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Sarcasm Aside

random thoughts of a self-diagnosed neurotic with the attention span of a five-year old... a blog by Alternati

Dude, Where's Your Dogsled?

Tuesday, December 12, 2006




It's official. The season has shifted from mild, a-scarf-will-do, thick comforter cold season TO hell freezing over (see: excruciating)

Excruciating (adj.)
  1. You require three layers of clothing to prevent your blood from congealing.
  2. You require another hour to rise from bed... your nervous system is on holiday.
  3. You see smoke from your mouth and you're not holding a Marlboro Light.
  4. Despite the meteorological impossibility, you swear you saw snow.
  5. You forget where you parked your dogsled.
  6. You entertain the idea of hugging... even with complete strangers.
  7. Even you're hair is numb, and is perpetually towel dried despite the aid of hairblowers, you're new bestfriend.
  8. You're basic necessities are air, water, food and a radiator.
  9. The idea of ice cream is blaspemous.
  10. You contemplate selling your soul for a one-way ticket to the Caribbean or a pizza furnace, whichever you could afford.
  11. You're only vocabulary outdoors include "f"s and "s"s and "brrr"
  12. You wanna maim anything resembling Frosty the Snowman.
  13. You prefer boiled Coca-cola.

Baguio, my city (wanna see the deed?) is set atop a plateau. I've lived here for most of my life and it still amazes me that people during the American occupation literally paved the way to this relatively remote place. The attraction was/is the cool weather due to the elevation. I've never actually seen any but they* say that it was so cold here in Baguio then, that icicles hung on pine trees like tinsel. It's not a big thing compared to people who live farther from the equator... but living in the tropics... people come to see these things.

*They - everyone heard "them" say it but noone seems to know who "they" are.

Global warming has started buying tracts of real estate here, and although the only place you see icicles in are freezers whose regular defrostings have been forgotten, it is STILL very cold here... and the tardy typhoons aren't helping either.

I'm not complaining...

If you'll excuse me, my marshmallows are starting to burn, I've decided to turn all the wooden furniture in my room into kindling. This is gonna be the best bonfire ever! the only problem is where I'm gonna sleep. Meh...



Art Cred:
Melting Snowman

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Oh happy day!
Dreamy Tyler and James won the Amazing Race. Ooh la la... It doesn't feel as cold anymore.

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Welcoming my new tenant: Blonde Chick Bloggin', Sorry but the heater is kaput. You are however free to burn any flammable thing in the room. Link at the right sidebar... Tell her I sent you.


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posted by Alternati, 1:04 AM
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