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Sarcasm Aside

random thoughts of a self-diagnosed neurotic with the attention span of a five-year old... a blog by Alternati

Multi-Million Dollar Babies

Thursday, September 07, 2006



Upon opening my homepage (Yahoo!), the first thing I saw was the picture of Suri Holmes-Cruise aka TomKat's baby. There was a media conspiracy that Suri didn't exist, three months and no pictures. So typical of crazy Tom (yes, we're on a first name basis) creating drama. She is very adorable as seen in the Vanity Fair cover (below left).















I remember all the buzz about Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt (above right). Her first pics were shown on People Magazine. Shiloh's pictures reportedly cost something over $4 million dollars! Angelina and Brad (Yep, I know them personally) donated the money to undisclosed charities. The world needs more famous married philanthropists. I don't know how much Suri's pics cost or where they went to... with all the mystery Tom was creating and his recent boot from Paramount, I'd presume it'll go straight to his bank account.

It's interesting how the magazine names that featured their babies say something about the parents. Brangelina did it for the "People" (of Namibia) and TomKat did it for "Vanity" (Fair).

Both baby names are two-syllable Hebrew names that start with an "S". Shiloh means "His Gift" and according to a website meant something like Messiah. Suri means "Mother of the Sun" in Sanskrit, but in Hebrew it means "Go Away" (go away paparazzi? go away crazy dad?)

The first time I saw Angelina Jolie was in Hackers. I loved her in that movie especially the short hair and the weird looking ring. Before TomKat, I only knew Katie Holmes as Joey Potter. The insecure girl-next-door, overlooked bestfriend with repressed feelings, in Dawson's Creek. That show was the O.C. or One Tree Hill of my era. Angelina went from crazy divorcee with a Billy Bob tattoo to a UN Goodwill Ambassador. Katie went from young TV actress to young trophy wife.

As an actor, I liked Tom Cruise. I liked Jerry Maguire and Vanilla Sky. As a citizen of the world, no comment... Did you see him on Oprah? Did you see his holier-than-thou interviews against Brooke Shields for using medication for her postpartum depression? Brooke said it quite poignantly... "Tom should stick to saving the world from aliens..."

Brad Pitt? forgeddaboutit... Legends of the Fall, Interview with the Vampire, Thelma and Louise, Fight Club, Snatch, Meet Joe Black, Ocean's 11 and 12, Mr and Mrs Smith, Troy, Se7en... I've seen em all. He's a golden boy and everyone likes him.

Being Shiloh or Suri has its quirks... famous parents, a magazine cover before the age of 1, designer baby clothes, a rollercoaster. But I'd bet they'd live in a Truman Show kind of world. Their every step, every trip, every flaw photographed and published for the world to see. Not to mention the pressure from the fame and accomplishments of their parents magnified by the watchful and discerning eyes of the world.

When I saw Suri's magazine cover on E! the caption read...
The Taliban are on the move again in Afghanistan. And, in other news, Suri Cruise has two eyes, a nose and a full head of hair.
Funny, in a crazy Tom kind of way...

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posted by Alternati, 3:46 PM
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