I had a rude awakening today at that hideous monstrosity of a building known as SSS. I'm getting insured, I've lost the deluded invinsibility of youth, that "that-couldn't-possibly-happen-to-me" mentality that makes me (or at least USED to make me) totally fearless. Where did my youth go??

I miss the carefree days of immaturity. When your biggest problem was waking up early for school and the source of your biggest joy is a christmas present. The excuse to be irresponsible is a luxury. Don't get me wrong, independence is wonderful... the absence of parental supervision, late nights, alcohol, nicotine, etc. etc. But with independence comes responsibility. Jobs, bills, health, mortality and every mundane and morbid thing in between. When did the slow erosion of our idealism start? When did we shift from cartoons to CNN? When did we start living in the "real" world? Last I checked I was still in La-la land where anything was possible. Age creeps up on you and.. surprise! its there staring you in the face in the form of an SSS RS-5 Form.

Growing up is such a pain in the ass (my psyche is shouting Peter Pan syndrome). I can totally relate to Jesse (Before Sunrise) "I always think that I'm still this 13 year old boy, y'know who just doesn't really know how to be an adult, pretending to live my life, taking notes for when I'll really have to do it. Kind of like I'm in a dress rehearsal for a Junior High play." In certain gatherings where you're expected to be an adult I find myself mentally checking what I do, editting what I say because that's how I think adults should act and speak. I think I'll never truly know how to be an adult... But I sure do make a flawless impersonation of one.

Labels: blah (3x), quarterlife