Brace yourself... This is another Amazing Race post.

Peter is an ass. I just wanted to get that off my chest. You'd think being a prosthetist he'd be more thoughtful of the feelings of amputees... but nooo... he makes tacky comments like "Sarah, why don't you show them your handicap placard so you can go first!", or have his soon to be ex-girlfriend (hopefully) run around on her prosthetic leg just so they can beg for money from locals. And in last night's episode, one team member had to scale a 90 foot sheer face with a mechanical ascender. And who did it? The one without the handicap placard. Peter is an ass. One big, tacky ass.

It's funny how when you discover unpleasant qualities, they become less and less human-looking. Whenever I see Peter with his smug face on that boat all I can see is ET, I know ET is a darling and to compare him to this monster is audacious, but with Peter's wide set eyes, cro-magnon forehead and bone structure... he could play ET's distant cousin... sans prosthetics. Irony, he's a prosthetist.

Sarah looks like a less prettier Naomi Watts. I wonder if she can run the race on her own.



TAR Taught Me:

1. Peter is an ass.
2. I never recognized the "green" connotation of Vietnamese money until James pointed it out.
3. "I'm very auditory" said one of the beauty queens. She is an ear? I'm no grammar/ vocabulary expert but this statement just sounds wrong. "I'm very audile", or "I have sensitive ears" is what she meant... I think. Or she could have meant she was an ear. While saying this, she stopped at a trash can and listened to crickets thinking it was the auditory clue they were looking for. How nice.
4. Karma is soooo sweet. Again, the beauty queens cut the line to reach the boats and in doing so, one of them ended up with a bleeding leg. I was laughing like crazy. Lyn and Karlyn, the team they passed, said they had that coming. I was thinking of a gorier form of retribution... perhaps broken fingernails? Or a broken tiara? I have issues with beauty queens... But I also do believe in world peace, baton twirling... and putting vaseline on your teeth.
   
5. Alot of people don't know how to row a boat. Tine and I made our audition CD to Amazing Race Asia in a boat while we were rowing and a couple of friends were filming us. We would have sailed (no pun intended) in that rowing challenge.., Okay, okay... so we rowed a boat in a calm lake and it may be... just a little harder to row against strong ocean current.
6. They used two types of boats... A Junk looks like a tug boat (in background), yes the type of boat Popeye has, and the other one is a Sampan (the one the bickering couple in the foreground are in and are trying desperately to maneuver) which looks like a regular row boat.
7. It is probably wise to raise the anchor if you want your junk to move faster.

Tom and Terry got eliminated. Tom on Ha Long Bay: "As long as there is a Starbucks nearby, we can live here!"

Labels: amazing race, idiot box

A third world country on the third leg. The Amazing Race sure is tough on the present teams. They were also given zero money during the onset of the leg and were not allowed to beg or sell anything they had. Such harsh conditions were usually saved for the last 5 legs of the race or so when the teams were likely to have nervouse breakdowns.


TAR taught me:

1. Save money...
2. 5 US Dollars = +/- 80,000 Vietnamese Dong... sheesh!
3. A bouquet of flowers in Vietnam costs something between 2,000 to 3,000 dong
4. Coal can be molded like Play-doh.
5. There is a truth in the conniving beauty queen stereotype. The beauty queens should have thought twice before cutting in front of the middle-aged queens with orange shirts. Rawwrrr!
   
6. There is a Hanoi Hilton, It is a prison where French colonists in vietnam interrogated/tortured political prisoners... no it is not owned by the Hiltons, although watching A Simple Life does come close to torture.
   
7. There is an innate camaraderie between American southeners, or at least between two teams in the show. To Kill a Mockingbird is one of my favorite books.
8. Attractive people are attractive with or without the coal stains.
9. Paying your respects to important historical people pays off, and in this case the prize is a kick-ass state of the art entertainment showcase.
10. Make sure you are riding the right bus to Vac.
11. I spotted a boom operator! Haha... last leg it was a camera man, and unless there are people in Hanoi who walk around with a microphone on a "fishing pole", then I'm sure I saw a boom operator.
12. When a local at the airport tells you she'll bring you to your destination, have second thoughts... she may ask you to drop her off at her brother's house 30 minutes away from where you were supposed to be going. Note: Do not take her at all when you only have 11 dollars for taxi fare.
13. Never ride a motorcycle in Vietnam. You could be charged with a 30 minute penalty or lose a couple of limbs.
14. Oh and by the way, the title of the post is "Do you speak English" in Vietnamese... It's a lot easier to just ask it in english and wait for those who understand to talk to you... But where is the fun in that?? More Vietnamese Phrases. Cam on! (Thank You)
    

One of the teams I like got axed... Boo Hoo. They had the worst luck with their money management, interaction with locals and navigation. They HAD to make a perfect bird cage, I think so long as the bird couldn't get out of the cage, it qualifies as a cage. Duke and Lauren took too much time impressing the bird cage maker, and so... they were sent home on the mat set atop a rice field.

