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Sarcasm Aside

random thoughts of a self-diagnosed neurotic with the attention span of a five-year old... a blog by Alternati

13 Comic Reliefs

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Historically, April is one of the most catastrophic months. Insurrections, wars, natural disasters... notably, the war of the yankees and rednecks, the war of blue coats and red coats... the assassinations of Lincoln in a theater and Luther King at a motel... the Columbine highschool massacre... the sinking of RMS Titanic... the Bataan death march... the San Francisco earthquake... Chernobyl.

Ironically though, the month starts off with hoaxes and practical jokes, and the tradition of april-fooling has extended well before these tragic events happened.

It must be fate's preemptive permeation of comic relief into human tradition... or maybe the catastrophes were merely practical jokes gone awry. The Titanic engineer holding a couple of bolts in his hands saying... "Got yah!" as the ship sank all the passengers laughing as they met their watery death.

Anyways, my 13th post for April is dedicated to our quirky, plucky comic reliefs. How can we appreciate all our dramas, our comedies and our dramedies without the characters who make us laugh at the moment when we are at the verge of crying or throwing a fit.

Hugo "Hurley" Reyes

I personally find Hurley as the sweetest, most adorable plus sized actor on television to date. His surfer dude expression "Dude..." is so cool. The Actor: Jorge Garcia

- Thinks he is cursed after he won a multi-million dollar lottery using the "bad numbers", manifestations of the bad luck included his grandpa's stroke, his new house catching fire and a meteor falling on his newly purchased Mr. Cluck's franchise.
- Plays ping-pong like Forrest Gump
- Had an imaginary friend named "Dave"
- Had for some time a working CD player on the island which eventually ran out of batteries midway through Damien Rice's "Delicate"

Comic Relief:
(Artz, the island scientist/ gradeschool teacher, explodes as he tries to handle dynamite from a pirate ship)
Hurley: (looking at Locke) "Dude... You've got some Artz on you."

Hiro Nakamura

Everyone's favorite Japanese actor... even more than the always oh so serious Ken Watanabe. He is anime personified. The Actor: Masi Oka. (I was thrilled to see him in The Sarah Silverman Program Batteries episode... thanks to Ann for the comedienne referral. hehe)

- "Herro New York!!!" (need I say more?)

Comic Relief:
(After getting stranded in a diner in the middle of the desert, Hiro meets "Flying man" and asks him...)
Hiro: "Give me ride-o? (imitates car horn) Boo-boo!"

Jack McFarland
Will and Grace

One of the most flambuoyant gay guys to grace the television. "Just Jack" (with jazz fingers please) is an inspiration for all fairies and people with theatrical aspirations. The Brilliant Actor: Sean Hayes.

- Has a Cher barbie doll (as seen)
- Collects celebrity hair
- Laughs everytime "ball" is uttered
- Was married to Rosario
- Has a son with a recurring lesbian role done by Rosie O'Donnell

Comic Relief:
(Jack consoling Will...)
Jack: "You're caring and loving..."
Will: "You're just saying that to make me feel better."
Jack: "No I'm not. I mean, what would I get out of that?"

Karen Walker
Will and Grace

My favorite fabulous politically incorrect socialite. She is so morally and socially retarded, you can't help but worship the ground she walks on. The Actress: Megan Mullally. A comic relief in a comedy is pretty much redundant but Jack and Karen push the humor to a whole new level making Will and Grace depressing people by comparison.

- Has an alter ego named Anastasia Beaverhausen
- Has a Pharmacist and a Back-up pharmacist in her personal staff
- Drinks more alcohol than H20

Comic Relief:
Grace: "What you're feeling are pangs of guilt."
Karen: "What?"
Grace: "Guilt. Oh, boy. Ok. How am I gonna explain this one? Uh... guilt is an emotion that - Ok. Jumping ahead. An emotion is something that..."
Karen: "Hey, hey, hey. Come on. I know what guilt is. It's one of those touchy-feely words that people throw around that don't really mean anything... You know, like "maternal" or "addiction."

Marshall Flinkman

He is the inhouse CIA "Q". Marshall is a mumbling, rambling, babbling tech guy who never fails to impress me with how he speaks the way he does. The Actor: Kevin Weisman

- Has photographic memory
- Almost always adds inconsequential factoids in his presentations

Comic Relief:
(Marshall talks hysterically to guard to get past security and succeeded)
Sydney: "What did you say to him?"
Marshall: (nervous) "I don't know. I think it was "Go away I can smell you from here" in Ewok. "

Greg Sanders
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

If he isn't fictional proof that not all scientists are boring and dreary then I don't know... He has, what I think is, dorky sex appeal. He has, however, become less comical in the current season... Hodges is taking his place as comic relief. The Actor: Eric Szmanda.

