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Sarcasm Aside

random thoughts of a self-diagnosed neurotic with the attention span of a five-year old... a blog by Alternati

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Monday, August 13, 2007

(lashing a whip simultaneously)

After being tormented by a friend of mine, who saw the movie several days before I did, with chants of "spider pig, spider pig...", I did what any self respecting Simpson fan would do... I saw the movie the moment free time peeked its elusive head.

Nome and a dooohme, a scissor lift and cocoa, the actual geographic location of Springfield, Homer finally overcoming that canyon...
I was thoroughly satiated by the movie. *sigh*


It's only proper to do a Simpsons 13th list. Here are...

13 Simpsonized Celebrities
(and then some...)

The first celebrity to ever be credited "himself" in the show was Tony "I Left my Heart in San Francisco" Bennett. I couldn't find a yellowed image of him online... so I picked these guys instead.

George Bush Senior
- Ex- president / Dubya's Dad
- Mr. Wilson to Bart the Menace
- Special appearances too by Barbara Bush, Gerald Ford and Mikhail Gorbachev (and his red forehead mark too)

"Don't understand lemonade myself... not my forte"

EDIT: Bush Sr. didn't actually "guest" in the show...

Ok, The Real List....

Simon Cowell
(Smart and Smarter)

Lisa: So, Maggie's not a genius?
Cowell: She could be, at sweeping up hair.
Homer gets angry.
Homer: That's my baby jerk.
Homer punches Simon.
Cowell: Ow! You call that a punch? I felt it. But it was like so what!
Homer punches him again.
Cowell: Ooh! Again with the nose. I have a chin you know.

Scully and Mulder
(The Springfield Files)

(Mulder and Scully watch Homer jogging on a treadmill)
Mulder: Wait a minute Scully, what's the point of this test?
Scully: No point. I just thought he could stand to lose a little weight.
Mulder: His jiggling is almost hypnotic!
Scully: Yes. It's like a lava lamp.

Mick Jagger and Keith Richards
(How I Spent my Strummer Vacation)

Mick Jagger: Welcome to Rock n' Roll Fantasy Camp, where you'll experience the complete rock n' roll lifestyle, without the lawsuits and STDs.
Homer: Wooo! STDs!

British Royalty and that Guy from Joe Millionaire
L to R: Queen Elizabeth II (not herself, duh), J.K. Rowling, Tony Blair,
Evan Marriott (Joe Millionaire), Sir Ian Mckellen, Edwina (Jane Leeves)
(The Regina Monologues)

Lisa: Look! It's J.K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter books! You've turned a generation of kids onto reading.
Rowling: Thank you, young muggle.
Lisa: Can you tell me what happens at the end of the series?
Rowling: He grows up and marries you. Is that what you want to hear?
Lisa: Yes…

The Smashing Pumpkins

Corgan: Hey cannonball, I like your statement: when life takes a cheap shot at you, you stand your ground. Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins.
Homer: Homer Simpson, smiling politely

Stephen Hawking
(They Saved Lisa's Brain)

Hawking: Your theory of a donut shaped universe is intriguing Homer, I may have to steal it.
Homer: Wow, I can't believe someone I never heard of is hanging out with a guy like me.

Barry White
(Whacking Day)

White: I love the sexy slither of a lady snake.

Paul and Linda McCartney
(Lisa the Vegetarian)

Paul: Linda and I both feel strongly about animal rights. In fact, if you play "Maybe I'm Amazed" backwards, you'll hear a recipe for a really ripping lentil soup.
Lisa: When will all those fools learn that you can be perfectly healthy simply eating vegetables, fruits, grains and cheese.
Apu: Oh, cheese!
Lisa: You don't eat cheese, Apu?
Apu: No I don't eat any food that comes from an animal.
Lisa: Ohh, then you must think I'm a monster!
Apu: Yes indeed I do think that. But, I learned long ago Lisa to tolerate others rather than forcing my beliefs on them. You know you can influence people without badgering them always. It's like Paul's song, "Live and Let Live".
Paul: Actually, it was "Live and Let Die".
Apu: Well, whatever, whatever. it had a good rhythm.

Tony Hawk
(Barting Over)

Hawk: Homer, you're heading for parental face plant! Do a 180 emotional ollie.
Homer: Finally, someone explains it to me in words I can understand!

Bob Hope
(Lisa the Beauty Queen)

Hope: (Entertaining troops) Hi I'm Bob "what the hell am I doing in Springfield" Hope. Hey, this mayor Quimby, he's some golfer. His ball spends more time underwater than Greg Louganis.

(P.S. I don't get the joke either...)

(The Mook, the Chef, the Wife and her Homer)

(On the way to school, Otto stops the bus and offers Metallica a ride; their tour bus has broken down.)

Otto: So what are you waiting for? Hop in.
James Hetfield: (Chuckles) Hop in what?
(The school bus peels away with Bart at the wheel.)
Bart: Look at me, I'm Otto! I'm a hundred years old and I drive a school bus!
Otto: Oh, man. Maybe me and Metallica can go splitsies on a cab.
(Hans Moleman slowly drives by in a pickup truck, with Metallica and their gear in the bed of the truck.)
Kirk Hammett: Hey, loser, we got a ride from a real fan!
Hans Moleman: I used to sleep with Lars' grandmother.
Robert Trujillo: Never listen to our music again!
(Hans Moleman pulls away as Metallica plays an instrumental from the song, "Master of Puppets.")

Leonard Nimoy
(Marge vs. The Monorail)

Leonard Nimoy: (appraising the monorail) I'd say this vessel could do at least warp 5.
Mayor Quimby: Yes, and may I say, "May the Force be with you."
Leonard Nimoy: annoyed) Do you even know who I am?
Mayor Quimby: I think I do. Aren't you one of the Little Rascals?

Green Day
(The Simpsons Movie)

Billie Joe Armstrong: We've been playing for three and a half hours, and now we'd like to take a minute of you time to say something about the environment.
(The Springfieldians start booing & throwing garbage)

(And then the stage is upended... sinks... and Green Day does that Titanic violin thing.... hilarious!!!)


Honorable Mentions
Let's see how many you can recognize...

Left to right, top to bottom:
Conan O'Brien, The White Stripes, Alex Trebek, Bette Midler,
Luke Perry, Michell Kwan, Magic Johnson, U2,
Aerosmith, Kid Rock, N'sync, Elton John,
Yao Ming, Alec Baldwin, Barney, Richard Gere,
Venus and Serena Williams, Andre Agassi and Pete Sampras, Britney Spears, Big Bird,
The Ramones, Tom Jones, Tito Puente, Peter Frampton,
Kim Basinger, Andy Dick, James Brown, Spinal Tap,
Cypress Hill, Mel Gibson, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Gerald Ford,
Jason Bateman, Lucy Lawless (Xena), Ron Howard, REM,
Ricky Gervais, The Who, The Grouch, Matt Groening.

That was fun, no? Here's another one... Trying naming the album covers The Simpsons parodied.

Left: Nevermind (Nirvana)
Middle: Born in the USA (Bruce Springsteen)
Right: Abbey Road (The Beatles)


I dunno which confirmed guest appearance I'm more anxious to see... Amy Winehouse or Jon Stewart. Predicament... predicament...


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posted by Alternati, 6:35 PM

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