All pictures from CBS




Grip Guden
It is Norwegian for "Catch the God". The Queer Chef is raising funds for an independent film with this existential title. If you are interested in indies and would like to help, please visit this page.




Green
My favorite color and the name of this week's tenant. This blog is owned by Rache from Bristol, UK. Oh, and I just noticed it... Rache Green, an "L" and I have a tenant from FRIENDS!

Labels: amazing race, BE tenant, idiot box

Beyond Genghis
I never realized how little I know about Mongolia until tonight. The only relevant thing I could enumerate about the land bound country between China and Russia is Genghis Khan, and this knowledge is solely based on a poor memory of history and Age of Empires. It has a fascinatingly desolate landscape.
The second leg of The Amazing Race started in Beijing and ended in Ulan Bator.


TAR Taught Me:

1. Ulan Bator is pronounced, according to Phil, Ulan Bat(aa)r. My highschool history class mnemonics allowed me to match a lot of countries with their corresponding capital cities... correct pronunciation of exotic names was never an issue then. Spelling was what got you the measly point. There sure are a lot of new countries now, watching an international beauty pageant has transformed from "Miss Venuezuela is so statuesque" to "Where is Moldova?"
2. The Mongolian nomadic shelter is called a Gir. It is, as seen in pic, a cylindric tent supported by wooden bracing. It didn't seem easy to build and rebuild. I'm in love with the Mongolian language already. So simple and you produce sounds I have only done when I tried to read the Dwarf scripts in The Lord of the Rings.
3. Another Mongolian word is Hynik. This is the name of an indigenous bovine animal similar to a cow. Althought my knowledge of cattle is very limited, I would know how to pick a good hynik to help me fetch water for the Detour. Simply put: Horns = Bad... Cow that looks like that cartoon on a chocolate drink = Good.
4. There are camels in Mongolia.
   
5. The easiest way to fix a Russian military jeep whose battery died = Ask someone.
6. There are people who have never met a homosexual. David and Mary, married from Kentucky admitted to never having been around gays. Mary quickly adding "... I like them!" with a sincere smile and bewildered eyes.
7. There are cameramen! I have always been amazed that in shows like this and Survivor, you rarely (possibly never) see any of the cameramen. At first you take them for granted and merely enjoy the omnipresence that television gives. But when you get obsessed (like me) such ideas creep into your brain. If I recall properly, I have only seen one cameraman on The Amazing Race. This happened about two seasons ago when a team accidentally upended a jeep causing some injury to themselves and their cameraman. I didn't actually see the cameraman on TV, but I spotted him here...
8. Lastly, If you don't want to get eliminated... don't drive away from where you need to be going. A map (or directions from locals) is a racer's best friend. Kellie & Jamie did just that and got booted. I guess they ran out of cheers... (they're cheerleaders... get it? hahaha... I'm so lame)

All photos from CBS


Baguio's Dose of Irony
Miss Jessica Zafra (Goddess of Irony) will be giving a talk on Personal Essays on Wednesday (September 27, 2006) 2 pm, at University of the Philippines Baguio. I'm sure that will be interesting so if you're in the city, that would be the best place to spend the afternoon. Boo Hoo for me because I got work... but I'm thinking I'll develop a pseudo-headache after lunch on Wednesday. har har har... Bring your Twisted books because she'll sign them if you're nice.
Information from her relocated blog.


You Want Flies with That?
Got me a new tenant.


Hop on over to the Enchanted Lily Pad and give Ribbiticus a Ribbit.
Pond Perspective

Labels: amazing race, BE tenant, idiot box

The 10th season of The Amazing Race has the most culturally diverse line-up of teams to date. Most of the teams come from a minority group in the States. There is a Korean team, an African-American team, an Indian Team, a Moslem Team, and Caucasian teams from different sub-cultures in the US. Survivor, another CBS show, divided the survivors into four teams defined by ethnicity.