- Likes listening to heavy metal while working in the lab
- Has an evolving hairstyle

Comic Relief:
Sara Sidle: "So relax and lie down on your back"
Greg Sanders: "You know, this is exactly like a dream I had once, except it wasn't in a garage and Grissom wasn't watching."

Debbie Novotny
Queer as Folk

Outspoken, stubborn, nagging, red-haired... the physical TV representation of my mom. The Actress: Sharon Gless

- Is almost always chewing gum
- Has hilarious shirts. The one in the pic says "Got Lube?"

Comic Relief:
Debbie: "If I have to watch Martha Stewart make one more goddamn thing out of goat cheese, I'm going to kill myself."
Vic: "AMC has a Joan Crawford festival all week."
Debbie: "Nobody's THAT gay."

Stanford Blatch
Sex and the City

SATC's "Fifth Lady". The shirt, tie and matching cap says it all. The Actor: Willie Garson

- Did I mention the outfit?

Comic Relief:
(Convincing Carrie she can pull off a short-lived modelling career)
Stanford: “Okay, so you're not Heidi Klum, but you're the 'modeliest' of the real people.”

Phil Stubbs

The head honcho of the Stuckeybowl staff. Stuckeybowl, to the un-ED-ucated is a bowling alley/ law office. Phil holds fort in the shoe counter. He has this obsession with fame and devises numerous ridiculous schemes to achieve it that always go awry. The Ingenious Actor: Michael Ian Black (a great poker player too)

- Poses as a MENSA member smoking a pipe
- His catch phrase is "Shave my Poodle"

Comic Relief:
Phil: "I never liked kids. They're like small drunk adults."

Phoebe Buffay-Hannigan

A flaky, eccentric, New-agey bohemian/vegetarian. She can be totally innocent one second and completely psycho the next. I love "Smelly Cat". The Actress: Lisa Kudrow

- Still believes Santa Claus is real
- Has an alter ego named Regina Phalange
- Has a twin sister, Ursula, a pornstar whose most notable film was "Buffay, the Vampire Layer"

Comic Relief:
Ross: (leaning over and talking to Rachel's womb) "I can't wait to play with you all day, and to hear your first words."
Phoebe: (wide eyed) "Why are you letting him talk to your crotch that way?"
Rachel: "He's talking to the baby."
Phoebe: "Oh, that's good. Because when I heard, "I can't wait to hear your first words" I thought, "Boy that's some trick!"

Six Feet Under

Bettina is a recurring role in SFU. She is the most subtle comic relief in this list, but compared to all the gloomy main characters, she might as well be Karen-freakin-Walker. The Actress: the marvelous Kathy Bates

- Manages Vicodin withdrawals
- Her daughter is alluded to as a "nut job"

Comic Relief:
Bettina: "Lucky, unlucky, I don't know. I'm unlucky I ran through three husbands. I'm lucky I got to retire early off the insurance. I'm unlucky my son set fire to the house. I'm lucky I've never had a urinary tract infection. I don't even care if it works out fair in the end. I'm sure it doesn't. I still have to haul my own ass out of bed in the morning."

Elaine Vassal
Ally Mcbeal

Ally's secretary/ assistant/ friend/ spontaneous Broadway singer/ limelight stealer/ homeshopping fanatic. The Actress: Jane Krakowski (Now 30 Rock's Jenna)

- <<< That is a face bra... and yes people ACTUALLY produce them in real life
- She also had a bra that has a remote and jiggles to Jingle Bells

Comic Relief:
Ally: "I mean, with all due respect, you sort of walk around with uppity breasts, and the hair flips aren't the most subtle. And your perfume - you could be flammable. Now what if somebody shut you down as a safety hazard, how would you feel then?"
Elaine: "That was with all due respect?"


He is the Janitor. He makes it a point to sadistically terrorize JD and habitually teleports whenever he's the last person JD wants to see grinning his sarcastic grin. The Actor: Neil Flynn

- He often pretends to be Dr. Jan Itor (Jan as in the German name)
- He's unfoundedly clever

Comic Relief:
(JD is at the reception desk, sad)
Janitor: "Girl problems?"
J.D.: "How did you know?"
Janitor: "Well, you look like you've got problems, you're a girl. Hence, girl problems. Watch your nails."
(Slams down hinged door)
(FYI, J.D. is a straight guy)


Sorry for torturing you with two extremely long posts back to back... It's April after all, a month of tragic, tragic events... Au Revoir!


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posted by Alternati, 2:56 AM

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