heard somewhere (see: I'm making this up) that if a kid you do not know personally instantly likes you as heshe looks over hisher mom's shoulder on an escalator, it says a lot about your innate likeability, or your semblance to a clown or Mickey Mouse depending on your ear size.

Anyways, godparenthood is serious business here in the Philippines. I guess the same is true in any predominantly Catholic country. Godparents are called "ninong" (male) and "ninang" (female). Their "inaanak" (godchildren) drop by their houses during Christmas to collect "Aguinaldo", basically moolah. I am not sure why it's named after a past president, but I'm guessing it has something to do with the presence of his face on the now defunct five-peso bill, and the now counterfeitable (?) five-peso coin. A local version of "It's all about the Benjamins", sort of. Give your godchild five pesos now and you'll definitely see a perplexed but clearly fuming child. Five pesos ain't worth shit, it doesn't even cover regular jeepney fare. I heard the GAP (Godchildren Association of the Philippines) is fighting to change the term "Aguinaldo" to "Aquino" (500 pesos) or "The Santos-Lim-Escoda Threesome" (1,000 pesos).

Giving gifts on Christmas and Birthdays is a welcome alternative. Godparenthood is a burdensome responbility. This is a fact a friend shouldn't even entertain in one's mind, let alone publish in one's public blog. But it is. I would honestly wanna spend my 13th month pay on a pair of Hushpuppies I saw last week or a kick-ass small-of-the-back tattoo, I instead find myself too often around Toy Kingdom or the 3-4 year old clothing section.

Giving is overrated. I like to give as much as I like receiving... scratch that, I like receiving more, but I don't mind giving. What drives me to look at Osh Kosh apparel and Bratz paraphernalia isn't the fulfillment that supposedly comes along with giving. It isn't totally the look of joy children emit when they see a new toy, although that is the best anti-depressant. It is the fact that MY godparents were shitty when I was young. They were either fictitious people I never saw in person, merely creatures I saw in a yellowish photo who were standing around a three-month old version of me, all of them clad in white and holding lit candles as a priest gives me a shampoo... OR, they did make their presence felt during my childhood Christmases and birthdays in the form of hankies or bar soap. What is a five year old supposed to do with 3 bars of Dove soap? and isn't a hanky for every birthday a tad too predictable?

I am breaking this vicious Vicious godparent cycle by being the most benevolent one I could possibly be (which isn't saying much) to the godchildren I am "active" with. Most of my "inactive" godchildren are a zip code or an ocean apart. And at times, I was a victim of a shot-gun baptism. Coercion takes on many forms.

I've nearly completed my godchildren Christmas shopping list. Unlike Santa, I do not have the luxury of crossing out naughty ones.

"Always a godparent, never a god"... Imagine what I could give them if I WERE a god... a college plan, a lifetime supply of legos, their own planet?... But I'm just a godparent.

New Tenant
I love my new tenant's blog... check out A Pile of Dogbones

13 Dinner Guests

2006-12-13T21:13:00.000+08:00

I have concocted my ideal Noche Buena (Christmas Eve Dinner) I'm not talking about the feast itself, cooking isn't my strong suit, I'll leave that to my dad who is excellent at it. My forte is picking a diverse, interesting, may be fictional but still relatively plausible guest list. Look at me looking forward to Christmas dinner, they may be hope for me yet...

Imagine having dinner with:

Linus van Pelt
Every dinner requires a great philosopher clutching a blue blanket. Linus is mine. How could you not invite the person who coined "security blanket" and realistically dreams of being the 47th person on the moon? His explanation of the true meaning of Christmas (quoting Luke 2:8-14) to Charlie Brown and his posse made him my instant Dalai Lama the moment I saw that TV special, of course I was too young then to know what a Dalai Lama was. We will be serving alcohol during dinner, don't worry... Linus may appear like a perpetual preschooler, but he loves Johnny Walker on the rocks... after all, he's about 54 years old.

Kevin McCallister
Linus although relatively wise for his age, requires the company of a kid to keep him from getting restless. 8 year old Kevin is the perfect candidate. The Home Alone movies (the first two at least) was as much a staple of my childhood Christmases as a plastic tree. His classic pose, an homage to Munch's Scream, will be a very effective ice-breaker. Also, his Machiavellian inventions will make sure our dinner would be "Wet Bandit"-free, and if burglars do dare to enter, more enjoyment for us as we watch middle-aged men getting burned and whacked in the oh so most sensitive places.

Jack Skellington
My Christmas dinner wouldn't be complete without the Pumpkin King of Halloweentown. I will be all starstruck around him. First of all, he baptized the "lobster red creature" known to us as Santa, "Sandy Claws", I am awed by his wit. Second, I've always been mesmerized by stop motion films... great films like this require massive stockpiles of passion and patience and meticulous attention to detail. It is art in the finest sense of the word. And most importantly, he knows Tim Burton. One of my favorite people in the world. I am devising ways to steer the conversation into having him relate firsthand his attempt to take over Christmas... I can't wait!

