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Sarcasm Aside

random thoughts of a self-diagnosed neurotic with the attention span of a five-year old... a blog by Alternati


Saturday, February 24, 2007

I've been on an enamel paint induced high for the past days. True to the nature of most guppies and friends of Dorothy, I redecorated my room. Goodbye to the butter yellow walls, Au revoir to the familiar specks on my ceiling, and Auf Wiedersehen to the utter lack of closet space.

It all began with the installation of new closets in my room. The light oak wood stain didn't create enough contrast with the yellow walls, the wood stain brush strokes trespassed on my used to be white ceiling and there were hideous Pollockish drops of primer on the floor. I was opening a gallon of white paint and tinters as soon as the carpenters said arrivederci.

Now why would a delicate being as myself paint my own walls? It's a lesson on self empowerment. I've painted with water colors and oils in college, painting on a wall can't be that much different from painting on 11 x 17 art paper...

I was sadly mistaken.

A simple flick of a water color brush creates a distant plateau on a piece of paper, a flick of paint ain't worth shite on a wall, which coincidentally seems a whole lot larger when you use a 2 inch brush. It involves concentration and cardiovascular activity... both are no forte of mine. Imagine balancing on top of a stool AND trying desperately to control your aching arm to paint not only evenly but also making sure you don't encroach on a surface with a different color, all the while wishing you were smoking a Marlboro light because the toxic paint fumes are creeping slowly toward your brain. I ain't no Diego Rivera and I have no aspiration of being one... Painting a wall with just one flat color is hard enough, I'd be out of my head if I ever considered undertaking a Guernica.

I wonder how many ibuprofens Michaelangelo downed every hour while he painted the Sistine Chapel ceiling.
Stiffneck: check
Back pains: check
Drops of paint on face: check
Paint on hair: check
Overall longing for horizontality: check

The paint roller is by far the best human invention! I love it to bits! (If you love it so much, why don't you marry it...)

The ceiling is so pristine white, it's almost virginal. And the walls dried into an awesome vibrant teal color.

I was actually aiming for a different green...

One inspired by one of my fave books by one of my fave authors. The slight error in paint mixing was an unforseen stroke of luck. It works well with the light my room gets during the day time.

There's no high like a paint high. Nope... not the toxic fumes dummy... but the overall king-of-the-world feeling of accomplishment, and a revitalized room to boot. Whoever associated ennui with "watching paint dry" was extremely uninformed.

Ty Pennington... call me.

(Endorphin Rush... Gawd! Is anybody else psyched about The Amazing Race Allstars? I've always loved Boston Rob and Amber from the Survivor series all through their 2nd place finish on TAR. AND the premier of CSI Season 10 AND American Idol Top 24 AND Project Runway 3 AND Heroes Episode 16, although I must say the cliffhanger was a lot like Lost's Ana-Lucia shoots Shannon episode? I intentionally placed this post script in parentheses cause I myself am frightened by how TV obsessed I am)

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posted by Alternati, 12:49 AM

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