The Teams
I'm gonna do a bit of pigeonholing here. It is a lot easier to say "the dating prosthetist and amputee" than "the team with a girl who works as a motivational speaker that has been an amputee since childhood and wears a prosthetic leg prescribed by her triathlete partner, a clinical prosthetist, who has been her friend for six years and the two are currently dating."

1. Bilal and Sa'eed - Moslem Bestfriends
2. David and Mary - Coalminer and Wife (I'm remembering Zoolander a bit...)
3. Duke and Lauren - Dad and Lesbian Daughter (If memory serves me correct, Lauren is the first lesbian to run the race)
4. Dustin and Candace - Miss California and Miss New York (World Peace!)
5. Erwin and Godwin - Korean Brothers
6. Kellie and Jamie - Cheerleaders (Give me an A!)
7. Lyn and Karlyn - African-American Single Parents
8. Peter and Sarah - Dating Prosthetist and Amputee
9. Rob and Kimberly - The Token Explosive Couple
10. Tom and Terry - The Token Gay Couple
11. Tyler and James - The Token Attractive Male Model Team
12. Vipul and Arti - Married Indian-Americans

Needle to Wall with a Twist
The first leg of the race started in Seattle (Phil is on a ferryboat... Grey's Anatomy montage in my head) and ended in Beijing. True to Amazing Race fashion, the teams get off some identical vehicles as they are introduced, this season the transportation of choice... seaplanes. Phil did his speech yaddah yaddah... and says Go! Every season someone trips or slides in the first run to the bags. I was anticipating it with concentration... this season it was Tyler (or James?). They reach the Fords and the intro music starts.

Between that and scaling The Great Wall of China, they ate fish eyes, some paved an area with bricks, some did Taiji Bailong... of course some got lost, some bickered, some made frantic "faster, faster!" remarks to their taxi drivers and some kept looking for people who spoke English. A typical racing day. Oh and yes, a twist... Bilal and Sa'eed got eliminated in a non-pit stop. This was a foreboding.

I was amazed at Sarah's (the amputee who looks like Naomi Watts) sheer determination in scaling The Great Wall. I am almost sure I heard the Rocky Theme play when she reached the top. The Indian couple, Vipul and Arti, aka "Team Karma" got eliminated. Too bad, I really liked them.



Early Picks
I didn't have an immediate favorite when the teams were introduced via VTR. I thought I'd like the Korean contingent, but aside from the squirt guns, they were a bit bland. Rob and Kimberly didn't fight as much as I would have wanted them to. Team Karma got booted early.

Of the teams, I like Duke and Lauren most. They were estranged when Lauren came out. Lauren looks a bit like Claire Forlani, an actress I really like. Us homosexuals need to stick together. I wanted to root for the gay couple but they wore a lot of orange and did a lot of chicken dancing. If I were to put my money on anyone though, I'd pick the male model team. Tyler (Michael Vartan's doppelganger) and James look like an Abercrombie & Fitch ad. Mesmerizing eyes and chiselled jaw lines aside, they look like a tough team. They are recovered drug addicts and anyone who can attain sobriety has got to have a great amount of inner strength. Ok, ok... looks was the major factor (shoot me).





TAR taught me:

1. Real friendships can blossom from a beauty pageant (I've always thought beauty queens are backstabbing vixens with perfect teeth... thanks to movies and that Vertical Horizon video of "You're a God"
   
2. Fish eyes are a delicacy in China.
   
3. Moslem men aren't allowed to shake hands with women (This is an observation and I'm not totally sure about the rigidity and coverage of this rule)
   
4. Handicapped passengers are pre-boarded on a plane.
5. Squirt guns are not allowed in airports (I dunno if this is an international rule, but seeing the extremely strict and obtrusive rules and regulations airports have now, I'm guessing it is)
6. There are female taxi drivers in China. (amazing!)
7. Ok I already know this, but for the benefit of others... "Thank you" in Mandarin Chinese is "Xie Xie" and "How are you?" is "Ni Hao Ma?"
   
8. Scaling The Great Wall of China, according to Karlyn, "can't be worse than child birth" (hahaha)
   

Seems like all my Monday posts are gonna be Amazing Race related for a few months. Bear with me... It is beyond an obsession.


Photo Credits:
All photos from CBS

Labels: amazing race, idiot box