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Sarcasm Aside

random thoughts of a self-diagnosed neurotic with the attention span of a five-year old... a blog by Alternati

All You Gotta Do Is Ask...

Monday, June 11, 2007

Last Saturday, I had a fantabulous night with three of my closest college friends. It was a post-birthday celebration of sorts. It was our version of a typical Sex and the City coffee shop scene... we weren't as thin and hair-perfect as Carrie, Charlotte, Samantha and Miranda, we were nonetheless as chatty and animated as they were. Between the blues and "blue moons", douchebag exes and current trysts, the joys of motherhood and the joys of singlehood, the reminiscence of past outings and the planning of future ones... it was as if none of us were twenty-friggin-something.

H.G. Wells had his time machine... I have my Teejay, my Fio and my Ems.


I saw this interesting meme on Ann's blog Fighting Gravity. A meme you ask for.

What's the most daring/interesting thing you've done (and are willing to divulge)?

I stole my first Van Gogh when I was 4. I published my first book "Lite years" when I was 5. Many found astrophysics coming from a five year old pretty ludicrous, but my book found readers. I won my first Olympic bronze medal for canoeing when I was 9 and a gold for the same event when I was 13. I stole my second (and final) Van Gogh when I was 15. I joined the Peace Corps soon after and resided in Sierra Leone for 6 years. Through some twist of fate, I found myself involved in the restoration and preservation of the marbled walls of Duomo di Milano. This is where I found my calling. I am now Donatella's personal dog walker.

My actual life is pretty bland. Between work and jet-setting, I am a normal run-o-the-mill homo sapien. I have dared to do some insane things for an acrophobic like rappelling and riding that Enchanted Kingdom seatbelt-less ferris wheel which seemed like it was gonna topple over and roll toward the plains because of the winds from the lake. But by far, this was the most daring thing I've done of the extreme-sports-ish-slash-carnival-ride variety...

Seven friends and I wrote that darn ride named "Maximum Sensation" until our insides were inverted.

As for daring in the Samantha Jones sense, I have yet to join a buck naked anti-fur protest. As for interesting... I have yet to stage a coup.

What's the story behind your header?

During my bum days post-college, I went through a kitschy, pop-art-ish phase. Given the free time then and a need to waste it on something, I covered a wall in my room with folded squares of magazine pages.

That was my attempt at creating "order in chaos". The phrase was a second choice for my blog's name because it pretty much describes my brain and my life. Making the banner on Photoshop was a whooole lot easier though than the first time I voodooed my wall with tacks. The banner contains partial images of things I love; my niece, my nephew, Chris Martin, Mr. Law, the Mavs, rubber ducks, Daria, places I've been to, album covers of artists... etc.

What do you think is your contribution to the rest of humanity?

Biologically, I believe how my body, and everyone else's, converts oxygen to carbon dioxide is my most relevant contibution. Being a part of the carbon cycle makes me feel relevant in maintaining balance in the global carbon budget.

Truthfully, I think I am a pretty selfish person who takes more from humanity (whining in the process) than I contribute (also whining in the process). I wanna, but I'm a whina.

The mere notion of comparing myself with significant people who have actually done something for humanity is just downright pretentious, but I'll do it anyway. Apple-munching Newton discovered gravity, bearded Darwin studied evolution, the perv Freud developed psychoanalysis. Lennon influenced the world with his music, Picasso with his paintings, Shakespeare with his writing, Scorsese with his movies, etc. etc.

In all fairness to us living in the twenty first century, everything worth discovering and not requiring a degree in rocket science has already been discovered. And, nearly everything has been invented, sung, painted, written and put to the silver screen already. Plus, the amount of work the great people of our past has done would be enough to entertain us and keep us busy for two earthly lifetimes.

My preemptive response to "it's the small things we contribute that matter" is yeah, there is consolation in that. I contribute to the population of pigs and cows by not devouring them. I contribute to the database of the net by blogging. I contribute to the fight against multi-million dollar company monopolies by supporting Jack Sparrows. I contribute to the betterment of Philippine cinema by not watching any of the crap they currently dish out. I contribute to the global warming movement by being scared to drive a car. The small things.

I can't help but beat myself up every now and then though, for not contributing something that really matters. Perhaps I can create a perpetual motion machine or discover the missing link or something. Some things aren't entirely ridiculous.

What do you like best about yourself?

The hollow below my neck. (Ok, I totally ripped that off The English Patient) I'll stay away from anything physical and say, my resolve to never fully "grow up". Peter Pan syndrometer goes off the charts. I am anything BUT naive and I'm 95% jaded (ask my physician) There is a repressed but influential 5% of me though where unicorns and purty butterflies roam freely.

But then again, I am one of the most likeable people in the world, no? I know you guys love me.

What do you plan to achieve in the next five years?

*Passes out*... I'd be 30+ by then... *passes out again*... a whiff of NH3.

I am not much of a planner. Dead Poets' Society had that effect on me. Carpe diem!
If I am however forced to think of it at gunpoint, I'd probably say:
  1. Total independence via geographic means
  2. A mind-blowing job
  3. Mastery of german, french and japanese
  4. The metabolism of a five year old
  5. Understanding the theory of relativity
  6. to name a few...

If you're interested to let me put you on the hot seat...

The Interview rules:
  1. Leave me a comment saying “Interview me.”
  2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
  3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
  4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
  5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.


It's Independence Day tomorrow (technically) I know it should be a time to be proud of our quasi-independence... but I can't help feeling paranoid to discover a humongous disc like UFO in the sky over some landmarks.


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posted by Alternati, 4:42 PM

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