Max
I'm pretty sure Jack Skellington will bring Zero, his phantom dog. Max would be an ideal companion since I don't think many of us speak "dog". The Grinch is a very private person who detests company. The fact that he likes (sort of) the company of his dog Max speaks volumes about Max in the likeability department. Max can pull a sleigh holding both the Grinch and all the stolen Who-ville Christmas paraphernalia all by himself. For this reason alone, I'm lifting the no-dog-in-the-house directive. Come on... look at Max' smile... he is sooo adorable.

Mr. Hankey
"Howdy-Ho!" I hope Kyle wouldn't mind if I steal Mr. Hankey this Christmas Eve. Mr. Hankey is a denizen of the Southpark sewers. Yes, he is a coil of human feces, but us believers like to call him "The Christmas Poo". I don't mind eating my dinner beside a steaming pile of scat, and anyone who gags and shows the slightest amount of repulsion in Mr. Hankey's company would be free to leave the table... and the premises of my city. My guests are lucky I didn't invite his wife Autumn (also feces) and their three kids (all feces as well and one has a peanut for a head)

Crumpet
David Sedaris, one of my favorite writers, once worked as a Christmas elf in Macy's. He recounted his stay there in Santaland Diaries (Holidays on Ice) Crumpet was his chosen elf name. His experiences in that wonderland of sparkling lights, fake snow and mechanical penguins were so dementedly amusing, it made me wish we had a Macy's store in Baguio, or more feasibly that I lived in New York. I highly recommend Holidays on Ice for holiday reading, I am having mine signed when Mr. Sedaris knocks on my front door... Joy!

Billy Mack
I can never get through most activities without a proper soundtrack. Enter ~~fictional~~ rock legend, Billy Mack. I wouldn't mind hearing his "festering turd of a record" (his words not mine) after dinner. It is "Love is all around" (Wet Wet Wet song) but with all "love" lyrics altered to "Christmas"... Genius... I know. I usually cringe at the idea of watching Hugh Grant movies (Stop throwing those cliches around mister caught-with-your-pants-down) but I watched Love Actually... and, get this... ~~liked~~ loved it. I guess the numerous characters diluted Grant's cheesiness. Why can't he be more like dreamy Colin Firth. *faint*

Josephine March
There can never be enough writers on my dinner table. "Little Woman" Jo March is one of the first feminists I've ever known. The period clothing may be a bit off in my gathering but I invited her for three reasons: One, she looks uncannily like Winona-freakin-Rider! Two, Anyone who is willing to sell their hair for her family is a hero in my book... and Three, She turned down Laurie! Laurie is Christian-freakin-Bale for pete's sake! Gawd.

Rudolph
"...the red-nosed reindeer, had a very..." (Shoot me now) There will be no carolling on this table! I personally believe Rudolph is the first gay character on film. Literally doe-eyed, a graceful trot, inability to play basketball, and a flamboyant nose... I rest my case. Heshe (yes, there are debates about hisher gender) is a pioneering beacon of androgony and individuality against adversity. The Rudolphs of the world are just like you, only with shiny red noses. Rudolph... "You'll go down in history"

The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come
Okay, TGOCYTC (such a typeful) may not be much of a conversationalist... He prefers to just point at things. At first I wondered if he would feel out of place in my generally chatty guest list and what interesting thing he could possibly offer. Then I remembered he was a clairvoyant of sorts. After dinner, I am unsure if he eats or even has an esophagus... anyways, after dinner, he can take all of us into our own Christmas Dream journeys. Now that is something entirely unique eh? And I had him sign a contract never to do that whole name on a tombstone prank he did on Scrooge.

Buddy
Enter entertainment. Will Ferrell... err Buddy will bring the Christmas cheer to the dinner. Of course what he doesn't know is we all (including Rudolph) mock him behind his back. The perfect thing is, he is so oblivious, no one gets hurt. Win Win. Buddy will probably have inside elf jokes with Crumpet although the whole Gimbels-Macys rivalry might come in play. If for anything else, Buddy's Spaghetti with M&Ms and syrup entree would be a conversation piece.

Davey Stone
There can never be enough Saturday Night Live alumni on my dinner table. Davey, the "cartoonized" version of Adam Sandler would be my insight into Chanukah. A celebration I am very curious of but totally ignorant about. Plus, Adam Sandler in my house? forgeddaboutit... okay the closest I can probably get to Mr. Adam Sandler is my non-existent acquuaintance with Rob Schneider, he has family here in Baguio. Go Midland Courier.

Mrs. Claus
I guess it's time for the dame to leave the solitude of the North Pole during Christmas Eve. When santa is away, the mrs. will play (No Limit Texas hold'em with me and my guests after dinner) She is more elusive than Big Foot. No picture of her has ever been taken yet, the Big Foot slipped up already. I like to think of Mrs. Claus as shown in the picture, I won't believe a woman of her stature would wear matching outfits with her beau. Mrs. Claus has requested that all paparazzi steer clear of my house.

Quite a guest list, don't you think? I'm gonna start picking napkin rings and centerpieces tomorrow.